


I have and I always will

by momentsintimex



Series: all of my wrongs they led me right to you [2]
Category: To All the Boys I've Loved Before Series - Jenny Han, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (2018)
Genre: Don't copy to another site, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2019-11-03 21:38:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 87,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17885660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/momentsintimex/pseuds/momentsintimex
Summary: Lara Jean Song-Covey and Peter Kavinsky are getting married.Even if everything were to go wrong, at the end of it Lara Jean is going to be a Kavinsky.Now they just have to plan it.





	1. I'll love you for a thousand more

**Author's Note:**

> title of this fic comes from I Have and I Always Will by Dave Barnes :)

Three weeks after Peter proposes, Margot comes home for the engagement party armed with wedding magazines, a planning book, and a million ideas.

“You should’ve known this was going to happen,” Margot says simply when she sets her bag down by the front door of Lara Jean’s apartment and makes herself at home on the sofa. Peter smiles from the kitchen where he had been helping Emmi get a bowl of fruit. “I went out and got all new wedding magazines and the planner that saved my life when I was planning my own wedding. And I may have poked through the magazines and there are so many amazing ideas I would’ve put into my wedding if I was just a little bit more creative.”

“I don’t want my wedding to be just like yours though, Go Go,” Lara Jean says quietly, indulging her sister and flipping through the magazines she laid out on the coffee table. “I’ve been making a Pinterest board of my own for my wedding, and I want to incorporate some of that. And not just whatever we find in wedding magazines that we think looks good.”

Margot nods as she flips through the magazines she bought before she came, and Lara Jean isn’t even totally positive that she was listening to what her sister was saying. “There are so many cute ideas in these magazines now,” She says quietly, pointing to a decoration for the actual ceremony. “I feel like you’d like more of these homemade things rather than more elegant like I had.”

And sure, Margot _was_ right about that, but she had barely been engaged and planning any sort of decorations or even a broad plan hadn’t crossed Lara Jean’s mind, at least not yet. She was kind of just enjoying the stage of being engaged to her best friend.

She’s almost too afraid to tell Margot she hasn’t even thought about wedding venues.

Lara Jean indulges her sister for a while, lazily wrapping her arm around Emmi when she pulls herself up onto the sofa to look through magazines with them. Faintly she can hear Peter and Ravi talking in the kitchen about work and Emmi’s sports, glasses clinking in the kitchen while Emmi sucks on a piece of watermelon, pointing with her sticky fingers towards a centerpiece she likes.

The weekend was already off to a crazy start, and for as overwhelmed as Lara Jean suddenly feels, she doesn’t think she would trade any of this for anything.

_______________________________

Since getting engaged, Lara Jean spends more nights at Peter’s than she does at her own apartment.

She goes home some nights, always saying that she feels bad she’s not spending time in her apartment when she’s paying for it. Peter always pouts, says he understands, and promises to stop by the bakery just like he has been for the last few months.

On the nights she spends at Peter’s, they idly look through wedding websites and Pinterest to start getting ideas. Both agree that they don’t want to wait forever to get married, but Lara Jean, the ever-organized person that she is, insists that it can’t hurt to look and at least get some ideas.

“I think the more homemade feeling is better for us, don't you?” She asks when she curls up under Peter’s arm when he returns from putting Emmi to bed, scrolling through Pinterest on her laptop. “Like cute chalkboard signs and more rustic decorations. I don't want anything too elegant.”

Peter hums in agreement, taking a sip of his drink. “I’m not sure we’re really the elegant type of people,” He smiles, twirling his finger around her hair before releasing. “I like the chalkboard signs though. They’re cute.”

“Are you just saying that because I said I like them?” She asks, turning just enough to be able to look at his face. “Because I don’t want you to just agree with me on things. This is _our_ wedding. I don’t want you to settle if you don’t like something.”

Peter laughs quietly, chest vibrating when her head falls back against him. “I’m not just agreeing with you, I really do like them,” He says quietly. His voice raspy, halfway between awake and asleep. “But Lara Jean, I want this wedding to be perfect for you. You know I’m going to love anything you choose.”

“But you’ll have input? You won’t just say you like things to please me?” She asks quietly, and without hesitation Peter nods and hums in agreement.

“Of course I will have input,” He says softly, and that’s enough for Lara Jean to continue pinning ideas to her board in silence, Peter drifting off to sleep underneath her.

_______________________________

Kitty, Trina, and Mrs. Kavinsky take charge in organizing the engagement party. Margot helps from afar, mostly answering FaceTimes from Kitty who aimlessly scrolls through websites ordering decorations for the celebration in a few weeks when Margot finally has a free weekend to come home.

“I know we’re supposed to let them organize the engagement party, like that isn’t up to us, but aren’t you a little bit worried about how it’s going to go?” Lara Jean asks when they’re out for lunch, Emmi too engrossed in her food to listen to the conversation.

Peter plucks a fry from his plate and shrugs, shoving it in his mouth and waiting until he swallows before he speaks. “I mean, it is Trina and my mom helping Kitty, so I don’t think we have to be _that_ worried,” He rationalizes. “Will they go a little overboard and make a big deal out of things? Probably. But it’s my mom and your stepmom, and they are just really excited that we’re getting married.”

Lara Jean nods, stabbing her fork into her salad as she sighs. “Do you feel like this is all going to be overwhelming? Like there’s so much that goes into a wedding and I knew that from Trina and Daddy’s wedding, but like, this one is ours. Which means we have to make all the decisions and not just come up with ideas, and I’m worried about that.”

Peter’s hand rests on hers, gently setting her fork down in her bowl so she’ll look up at him. “Hey, you know I’m going to be very involved with the whole planning process, right?” He says softly. “And we can take our time with this if you want. Really take time to make decisions. We don’t have to get married right away, you know,” He smiles. “I’m kind of loving calling you my fiancé.”

Lara Jean laughs, ducking her head when she feels the blush creep up on her cheeks. “I don’t want to wait forever,” She mumbles, but she nods anyway. “But I know. We’ll get it all done, and we’ll take help from our family and friends and it’ll be perfect.”

She looks back up, smiling. “Besides, as long as you’re waiting for me at the end of the aisle I don’t really think I’ll care about anything else.”

“Very cliche, Covey,” He smirks, squeezing her hand. “But honestly, as long as you’re there and Em’s there and we’re both walking down that aisle, I don’t care if no one else shows up or everything else goes wrong.”

Lara Jean nods, grinning as she squeezes his hand, more for her comfort than his. “I love you,” She whispers, gently removing her hand to finish the rest of her dinner.

“Love you too,” He smiles in reply, shifting his attention to Emmi, who has moved back onto the games on her menu.

Lara Jean watches as she finishes the rest of her dinner, biting back a smile when she thinks about how she’s going to be his wife, and Emmi is going to be the daughter she once only dreamed of having.

Nothing else matters but having them there on the wedding day.

_______________________________

“What do you think about getting married on a beach?”

Peter looks over at Lara Jean while he makes Emmi’s lunch for camp the next morning, scrunching his nose. “Are we really beach people?” He asks. “I mean sure, we love going there on vacations and things, but are we beach people enough to want to get married there?”

Lara Jean mulls it over for a minute, and then shrugs. “I guess you’re right,” She nods. “And besides, having it at the beach means we have to worry about the weather. Having an outdoor wedding is one thing, but wet sand?” She shivers at the thought.

Peter goes back to finishing packing Emmi’s lunch, mumbling about how he has to cut her sandwich into shapes because Ella at camp’s mom cuts her sandwiches into shapes and Peter absolutely cannot be outdone by another parent.

Lara Jean offers to help, which Peter immediately shakes his head at. He pokes his tongue out the side of his mouth as he follows the instructions to cut out a bear, and then glances up to Lara Jean, who’s sprawled out on his sofa scrolling through her laptop. “Keep suggesting wedding venue ideas, I want to hear them,” He says quietly, going back to his sandwich designs.

“I’m going to go ahead and assume we’re not church people,” She smiles. Peter scrunches his nose, shaking his head.

“Not to be dramatic, but I feel like me being in a church is just not a thing that should ever happen,” He teases, laughing when Lara Jean rolls her eyes and continues scrolling through the options on a website she found.

“Destination wedding?”

“Our friends and family would kill us.”

“A park.”

“Emmi would run off to find the playground.” Lara Jean stares at him. “Don’t look at me like that. You know she absolutely would.”

“I was thinking more along the lines of a park with no playground, but whatever.”

He tells her to write it down.

“An old farmhouse? Or like, a historic building or something?”

“That’s not a bad idea,” He says after he thinks about it for a moment, putting Emmi’s now put together lunch in the fridge.

“A hotel?”

“What about your dad’s backyard?”

Lara Jean stops scrolling, looking out to the kitchen where Peter is putting the last of the things in the dishwasher. “Are you being serious right now?”

He pauses, looking over his shoulder. “Yeah?” He says, shutting off the water, drying his hands, and walking into the living room. “I mean, you love your childhood home a lot, right? And we know it can handle a wedding because your dad and Trina got married there.”

“They probably had less people there than we will though,” She mumbles, falling against his side when he sits down beside her. “Do you really think we could get married there?”

Peter smiles, shrugging. “I don’t think it should be taken off the list. Obviously we have to talk to your dad about it, but don’t you want to at least keep it a possibility?”

Lara Jean chews on the inside of her lip for a moment before she nods. “Yeah, okay,” She agrees. “Let’s keep it on the list. But can we go visit a few other places? Just to get an idea of other venues and things. I don’t know, I don’t want to stick to one option and wonder if we made the right decision.”

Peter’s hand tangles in her hair, his lips pressing lightly to her forehead. “Yeah, of course. We can go visit as many places as you want,” He mumbles, reaching over to scroll through the farmhouse website Lara Jean had been looking at. “This place looks pretty. Maybe we could set up a tour there?”

Lara Jean nods, showing him a few other options she found. He plays with her hair, his other hand rubs her thigh, and eventually he moves the laptop off of her and pulls her into his lap. “Can we just forget about venues and budgets and make out for a little?” He smirks, hands running up the back of her shirt as he kisses her.

Lara Jean moans softly, hands snaking up the back of his neck and into his hair, pulling gently when she moves to kiss along his jaw. His hands snake up her back, along the edges of her bra, unhooking it expertly as he moans at her mouth pressing light kisses along his jaw and down to his neck.

“Lara Jean,” He breathes out, pulling his lip between his teeth as he squeezes her sides.

She pulls back just enough, kissing his lips roughly again as she smiles. “Bedroom?” She mumbles, pressing her forehead to his.

He doesn’t answer, just effortlessly lifts her in his arms and carries her down the hall, the laptop full of haphazard ideas for their wedding left abandoned on the sofa.

_______________________________

The engagement party Kitty, Trina and his mom had been planning was limited to family and close family friends. Lara Jean and Peter were wary about having their friends there with their families, but Chris and Gabe both agreed that they would plan a much more inappropriate engagement party for a later time where they could just let loose.

Lara Jean wakes up the morning of their party with butterflies in her stomach and her heart racing. It’s the first time they’re seeing extended family since Peter proposed, and many of her family members will be meeting Emmi for the first time.

She gets to work on Emmi’s hair, twisting it and braiding it in ways that Peter could only dream of as he watches on in awe. “Are you excited to go home and have a party with everyone?” Lara Jean asks as Emmi leans forward to take another bite of her muffin.

Emmi hums, sitting back so Lara Jean can finish her hair. “There are going to be a lot of people there, right?”

“There are.”

“And Kitty will be there?”

Lara Jean laughs. “She will be.”

Emmi shifts her attention to Peter, who’s just walked back into the kitchen almost ready to go. “And Uncle Owen?”

Peter smiles, sending a quick text. “Uncle Owen will be there, yes,” He nods, looking at her muffin that sits half eaten on the table. “If you’re going to finish that then keep eating, please. We have to go soon which means you need to get changed and brush your teeth.”

Emmi nods, reaching forward for her muffin to finish off just as Lara Jean secures the last of the bobby pins, taking a photo to show her.

“I love it,” Emmi gasps, turning back to Lara Jean with a smile on her face. “Thank you, Lara Jean!”

“Welcome, babe. Now, go get dressed before your dad gets mad at us both.”

Emmi nods, taking off down the hall as Lara Jean stands up to go get ready herself, Peter pulling her back. “You’re the best, you know that?”

“Hm, I do, but it’s nice to hear you say it,” She smirks, perching on her tip toes to kiss him. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” He mumbles, fingers brushing through a loose piece of hair. “And I’d love it if you went and got dressed so we’re not late to our own engagement party.”

Lara Jean rolls her eyes, but her smile grows wider on her face as she leans up to kiss him, disappearing down the hall.

She bought a new dress for the occasion, one that’s modest enough and flowing and that Emmi said made her look the most beautiful ever, which, coming from a 5 year old, seems to be the highest of compliments. She’s been practicing walking in heels, a feat even she didn’t think was possible when Chris convinced her that she’d absolutely be able to wear them.

Peter had taken Emmi out for a new dress, which ended up being a painstaking two hours at the mall with a 5 year old who didn’t like anything he picked out. Lara Jean had been stuck at work working on wedding cake, but laughed at each text that came in from Peter complaining that his daughter was already putting up fights when it came to picking her own clothes and he wasn’t sure how he was going to survive until she’s 18.

“You look beautiful, peanut,” Lara Jean smiles when she returns to the living room as Emmi twirls in her dress, her new shoes proudly on her feet. “Ready to go?”

Peter nods, taking Lara Jean’s hand when they leave his apartment, Emmi running in front of them. Lara Jean checks her phone, sends a quick text to make sure the bakery was okay, and then promises herself she’s going to focus her full attention on the engagement party that afternoon and relishing in the fact that her entire family will be in one place at one time.

—

Lara Jean gasps when they open the door to Mrs. Kavinsky’s house, which Peter takes as a good thing as he ushers Emmi in behind her.

“This place looks beautiful, oh my god,” Lara Jean mumbles, accepting hugs from Trina, Mrs. Kavinsky, Margot and Kitty. “You guys really went through all this trouble?”

“It really was no trouble at all, sweetheart,” Mrs. Kavinsky smiles, bending down for a hug from her granddaughter. “We want to spoil the two of you and celebrate the fact that you’re finally getting married!”

Peter rolls his eyes, hugging his mom, Margot, Trina and even Kitty, walking out to the backyard to help Dr. Covey and Ravi with the last of the decorations.

“You ready for today?” Dr. Covey smiles once they hang the last of the draperies Margot ordered, squeezing Peter’s shoulder. “The engagement party is always more for the bride.”

“Lara Jean is beside herself with excitement,” He smiles, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Is it normal that this makes it feel more real?”

Peter’s cheeks blush when both Ravi and Dr. Covey laugh, but Dr. Covey nods anyway. “If you think this makes it feel real, wait until you start looking at venues and booking things. Then it will really feel real,” He smiles, and somehow that makes Peter feel a little bit sick about everything they’re about to get themselves into.

“Are you and Lara Jean planning everything yourselves?” Ravi asks, sitting down on one of the outdoor sofas. “Margot and I thought we would, but then we found a great wedding planner, and that really helped everything feel much less stressful.”

Peter sits in the chair across from Ravi, shrugging. “We’ve been doing things ourselves, but we also haven’t really started? We’ve just been looking at ideas for venues, which I don’t really think we need a planner for.”

“Well, keep it in mind. I’m sure there are great ones around here that would make everything easier. Especially since you have Emmi and you and Lara Jean both work full-time.”

Peter nods, thanks them both, and when they hear the front door open and the chatter begin, the three men make their way inside to start celebrating.

—

Peter doesn’t remember Lara Jean having this many family members.

He has a lot of extended family there too, all of them excited to see Emmi again and have an excuse to be together as a family. Emmi is excited to play with some of Peter’s cousin’s kids, all of them outside running around in the sunshine.

And then she follows Peter around when it’s time to eat, making her way to where Lara Jean had been talking with a few of her cousins who made the trip to help celebrate.

“This is Peter’s daughter, Emmi,” Lara Jean introduces her, Emmi leaning against her leg as Lara Jean’s fingers brush back some wisps of hair that have fallen out of her braid. “Emmi, these are my cousins Ella and Rachel.”

Emmi smiles, saying hell quietly before she looks up at Lara Jean. “Daddy said we can eat in a minute and that I should come find you,” She says quietly, which earns a smile from Lara Jean as she nods.

“Emmi, how old are you?” Rachel asks.

Emmi turns her attention back to Lara Jean’s cousin, a small smile appearing on her face. “I’m 5. But pretty soon I’ll be 6,” She shrugs.

“That’s really exciting!” Rachel smiles, leaning over so she’s closer to Emmi’s height. “Are you excited about the wedding?”

Emmi only grows more excited, nodding quickly. “Uh huh! Lara Jean and Daddy said I can help with stuff,” She smiles, then shifts her attention back to Lara Jean. “But can we go eat lunch now?”

Lara Jean nods, managing to hold Emmi off for a few more minutes before she promises to catch up with her cousins later, leading Emmi back towards the food where Peter had been talking with a few of his own cousins.

Peter notices them both coming, leaning down for a kiss from Lara Jean before they move to go get some lunch. And while Peter’s mom’s house is filled with close friends and family celebrating their engagement, Peter can’t help but think that being right at that small table in the kitchen eating with his fiancé and daughter would have been more than enough to celebrate everything that’s to come for his little family.

_______________________________

They stay late to help clean up after the party, Emmi engrossed by a movie on TV so she’s out of the way. Mrs. Kavinsky offers to have them spend the night, insists that Owen has some things there they could wear to bed and they could go back home in the morning, but Peter insists that he’s fine to drive home and promises to text when they arrive.

“Thank you so much for doing this, Mom,” Peter whispers when he hugs his mom goodbye, Dr. Covey, Trina and Kitty having just left. “This was more than anything we could’ve expected.”

“You know any time I get to celebrate you I’m going to, right?” She smiles, squeezing his arm when he pulls away. “I’m glad you enjoyed it, sweetheart. Thank you for staying and helping me clean up.”

“Wasn’t going to leave you to do it all yourself,” He smiles, letting her fingers linger against his hand for a while. “We’ll come home soon, I promise.”

“You better,” She laughs, and then leans to kiss his cheek again as if she’s not going to see him for months. “Love you.”

“Love you too,” He replies, then moves back so she can say a goodbye to Lara Jean. He watches his mom whisper something in Lara Jean’s ear, and then Lara Jean’s nose crinkles and a soft laugh leaves her mouth, and Peter can’t stop the smile that appears on his face as he watches with such fondness he thinks his heart might just burst.

Emmi says a quick goodbye to her grandmother, promises that she’ll call and tell her all about camp next week, and that she wants to come sleepover soon. His mom winks at him when she stands up, promising that they can absolutely make that happen and Uncle Owen is home for the summer so it’ll be even more exciting.

Peter half expects Emmi to fall asleep on the way home, but she fills the car ride with chatter about all of the cousins she hung out with and how pretty the party was, and when she asks if the wedding is going to be as pretty as that Lara Jean’s hand finds Peter’s, squeezing gently.

“It will, but I’m going to need your help to make it look like that,” Lara Jean smiles, which excites Emmi immediately and says she wants to help with everything.

“Bedtime, kiddo,” Peter says as he hangs up his keys, biting back a smile when Emmi whines as she’s taking off her shoes.

“Can me and Lara Jean look at wedding dresses before I go to sleep?”

Peter shares a glance with Lara Jean, who looks like she’s hiding something as she shrugs and masks her smile.

“Em, it’s already way past your bedtime. We’ve had a long day, aren’t you tired?”

Emmi juts her bottom lip out, shaking her head. “No!” Her arms cross over her chest. “Please, Daddy! Just for a little bit! I don’t even have camp tomorrow.”

Peter glances between Lara Jean and Emmi, sighing. “15 minutes. And then you _have_ to go to bed.”

“Deal,” Emmi agrees, running over to the sofa and pulling the iPad from the coffee table onto her lap.

“You put her up to this,” Peter mumbles against Lara Jean’s ear.

Lara Jean laughs, squeezing his side. “You know I’ll never say,” She whispers against his chest, pulling back to kiss him. “She’s just excited, babe. Let her feel included.”

And so Peter nods, kissing Lara Jean softly before she walks over to the sofa, letting Emmi curl up against her side while they search Pinterest for wedding dresses in all different shapes and styles.

Peter goes to change out of his nice clothes, throwing on an old t-shirt and sweatpants, taking his time. He checks his messages, stars a few work emails he needs to get to first thing Monday morning, then texts Gabe and tells him about the party and how elegant it was, but how Lara Jean absolutely loved it.

Time had passed, it was getting closer to when Peter said Emmi had to go to bed, and so he forces himself to stand up, walks back down the hall, and stops just short of the living room when he sees the scene in front of him.

Lara Jean is scrolling, both girls dissolved into a fit of giggles when Emmi clicks on a dress they obviously don’t love. “Look how poofy it is!” Emmi says between her laughs, cheeks red and eyes scrunched up in laughter, head falling onto Lara Jean’s shoulder as she also laughs beside her.

15 minutes passes by. Peter doesn’t make any attempt to break up the giggle fest happening on his sofa. Instead he just leans against the wall for a while, watching from afar as the two most important people in his life laugh until there’s tears streaming down their faces and bedtime is long forgotten about.

These moments were far more important.


	2. we were just kids when we fell in love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Lara Jean lock down where they want to get married, and Chris and Gabe throw them an engagement party with friends.

The farmhouse venue was great.

Really, Peter found himself loving a place where he could see he and Lara Jean getting married. It was simple, clean, rustic, and just plain enough that it would leave Lara Jean enough room to put her finishing touches and her own style on it that he knows she’s craving.

But as they walk back to the car hand in hand, time flying by and Emmi’s camp pick up time approaching faster than ever, Peter has this unsettling feeling bubbling in his chest like maybe this isn’t the perfect place, and maybe they’re in too far over their heads.

“Have you thought about hiring a wedding planner?”

Lara Jean looks over at him when he asks the question, her task of buckling her seatbelt all but abandoned. “What?”

He shrugs, tearing his gaze away from hers as he turns the car on. “I don’t know. At the engagement party Ravi was talking about how he and Margot got a wedding planner and it took a lot of the stress off,” He says idly, shifting the car into drive. “And I know you want to do this completely your way with all the input, but you’re working long hours at the bakery, and I have work and Emmi, and I just… I think maybe having someone who can help us organize our thoughts but maybe also help us with caterers and florists and all the meeting details would be helpful.”

Lara Jean is quiet for a moment. From the corner of his eye Peter can see her twisting a frayed string from her purse between her finger. “If we got one, I think I’d want to have a wedding planner who let me still have a lot of input.”

“I agree,” Peter says immediately. His hand searches for hers, and she grabs it. “I don’t want a wedding planner to literally plan everything, but maybe helping find vendors is a good middle ground? It’ll take some stress off of both of us.”

He stops at a red light, glancing over at Lara Jean. She’s chewing on the corner of her lip, a telltale sign that Peter knows she’s considering it. Which is far more than Peter thought he was going to get when he brought it up.

“I think we should look into it. At least for help with vendors, and little things that are going to take up a lot of time that we don’t really have,” She agrees, squeezing his hand.

Peter smiles, the light turns green, and her hand stays in his as she reaches to turn on the radio.

“What did you think of the farmhouse?” She asks after a few minutes, Peter following the beginning of rush hour traffic down towards the camp Emmi was at.

He shrugs, glancing over. “It was really pretty,” He says, but Lara Jean can hear there’s more coming. “I think there’s a lot we could do with it, make it our own without feeling like it’s manufactured, but…”

He pauses, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. “I don’t know. There’s something about it that’s not sitting right with me.”

“Is it because it’s not my dad’s backyard?” She asks. He can hear the smile behind her words without even having to look at her. “It’s okay if it is.”

Peter shakes his head, his cheeks heating and a smile growing. “Yeah, kind of,” He admits sheepishly. “I don’t know… I guess I just have this vision in my mind of when we were 17 and we were at your dad’s wedding and it was like every single thing was perfect. Everyone was so happy and… I don’t know. It’s dumb, right?”

“I don’t think it’s dumb,” She replies softly. “I kind of felt the same way when we were at the farmhouse.”

“You did?”

Lara Jean nods, twisting her ring around her finger. “It was gorgeous, and I could totally see us getting married there, but it’s not totally us. And I think my house has all these amazing memories engrained in it. For me, but also with you. Like the treehouse in the back and the years of assassin and all our other childhood games. And then sneaking out there when we were teenagers and my dad and Trina’s wedding, and I don’t know…”

“It just feels right, doesn’t it?” He smiles. At another stoplight, he glances over. “So do we ask your dad then?”

Lara Jean smiles confidently, nodding. “We still have a few other tours lined up for this week. Of other venues.”

“So we go to them,” Peter shrugs, shifting his attention back to the road. “I mean, there’s always a chance your dad could say no. And who knows, maybe we’ll find a venue we somehow love more than your dad’s backyard.”

Lara Jean nods, turns the music up a little louder, and holds her fiancé’s hand as they drive down the busy roads towards home.

_______________________________

It becomes a nightly ritual for Emmi and Lara Jean to sit on the sofa looking at wedding ideas on Pinterest. Emmi quickly loses interest in decorations, but she loves looking at dresses and bridesmaids colors, offering her input whenever she feels necessary.

Peter usually spends that time putting Emmi’s lunch together, watching from the kitchen as Lara Jean and Emmi scroll, giggling through things that would pop up in their searches. His heart grows watching their bond strengthen, the two of them closer than they ever had been before.

“Okay kid, bedtime,” Peter says when he reenters the living room, looking at both of them huddled up on the sofa. “You have camp in the morning, which means you need to get to sleep.”

Emmi nods, tossing the iPad aside and focusing solely on Lara Jean. “Will you be here in the morning?”

“I won’t,” Lara Jean sighs, hands resting on Emmi’s back when she crawls into her lap. “I’m going to sleep at my apartment tonight because I have to be at work early in the morning.”

Emmi’s smile falters, but she nods anyway and leans forward to hug Lara Jean. “Okay. Well I love you!”

“I love you too, peanut. Have a good day at camp tomorrow,” She smiles, kissing her cheek when she pulls away to slide off of her lap and walk down the hall with Peter.

Lara Jean takes the alone time to pack up her things from staying the night before, shoving them all into her purse that she brought with her. Peter returns quietly, wrapping his arms around her from behind and pressing his lips to her hair, savoring the moment.

“You really can’t stay?” He murmurs, arms squeezing a little tighter.

“I really do have to be at work early,” She says in reply, wriggling so she can turn to face him. “And besides, I spent last night here.”

Peter nods, leaning down to kiss her softly. “I get it. Just gonna miss you.”

“You’re a sap,” She smiles, but it’s teasing and warm and Peter just laughs, kissing her again. “Hey, my dad is coming into the city tomorrow for some meeting with doctors down at the hospital. He’s stopping by the bakery at 12 for lunch, want to come and see him so we can ask about using the backyard?”

“Tomorrow?” Peter asks, following her towards the entryway where she slips back on her sandals. “I mean, I’m sure I can. I don’t think I have anything going on,” He agrees. “But we still have a few more venue tours this week.”

Lara Jean shrugs. “Yeah, but it wouldn’t hurt to ask now. So if he says no we know we need to take these tours super seriously.”

Peter thinks about it for a moment, scrolling through the calendar on his phone before he nods. “Yeah, okay. But I can’t stay long, I have a call at 1:20.”

“Fair,” She smiles, leaning up to kiss him. “I love you.”

“Love you too,” Peter smiles, his lips lingering on hers for an extra moment before she leaves.

_______________________________

Dr. Covey is already at the bakery by the time Peter arrives, tucked into a table in the back corner. He’s brought salads for the three of them, stands up to shake Peter’s hand when he arrives, and the three of them sit back down.

“You seem busy today,” Peter notes, looking around at a few people eating in the bakery and a few others waiting in line.

Lara Jean shrugs, the bags under her eyes poorly hid underneath concealer giving away how she’s feeling. “Lots of birthdays in the summer. We’re doing fine though,” She smiles, stabbing lettuce with her fork before Peter can say anything else.

They talk about work for a while, Dr. Covey talks about the meetings he’s in while he’s checking his phone, mumbling about how he has a feeling one of his patients is going to go into labor while he’s in the city. Lara Jean asks him how having Kitty home for the summer is, hears all about how she found a job and she’s been hanging out with friends, and for a moment Peter forgets why they’re even meeting at all.

“So I take it wedding planning is going well?” He asks, and Lara Jean glances at Peter with a small smile on her face.

“It’s going pretty well,” She shrugs. “We toured a farmhouse the other day and we have a few other places lined up this week. But actually,” She says softly. She reaches for Peter’s hand under the table. “We have a question for you.”

Dr. Covey raises his eyebrows as he takes a sip of water. “And what would that be?”

“Would we be able to get married in the backyard? You know, like you and Trina did?” She asks quickly. Peter squeezes gently.

Dr. Covey has never been one to remain stoic, Lara Jean knows. So when he smiles and leans back in his chair, she feels the anxiety leave her. “I’d have to talk to Trina about it,” He begins, twirling his water bottle between his hands, “but I don’t see why not.”

“Really?” Peter says, which earns a laugh from Dr. Covey.

“Why not?” He says, leaning forward again. “As long as you think it’s enough space to hold everyone you want to invite, I’d love to have you guys get married there. It may be a tight fit, but I think we could pull it off. Much cheaper, too.”

“Thank you, Daddy,” Lara Jean smiles, standing up and hugging her father as he laughs. “Seriously. I mean, we’re still going to go on these tours, but the backyard is our first choice.”

“Yours too?” Dr. Covey asks.

Peter nods. “We have a lot of good memories there,” He says softly.

Lara Jean smiles. Dr. Covey looks between the two of them. “That you do,” He nods. “I’ll double check with Trina tonight. Let me know when you want to do this.”

“We will,” She nods, and the conversation slowly dwindles down as Peter’s lunch hour slowly comes to an end.

He says his goodbyes to both Dr. Covey and Lara Jean, thanking Dr. Covey for lunch and for letting them use the backyard before he rushes back to work, pulling his phone from his pocket when he’s back in the elevator to text Lara Jean.

_Well, that’s one thing off our list :)_

She replies back a minute later, a million fireworks emojis and thumbs up to celebrate.

_______________________________

The weekly FaceTimes with the Song-Covey girls become almost daily. Margot constantly asks for wedding updates, asking if they’ve looked at more venues or maybe window shopped some dress ideas, to which Lara Jean usually answers no. That they didn’t have time and the bakery has been hectic with new hires and business booming more than ever before.

But tonight Margot asks, a glint of hopefulness in her eyes that maybe they’ve actually done _some_ wedding planning despite it being a Wednesday, and Lara Jean can’t help but smile.

“Actually, Daddy was in the city today for a meeting at the hospital, and so Peter and I went to lunch with him,” Lara Jean begins, balancing her plate of dinner in one hand and her laptop in the other as she walks to sit on the sofa. “We're going to get married in the backyard.”

It’s not that Lara Jean is expecting her sisters to erupt in cheers or maybe a celebration that she’s choosing to get married in the backyard, but being met by silence from the two of them wasn’t exactly what she had in mind either.

“You want to get married where Daddy and Trina did?” Kitty finally asks, breaking the silence. “That’s what the two of you decided on?”

Lara Jean shrugs uncomfortably. “I mean, we’re still touring other venues,” She says meekly. “But the backyard has so many good memories for Peter and I, and we thought maybe it would be romantic to go back to where everything kind of began.”

“Technically this go around started at the bakery,” Kitty smirks, apologizing quietly when Margot chastises her.

“The backyard is very pretty, Lara Jean,” Margot begins, shifting her attention to her other sister. “And we know it can hold a lot of people and it looks really good for a wedding with some decorating.”

“Why do you guys both seem like you don’t think getting married in the backyard is a good idea?”

Kitty and Margot share a glance towards each other. Lara Jean chews on the inside of her lip.

“I guess maybe we just thought you and Peter would want to get married somewhere that didn’t already have wedding memories attached to it,” Margot says quietly. Kitty nods in agreement.

Lara Jean takes a bite of her rice, mulling over her sister’s words for a moment. “Well, most people that would be at our wedding weren’t at Daddy and Trina’s,” She argues. “And we could always use different decorations than Daddy and Trina so it would look completely different.”

“Lara Jean, if that’s where you and Peter want to get married then you shouldn’t worry about what Kitty or I think about it.”

“But I do,” Lara Jean whines, pouting as she takes another bite of her dinner. “We want this wedding to be perfect.”

“And it will be!” Margot says enthusiastically, the smile on her face broadening. “Wherever you two decide to get married, it will be perfect.”

“And we can definitely make the backyard look really magical, Lara Jean. Promise,” Kitty adds.

Their enthusiastic smiles are mostly a facade that Lara Jean sees right through, but she chooses to decide that her sisters will somehow just get on board with the thought of throwing another wedding in the backyard of their childhood home.

_______________________________

Gabe and Chris plan an extravagant engagement party for a Saturday night at the beginning of the summer, which Kitty and Margot swear they know nothing about.

Ravi was stuck working on an extra project for work and can’t come to the second engagement party, which selfishly Lara Jean is happy about because it gives her some time with just her sister’s while Peter is dropping Emmi off at his mom’s for the night.

It feels a lot like they’re all back living under one roof. When the biggest drama was stealing each other’s clothes or being too loud or purposefully annoying to each other. Only now Margot lives in North Carolina and Lara Jean is getting married and Kitty is still somehow the life of the party despite being only 21.

“Peter is going to die when he sees you in that dress,” Margot smiles, expertly applying her eyeliner.

“We’re at his place. He’s seen the dress.”

“Yes, but not on,” Margot counters, earning an eye roll from both Lara Jean and Kitty. “Whatever, I know you liked our elegant party, but I think this one will be more fun.”

Lara Jean doesn’t say that big parties like this have always made her a little uncomfortable. That she’d much rather have one of those elegant parties like she had with their family and close friends a few weeks prior. Because if there’s one thing she’s learned in this whole dating and relationship thing, it’s that it’s a lot of give and take.

And this engagement party on a rooftop of the bar is _definitely_ right up Peter’s alley.

So she’s learning to compromise. To make the most of both situations and have a good time tonight despite wanting nothing more than to curl up on the sofa in one of Peter’s sweatshirts against his side and watch a movie with him after they’ve put Emmi to bed.

Their conversation about the wedding being in the backyard had mostly dissipated over the last few days. Margot apologized the next time they FaceTimed, insisting that the wedding would look completely different to Daddy and Trina’s and she couldn’t wait to help plan how they could decorate the space as long as that’s where they decide that they really want to get married.

Lara Jean feels a lot better about it, Peter reassures her that it’ll be completely different, and although they did end up loving some of the other venues they had toured, nothing had compared to her childhood home.

And so they make tentative plans with Daddy and Trina to discuss when would work best, and somehow even just the smallest of things checked off her list makes her feel a little bit better about where they are in the planning.

“Have you given it anymore thought about hiring a wedding planner?” Margot asks as she finishes her makeup, moving on to work on her hair. “I know you want to do this yourself, but you’re already pretty stressed out.”

Lara Jean focuses on applying her lipstick, sighing. “Peter brought it up, too,” She admits, looking at Margot through the mirror. “I think we’re going to look into one. At least to help us find vendors and work on invitations and things. I want to do everything, but,” She pauses, turning to where Margot is sitting on Peter’s bed, “I just don’t think we have the time.”

Margot has never been one to hide her feelings about things. It’s a blessing and a curse, Lara Jean knows, but it feels a lot more like a blessing when her lips curl up into a smile and she nods immediately.

“I think you’re making the right decision,” Margot nods. “You’ll still get a lot of input about what you want and what you like, but it’ll take the pressure off of you.”

Lara Jean nods idly, curling her hair and expertly braiding a piece in the front, smiling at Peter through the mirror when he and Owen appear in the doorway.

“Not to rush the three of you, but we have to get going soon if we’re not going to be embarrassingly late.”

“You don’t have to worry about getting ready, Peter,” Margot sings, but leans up to kiss him on the cheek on her way by anyway. “We’ll be ready soon.”

Lara Jean finishes her hair, putting a few bobby pins in place before standing up and walking to where Peter was looking for his clothes in his closet. “Are you excited for tonight?” She asks, pressing herself against his back, lips brushing against his bare shoulder.

Peter smiles, pulling a shirt from his hanger as he turns around to face her. “I am. Are you?”

Lara Jean smiles, perching up on her tip toes to kiss him. “I am, even if this whole bar thing isn’t my scene.”

“We’ll have a good time,” He promises, letting his lips linger on hers a little while longer before he pulls away. “We have to get ready,” He says softly, kissing her again just for good measure before moving to start changing.

Lara Jean walks back out of the closet, grabbing her dress from the hanger and slipping into it, fixing her hair one final time.

Even if she was a little apprehensive about an out of control engagement party, she was going to look amazing while being there, and that had to count for something.

_______________________________

The bass of the music reverberates through Lara Jean’s body where she stands by the bar nursing her third drink of the night.

The party, which was mostly filled with friends from high school and a few from Peter’s college lacrosse team and Lara Jean’s friends at the bakery, hasn’t been all that bad. Lara Jean settled in after a while, proudly showing off her ring to anyone who asked while she sipped on her vodka cranberry, Peter pressed close to her side.

Peter, slightly drunk himself, had been coerced into a game of pool by Darrell and Gabe. Lara Jean smiles, leans up to peck him on the lips, and promises that she’ll just hang out by the bar while he plays, and that she’s more than fine.

She talks to Lucas for a while, who came home from New York City for the weekend with his boyfriend to celebrate the occasion, arms wrapping around Lara Jean when he finds her alone. “I can’t believe you and Peter Kavinsky are getting married!”

Lara Jean laughs, squeezing him gently. “I know. It’s kind of crazy, huh?”

“You two are perfect for each other though, Covey,” Lucas smiles. “I’m really glad you two found each other again.”

“Me too,” She nods. They spend a few minutes catching up, talking about his life in New York and how they must come visit when they have time, and Lara Jean finds that maybe this party wasn’t all that out of her comfort zone at all.

When Lucas gets pulled away by his boyfriend to dance Chris finds her, smile on her face and a drink in her hand, eyes slightly glazed over. “Having a good time?”

Lara Jean smiles, taking a sip of her drink. “I am,” She nods, not at all feeling like she’s lying about it. “Thank you so much for throwing this. I can’t believe you even got back in touch with some of these people.”

Chris shrugs, setting her now empty glass down on the bar. “Turns out Gabe is in touch with everyone from high school. He was very useful when it came to inviting people,” She beams.

Lara Jean laughs, finishing off her drink and setting it down on the bar alongside Chris’. “Well thank you to both of you. We’re having a really good time,” She promises, even if the alcohol is setting in and her slightly hazy mind is still well aware that she’s going to have a hangover the following morning.

Chris is pulled away from their short conversation by Pammy, who says that Gabe needs her for the cake, and suddenly she’s alone again, scanning the room and watching the guests that were all there for her enjoy themselves.

She finds Owen and Kitty, hidden back in the corner on the opposite side of the bar sipping on their drinks. Lara Jean finds it hard to fathom that they’re old enough to be at this party, let alone old enough to drink. She can remember back to when they were in middle school and she and Peter joined forces to make sure they became friends.

Now they’re grown and college kids and closer than ever, and Lara Jean is more than willing to blame the alcohol in her system for the fact that she feels like she’s going to cry.

“Hey, Gabe said they want us to come take pictures with the cake so they can cut it,” Peter smiles, leaning in front of her. “You okay?”

Lara Jean looks up at him, nodding quickly and smiling. “Yeah, of course,” She nods. Kisses him for good measure. “I just… can you believe that Kitty and Owen are old enough to be here and _drink_?”

Peter’s eyes flash from concern to amusement, lips brushing against her hairline. “You’ve had quite a few drinks,” He smirks, watching her twirl her cup in her hand.

“They’re so old now, Peter! We’re not babies anymore. _They’re_ not babies anymore!”

“They’re not,” He nods, reaching out for her free hand, interlacing their fingers together. “Come on, you can cry about our siblings being grown more after we take pictures and cut the cake.”

—

Margot takes a million pictures, directs them into kissing or holding the knife together or actually cutting into the cake. Peter laughs when Kitty reminds her older sister that it’s not their wedding, that this really isn’t that big of a deal, and then obnoxiously kisses Lara Jean anyway just to annoy Kitty further.

They dance with their friends well into the night, until things begin to wind down and everyone sends their well wishes to Peter and Lara Jean, making comments about how somehow they always knew they’d end up together in the end. Lara Jean presses herself into Peter’s side, head resting against his upper arm as she says goodbye to friends she wished she’d stayed in touch with when she moved to UNC all those years ago.

Chris and Gabe help the waiters pack up the leftover cake and appetizers, the music turning down as Lara Jean sips on the water Peter sweet talked the bartender into giving her even though he had been cleaning up.

Margot, Kitty and Owen helped organize the gifts and get them into bags so they could get them home, Peter helping sporadically while Lara Jean allows her input to be heard. “They’re all going to have to be sorted through anyway,” She had argued when Peter and Margot butt heads about where to store things. “Just take them all to my place and we can sit and go through them together.”

They agree, and after everything is clean and stored and in their proper bags, Peter takes Lara Jean’s hand as they walk out to the Uber.

Too tired and drunk to protest, the siblings all crash at Peter’s place. Kitty and Margot agree to take the pull-out couch, and reluctantly Owen agrees that he’ll sleep in Emmi’s room, which earns a laugh from Kitty when she thinks about how he’s going to squeeze into his niece’s bed.

“It’s an adult-sized bed, Kitty,” Owen says weakly, smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “It’s just a twin bed. I’ll live.”

“It’s cute decor for you to crash in,” Kitty smiles, and from their spots next to each other Kitty and Owen nudge elbows, both laughing quietly. “Princess theme really suits you.”

“I hate you,” He says quietly, but they’re both laughing and Lara Jean squeezes Peter’s hand, sharing a smile with him as they listen to their younger siblings argue.

Everyone disperses when they arrive back at Peter’s, the bags of gifts left by the door and the cake stored in the fridge. Lara Jean goes to Peter’s bathroom to wipe her makeup off and throw on one of his old t-shirts, Kitty takes the hall bath to get changed herself, and Margot helps Peter make the pull-out couch for she and Kitty.

He says his goodnights to Margot, the alcohol still flowing through his system as he walks down the hallway, pausing outside of Emmi’s door out of habit.

He stops himself before he opens it, leaning against the wall at the hushed chatter coming from Kitty and Owen on the other side. They’re laughing, voices just above a murmur as they talk to each other. Peter thinks about opening it and saying goodnight, embarrassing them a little bit, but somehow he stops himself.

He makes his way down to his bedroom, where Lara Jean is sprawled out on her side of the bed, hair splayed against the white sheet. He smiles, stripping himself out of his nice clothes and falling into bed beside her.

In an instant she’s pulling herself against him, lips brushing against his bare chest as his fingers trace patterns against her arm. “We need to thank Chris and Gabe for throwing this party,” She says lazily, breath warm against his skin.

“We did, like a million times,” He laughs quietly, chin resting on top of her head.

“Okay, well we have to do it again.”

Peter nods, kissing her hair. It’s silent in his room, the apartment has mostly quieted down, and faintly he thinks he can hear the door to Emmi’s room click shut and feet quietly pad down the hallway.

“Hey, do you think something is going on between Owen and Kitty?” He asks quietly. He doesn’t know if Lara Jean is asleep — he half thinks she is when she doesn’t answer right away — and then she takes a deep breath.

“What?” She says quietly, voice raspy. “Do you think there is?”

“No,” Peter says immediately. Then sighs. “I don’t know. They were in Emmi’s room laughing together when I came to bed, and they were pretty close all night.”

“They only knew each other,” Lara Jean says quietly. “I mean, maybe there’s something going on. Do you think Kitty went to share a bed with Margot?”

“I think I heard her,” Peter nods. “I mean, they’re not going to fit in Em’s bed together.”

Lara Jean nods, snuggling further against his side. “Maybe there is something going on,” She yawns, “But they’d tell us.”

Peter doesn’t believe that, but the clock ticks closer to 1am and Lara Jean is half asleep against him, and so he just nods. “You’re right,” He agrees, kissing the top of her head. “I love you.”

“Love you too,” She mumbles, and slowly Peter drifts off to sleep praying he doesn’t have a hangover the following morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> umm you guys continue to blow me away with the response to the first chapter BYE i'm so glad you guys enjoyed it and hopefully you'll continue enjoying it! there will be some normal moments mixed in with wedding planning, so it won't all be wedding heavy even though that is the major theme :)
> 
> thank you guys SO much for reading/taking the time to comment <3
> 
> more should be up on friday! 
> 
> title of the chapter is from perfect by ed sheeran :) <3 <3 <3


	3. cause I know I got what I need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lara Jean and Peter set a wedding date, have some family time, ask Emmi an important question and discuss guest lists.

Mina is nothing if not organized.

Jenna’s sister Hayley had recommended her to Lara Jean when she heard she was interested in at least talking to a few wedding planners. Lara Jean was apprehensive, but spent one night looking at her website and reviews and samples of weddings she’d worked on and ultimately decided that one meeting wouldn’t hurt.

Peter went with her, the two of them immediately felt at ease with how she would help plan the wedding and organize all the details that were currently scattered between the wedding planning book Margot gave them and the Pinterest board Lara Jean had started the day after Peter proposed.

So ultimately they gave in, hiring Mina and immediately feeling a million times less stressed about the fact that they needed to plan an entire wedding.

They drove back home for a weekend when Lara Jean didn’t have as many special orders, letting Emmi run free in the backyard while they sat on the patio sipping drinks and looking at a calendar. Mrs. Kavinsky had come over to join them, catching up with the Coveys and listening to the debate about when they should have the wedding take place.

“I don’t want to do it in the winter, obviously,” Lara Jean mumbles, flipping through the calendar until she’s safely out of the territory where snow could still fall.

“I think your safe bet would probably be early summer or mid-spring,” Trina steps in, realizing Lara Jean is feeling a little in over her head. “Like around now. It doesn’t rain much, it’s warm but not too humid, and it won’t be so uncomfortable outside when the sun is still up during the ceremony. You wait until mid-summer and everyone will be miserable and sticky. But now is a safe bet that it won’t be too uncomfortable.”

Lara Jean nods, looking through the dates on the calendar while Peter flips through his phone. “Does that work for you? I mean, more for Emmi,” Lara Jean asks. Emmi runs across the backyard with a soccer ball, Lara Jean clapping when it makes it in the goal.

Peter nods, attention shifting back to his fiancé. “I mean, not to say that Emmi won’t have a million things going on, but we can reschedule them. Six year old schedules are very flexible a year out,” He smiles. “If that’s what sounds good to you, then let’s go for it.”

Lara Jean’s apprehensive look turns into a smile, looking through the calendar one final time before turning back to her dad. “Friday or Saturday?”

“Saturday would be better. We’d have all day to finish setting up, and it’s easier for people to get here.”

“Then June 18?”

Peter smiles, reaching over to squeeze her hand. “June 18 it is,” He nods. “Less than a year to go.”

And somehow, Lara Jean manages to keep the smile plastered on her face despite the panic she now feels knowing they have less than a year to finish planning everything that goes into a wedding.

_______________________________

The bakery is crowded enough for an evening that Peter almost just texts Lara Jean and says that they’ll meet her at home with dinner.

And then Jenna sees them, smiling and waving them in when she’s in between customers. “I’ll tell her you’re here in a minute, but if you can find a place to sit go ahead,” She smiles, shifting her attention to Em. “Em, pick out a treat so I can tell Lara Jean which one to bring to you.”

“Jenna —“

“It’s Friday, Peter,” Jenna smiles. “Let her have a little treat. For making it through the week. Which I think we all need,” Her attention moves back to the customer standing in front of her before Peter has a chance to argue.

And so Peter relents, looking down at his daughter who’s hand is firmly rest in his, nodding as he gestures towards the display case from beside the line so they’re not in the way.

Emmi picks a cookie from the bottom shelf of the display case, she and Peter find a spot in the back corner of the bakery where a small family had been beside them talking about their days, and Emmi pushes her hair back away from her face, swinging her legs underneath the table.

“We played tag at camp today, Daddy,” Emmi smiles, leaning forward to rest her elbows on the table. “I was it a lot of times, but I ran really fast and got everyone out.”

“That’s my kiddo,” Peter smiles, leaning forward to ruffle her hair. “What do you want to do this weekend?”

“Watch a movie?” She asks, perking up a little bit when she says it. Peter rolls his eyes, looking out onto the city with the setting sun and people out in the nice weather, shifting his attention back to his daughter.

“You don’t want to hang out outside for a while?” He asks, setting his phone down. “The weather is so nice and you don’t have any sports going on. Maybe we could go down to the pool?”

“Yes!” Emmi says immediately, ducking her head when she realizes that she said it too loud. “Can we please go to the pool all weekend?”

“We can,” He nods, glancing back over to see if Lara Jean was coming.

“Daddy, when are you and Lara Jean getting married?” Emmi asks, breaking his trance as he shifts back to look at her.

“Next spring. A little less than a year from now.”

“That’s a long time away,” She pouts, sighing. “You can’t do it sooner?”

Peter laughs, thinking about saying that he wishes they could. But he knows it would only confuse her and so he shakes his head, tapping on her fingers against the table. “We have a lot to plan before we can get married, so it can’t be any sooner. But I promise it’ll be worth it and you’re going to have the best time at the wedding.”

Emmi thinks about it for a moment, nodding and smiling. “Okay. You promise I get to come?”

Peter smiles, tilting his head as he leans forward. “You think I could get married without my favorite girl there?” He asks, which make Emmi laugh as her head falls onto the table, finally lifting it to shake her head.

When Lara Jean does appear she’s holding two coffees and a cookie for Emmi, kissing Peter quickly and kissing the top of Emmi’s head before she sits down in the chair Peter reserved for her. “Sorry, things are clearly crazy here and I was finishing up a few last minute orders for tonight. A lot of weddings this time of year.”

“I thought about leaving and just telling you you could come over because I know it’s probably insane here, but Jenna saw us before I could turn around.”

“You know I’m happy you’re here,” She smiles, taking a sip of her coffee. “I took off on Sunday. Mina sent over mock designs for save the dates and she said we have to pick by Wednesday so we can get them all sent out. Which means we also have to talk about guest list and how many people we really want there to celebrate.”

Just hearing that is enough to make Peter feel stressed out about the next steps in the whole planning process, but he manages to nod anyway. “Yeah, okay. We can do that then,” He says, glancing at Emmi. “I did promise this kid a weekend at the pool though.”

Lara Jean smiles, taking another sip of her coffee. “You make me the best daiquiri you can and we will absolutely make these decisions by the pool. Maybe it’ll feel a little more tropical,” She smirks. “Like we’re on vacation.”

“You know, we could go on a vacation together…”

Lara Jean puts her hand up, stopping him. “Let me get through Fourth of July first,” She says, sighing. “I have so many special orders these next few weeks that the thought of going anywhere that’s too far away is anxiety-inducing. We will take a vacation before the end of the summer, but just… I need some time.”

Peter nods immediately, agreeing that their vacation can wait and it’s only the beginning of summer so they have plenty of time. And as they sit there and sip on their coffee and Emmi eats her treat, the bakery slowly begins to calm down and the patrons begin to leave and Peter swears he can see the stress leave Lara Jean’s body when the last customer leaves and Jenna moves to change the sign to closed so they can begin cleaning up.

“I’m going to go home and get started on dinner,” Peter announces when Emmi has long finished her cookie and has been playing games on his phone. “Any requests?”

“Any thing that isn’t sweet,” Lara Jean says, a smile on her face. “Chicken maybe? On the grill?” She asks, standing up and moving the chair back to where it belonged in the store.

Peter smiles, ducking down to kiss her as he rests his hand on the small of her back. “Okay, we can do that,” He nods, nudging Emmi to get her ready to leave. “We’ll see you soon?”

“As soon as I’m done cleaning up,” She promises, kissing him again. “I love you.”

“Love you too.”

“Love you, Em!” Lara Jean says, rubbing Emmi’s head. “See you soon.”

“Love you, Lara Jean,” She smiles, hugging her quickly before taking Peter’s hand, the two of them setting off towards home.

_______________________________

In an odd enough way, looking through save the date options by the pool is far more relaxing than Lara Jean thought it would be.

Peter is halfway between awake and asleep in the lounge chair next to her, Emmi has found friends in their apartment building and is safely playing in the shallow end in front of them, and the daiquiri in her hand that Peter made her before they came down is oddly satisfying despite the fact that she’s still feeling a little stressed at all the orders she has to fill for work as well as trying to plan this wedding.

“Babe, did you want to look through these with me?” She asks once they’ve loaded, watching as Peter pulls his himself to be able to see the screen, looking through the few designs Mina had emailed over. “She thinks that maybe at least showing the ring and a picture from the engagement party at your moms is cute, but I also really like this simple design,” She says, scrolling through the cards.

“What if we combined the two?” He offers, looking over at Lara Jean as she scrolls down to find the option that combined both. “I feel like that is the most us. It’s not all that flashy, but it still shows off the ring and it goes with the kind of theme were going for in this wedding.”

Lara Jean nods, studying all the cards again before she agrees with Peter. “You don’t think showing off the ring is too like… in your face? I mean, we’re not showing ourselves in the picture, it’s just our hands.”

“Lara Jean,” Peter deadpans, moving to lean up on his elbow. “We _are_ getting married. People are going to be expecting to see your ring. I don’t think it’s too in your face to show it on our save the date invitations.”

Lara Jean ducks her head, a smile creeping on her face as she nods, moving to email Mina back with their final decision. “I guess I’m just not used to being in your face about things.”

“It’s not in your face when you’re getting married,” He smiles, leaning over to kiss her. “Anything else we need to choose today?”

“Guest list and wedding parties.”

“When Emmi’s in bed,” Peter compromises, which Lara Jean immediately agrees to and sets her laptop back in her bag, laying down on her lounge chair.

Her eyes are closed when Emmi arrives to stand between them, bathing suit dripping onto the concrete. “Daddy, can I go off the diving board with Emma and Ryan?” She asks, and so Lara Jean opens her eyes to see Peter sitting up, sighing.

“Are you too tired to do it? I don’t want anything to happen to you if I don’t come in.”

“I’m not too tired! I can do it, Daddy. I promise I can,” She nods, and so Peter sighs, looking over to where her two friends were already waiting by the diving board for her to come over.

“What are you going to do when you hit the water?”

“Push myself back up and kick my legs until I get to the ladder.”

Peter nods, looking back to the diving board before turning back to his daughter. “Okay fine, you can go.”

Emmi smiles, walking quickly off to be with her friends as Peter moves to sit on the edge of his chair, the fear that maybe something will go wrong still at the forefront of his mind.

“She really can jump off the diving board at 5 years old?” Lara Jean asks quietly, moving to sit beside him.

Peter nods, eyes still trained on the pool while Emma jumps off first. “Juliet and I put her in swim lessons when she was 6 months old,” He says idly. “It’s like… it’s the one good thing we did together as a team. We lived in an apartment building with a pool and so we both thought the little extra money we had should go to swim lessons so she wouldn’t be afraid of the water and we wouldn’t have to worry about her when we went down to the pool as she got older.”

“But you still worry.”

“Well, yeah,” Peter smiles. “I mean, she’s my kid. And she’s still only 5, and those swim lessons she was in for years gave her this terrible sense of confidence that she can do it all because she knows how to swim. But she still gets tired, and she for the most part doesn’t think she is.”

Ryan jumps off, Peter sits up a little straighter. Lara Jean rubs at his bare back, a lame attempt to calm him down when she was pretty tense herself. “She sounds a lot like her dad.”

“She is,” Peter laughs quietly. And watches as Emmi carefully climbs the ladder to the diving board, tiny hands gripping the handles for dear life.

But Emmi walks to the edge of the board confidently and looks over, waving to where Peter and Lara Jean are sitting before she pokes her toes over the edge, jumping off without hesitation.

Peter holds his breath for a moment until Emmi’s head pokes above the water, smiling before she kicks her way to the ladder. Her giggles are heard around the pool, where her friends are waiting for her at the top of the ladder as she turns back to where her dad is sitting.

“Again?”

“Go,” Peter nods, and suddenly he looks a little bit more relaxed.

“Is she talented at everything because she’s your daughter?” Lara Jean asks, making Peter laugh as he shakes his head.

“I don’t think I can take credit for her being a little fish. She’s better than I ever was at her age,” He argues, “But I can say that she does get a lot of her stellar qualities from me.”

Lara Jean laughs, kissing his shoulder before he turns to kiss her softly. “You always were modest, Kavinsky.”

“I do my best, Covey,” He smirks, kissing her again.

There’s a million other things they need to get done, things they have to do to stay on track and make sure they have everything ready to stay on track, but right now laying in the sun with her fiancé watching his daughter play with her friends is more important.

_______________________________

On Tuesday night when Lara Jean arrives at Peter’s house from work, she’s holding six individually wrapped cookies. Peter looks at them, eyebrows furrowed when she sets them on the counter.

“I was on Pinterest last night and saw the cute ways you could ask your bridesmaids to be your bridesmaids,” She begins, moving to the sink to wash her hands. “And according to Mina we should have that all figured out already. So like, we’re behind on that.”

“I already know who I’m going to ask,” Peter says confidently, leaving a kiss on the side of Lara Jean’s head as he turns back to finish making dinner. “And I’m not making them little gifts to ask.”

“You’re _not_ texting them,” She says. Fear flashes across her eyes, and she looks back. “Are you?”

Peter smiles, shrugging his shoulders as he browns the meat. “Is it wrong?”

“Peter!” Lara Jean exclaims, hitting his back. “Please don’t text them. At least call.”

“Okay, okay,” Peter nods laughing when Lara Jean relaxes and moves to help him get the sides ready for dinner.

“Ooh, cookies!” Emmi runs into the kitchen, hair wet from a bath as she perches up on her tip toes.

“Em, no,” Peter says quickly, watching Emmi retract her hands quickly. “They’re not for you.”

“There _is_ one for you,” Lara Jean counters, turning towards Emmi. “But you can’t have it until after we eat.”

Emmi pouts for a moment, falling back onto her heels as she sighs. “Fine. But can I know what they say?”

Lara Jean smiles, shaking her head. “It would ruin the surprise! I promise you’ll know right when we’re done dinner.”

“Em, can you go clean up your toys before dinner please?” Peter asks, watching Emmi nod as she turns around and runs to the other room.

Peter walks over to the cookies, lifting one out of the bag before Lara Jean can stop him. “It’d be sweet if you were my bridesmaid?” He reads, laughing when he looks back at his fiancé. “Seriously, babe?”

“You aren’t allowed to make fun of it now!” She whines, taking the cookie from his hand and putting it back. “It’s cute!”

“It is cute,” He nods, finishing off dinner. “And also a little cheesy. But totally up your alley.”

“Emmi’s asks her to be our flower girl,” She smiles, which Peter lights up at and nods.

“Who’s going to be your best man?”

“Owen,” Peter replies immediately, shrugging. “And then I’m going to ask Gabe and Darrell and then Mark and Jake from lacrosse at UVA,” He says as she nods.

“Who’s going to be your maid of honor? I mean, it’s not a given for you.”

Lara Jean sighs, looking over to Peter as she tosses the salad in the bowl. “I don’t know. We’ve always said we’d just go down the line, so Kitty would be it,” She says. “And Margot is so far away, and I know they’re trying to have a kid and I just don’t want her to feel like she needs to drive up here all the time when I need her to help plan things.”

“I don’t think Margot would be upset if you pick Kitty,” Peter comforts her. “As long as she’s in the wedding.”

“She’d be a bridesmaid, for sure,” She says, looking back to Peter. “And then Chris, obviously. And Jenna and Zoe from work since we went to school together.”

Peter nods, the smile on his face growing wider. “All we have to do now is figure out the guest list.”

“After dinner,” Lara Jean deadpans, setting the salad in the middle of the table and calling Emmi out for dinner.

Emmi hasn’t forgotten about the cookie waiting for her, inhaling her dinner at such a rapid pace that Peter has to remind her three times to slow down or she’s going to choke on her food, but she only half listens and eventually her plate is clean.

“Can I please have one of the cookies now?” She asks, using her napkin to wipe at her mouth. “I ate all my dinner!”

“Yeah, and you almost gave me a heart attack doing it,” Peter says, sighing. “Let me finish my dinner and then you can have one. Can you sit patiently? Maybe tell us about camp today.”

“We did arts and crafts. I made a dino thing out of plates that Miss Marlie said I could bring home at the end of the week because they’re on display right now,” Emmi rattles off, legs swinging underneath the table. “Zack tried to trade me his pickles for my Cheez-Its at lunch,” She wrinkles her nose and Lara Jean laughs.

“Not a fair trade, peanut?” She smiles, Emmi immediately shaking her head.

“I like pickles, but Cheez-Its are better,” She says, looking between both of their plates. “You’re both done your dinners now. Can I _please_ have the cookie?”

“Emmi,” Peter sighs, running his fingers through his hair. “Patience.”

Emmi huffs, leaning back in her chair. “Okay, okay.”

Peter carries all of their plates over to the sink while Lara Jean digs through, finding Emmi’s cookie. “She’s 5, baby. Patience isn’t their strong suit.”

“She’s killing me,” He mumbles, but leans in to kiss Lara Jean anyway as they walk back to the table.

“Now, before you go eating this you need to read what the cookie says,” Lara Jean says, setting the cookie out on a plate in front of Emmi.

Emmi nods, leaning forward and slowly reading the cookie out loud. “It would be sweet if you were our flower girl?” She says, looking up at the two of them. Lara Jean smiles, watching as it takes a moment before it clicks in her brain. “I get to be in the wedding?!”

“You really thought we’d get married without our favorite person being in it?” Peter smiles, leaning over to pull Emmi into his lap. “So, will you be our flower girl?”

“Yes!” She exclaims, squeezing his cheeks together before she leans forward, kissing him. She reaches out for Lara Jean, giving her a kiss before she wiggles to move back to her seat and eat her cookie.

“Okay, so we have a flower girl,” Lara Jean laughs, kissing Peter as well as they sit with Emmi.

And at least that went over better than Lara Jean could’ve ever prepared for.

_______________________________

Picking a guest list for a wedding turns out to be much harder than Lara Jean and Peter both expected.

While Peter had been insanely popular in high school or college, he found it easy to weed out people he didn’t think needed to be invited. Lara Jean mostly stuck to close friends from school and a few from college she was still in touch with, and then they weeded through coworkers and invited as many as they felt necessary.

But they found inviting family the most difficult. Lara Jean knew she needed to invite almost everyone, and for the most part Peter felt the same. They worked through each family, decided if they would invite the kids or if it would just be their parents, and by the time they were done they found they had a little extra room should they need it.

Lara Jean looked towards Peter when they finished, biting her lip. “Do you want to invite your dad?”

It was a subject she’d been steering clear of for weeks. Months even. From the moment he proposed or they had talked about getting engaged Lara Jean knew it was going to have to come up. And if she was honest, she didn’t even know what their relationship was like now. She tended to steer clear of the conversation as a whole.

And looking at Peter now, she feels like she knows the answer more now without him even saying anything. “Lara Jean,” He sighs. And then doesn’t go on.

“When’s the last time you saw him?”

Peter sighs, leaning back against the back of the sofa. “Almost three years ago. I invited him to Emmi’s birthday. The first one after Juliet left.”

“So he’s met her?”  
Peter nods. “I… look. He wasn’t a great dad to me. There are a million things I could think of that he could’ve done better, but at the end of the day Emmi is his grandchild. And I thought maybe he could be a better granddad to her than he was a dad to me. And maybe he and I could’ve worked things out for Emmi’s sake. So at least if she didn’t have a mom she’d have two grandparents that she knew loved her as much as I love her.”

He pauses. Lara Jean leans back, resting her head on his shoulder. “And he was great with her. Played with her outside, brought her a gift that was surprisingly exactly what she would’ve wanted had he been around her her whole life. But when she went down for a nap and he and I sat outside sharing a beer with him as if we had this normal father-son relationship, I realized he was exactly the same guy that left in high school and tried to guilt trip me and blame me and my mom for him leaving.”

“I’m sorry, Peter,” She says quietly.

Peter just shrugs. “I mean, you didn’t mean to make me upset. I should’ve told you. I just… I didn’t know how to bring it up. And it’s not just this lighthearted thing that I can say and be done with it. You know _everything_.”

“I didn’t know that you’ve seen him since we broke up in college, though. I didn’t know that you tried to salvage a relationship, that you tried to be an adult,” She says quickly. She reaches for his hand, interlacing their fingers and squeezing. “Peter, you did an incredible thing. A thing that I don’t know if I could’ve done. And it didn’t work, and if you don’t want him at our wedding than you shouldn’t have to invite him.”

“I feel like it’s wrong to not have him there though,” He says, pain etched through his voice. “I don’t know why I care so much. Why I think that he’ll even show up. I don’t know why I let what I think he’ll feel dictate if I invite him or not.”

Lara Jean nods, letting the words linger in the air for a moment before she responds. “Well, we have the extra seats. Inviting him would not be excluding anyone we know and love and want there celebrating with us. So it’s up to you. We invite him and give him a chance to redeem himself and come, or we let it go and not have him there. But I cannot help you with this decision.”

Peter nods, pulling out his phone and texting his mom while Lara Jean watches. “You might not be able to help, but she can.”

“Peter,” Lara Jean says softly, but she’s smiling and Peter can’t help but laugh as his mom texts back.

“She says that while it’s entirely up to me, she doesn’t want me to be disappointed if he RSVPs yes and then doesn’t show up on the day or if he says no at all or doesn’t even answer. Which I’ve already prepared myself for. They’re civil enough with each other. Also she would just avoid him at the wedding,” He shrugs, which makes Lara Jean laugh.

“So are we saying yes to this then?” She asks, lifting her head to look over at him.

Peter takes a deep breath, nodding. “Yeah, we’re saying yes,” He nods.

And so Lara Jean writes it down, sending it off to Mina after one final check from the two of them to make sure they got everyone.

Peter just hopes he didn’t make a mistake that’s going to ruin their wedding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guys seriously thank you so so much for how much you love this fic and this whole little universe! i'm consistently blown away by it all haha. 
> 
> there will be some drama coming (people asked for there to be a little more in this fic, so it'll happen!) but i promise there will still be some good old-fashioned family moments :)
> 
> more soooon :)
> 
> the title of the chapter is from First Try by Johnnyswim (who fair warning will probably be used a lot for this fic haha)


	4. I get to be the other half of you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter gets an unexpected email, Lara Jean chooses her wedding dress, and they make more wedding decisions

Peter doesn’t look at his email over the weekend.

It’s been a thing of his since Juliet left. The weekends were dedicated to Emmi, showering her with attention and making sure her needs were met which, frankly, he neglected throughout the week when the best he could do was make sure they were both fed, homework was done, and Emmi was healthy.

His coworkers know if it’s an emergency they can text him, and his Monday mornings will be spent catching up on emails sent over the weekend.

This Monday is no different, and after the initial frazzled brain is remedied by a cup of coffee after barely getting Emmi out the door and to camp on time, Peter sits down to sift through the emails sent to him on the two days he stepped away.

There’s a few from clients, ones that he stars to check back in on and others he replies to immediately. There’s a few prospective clients, a few spam emails, and then one from a familiar name Peter thought he’d never hear from again.

_Juliet Brown - Hello_

He thinks he’s hallucinating for a minute. He hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before, Emmi up with a half stuffed nose and wanting to sleep with him because she wasn’t feeling great. He scrolls past it, answers other emails, starring others, and then lands back on it again.

He’s not hallucinating. His ex-girlfriend and the mother of his child has emailed him at work. After almost four years of no contact.

He looks around, a few coworkers trickling in and saying their good mornings, and then decides that he’s going to have to read it eventually.

And so he clicks it, switching to another tab for a few minutes as he works up the nerve to actually read what she has to say and why she’s getting in touch in the first place.

_Hello Peter,_

_I’m sure you’re as surprised to see this email in your inbox as I am to be writing it. It’s been years since we’ve spoken, and I guess lately I’ve been wondering how you are. And how Emmi has been doing._

_I’d love to meet up for lunch sometime if you’re ever free. I noticed you live back closer to home. It’s not too far from where I’ve been living. We could meet up closer to you if it works out better, I would be more than willing to drive up there._

_If you don’t answer this and never want to see me again, I’d understand. Just know that there was a lot that went into my decision to leave that night and I’d like to be able to talk through it with you if you’d give me a chance._

_Hope to hear from you soon._

_Jules_

He reads the email once. Then twice. And then again just for good measure. It’s like he can’t quite believe his eyes, the email he’s been reading all morning when there’s tasks waiting for him and a meeting looming in the next half hour. It’s not how he thought he’d start this Monday or any Monday at all, and now he has a decision to make.

He closes the email without replying, moving on to preparing for the meeting and at least getting a business proposal edited before then. He’s thought about texting Lara Jean a handful of times, asking her what he’s supposed to do, but he knows it would only cause unnecessary worry when it’s conveyed over text.

He barely makes it through his meeting, throwing in comments whenever possible and taking measly notes he’ll need to decipher later. His mind floats back to Juliet, what she could possibly want after years of not even attempting to find him or check in on their daughter.

If she wants money. If she’s dying. If she’s going to fight for custody of Emmi again.

He steps out of the office for a minute, dialing his mom’s work number and pacing until she answers, voice quiet and floating through the somewhat quiet shop.

“Juliet emailed me.”

“What?” His mom says, almost as if he’s breaking up or she can’t quite understand what he said. “What did she say? Does she have a motive?”

“I don’t know,” Peter says quietly, smiling at a woman walking down the hall. “All she said was that she’d love to meet for lunch and explain what happened when she left. And I don’t know if I want to hear that now. She’s been wondering how we are, but she didn’t care the last three years?”

His mom sighs, Peter runs his fingers through his hair, and the call he thought would give him all the answers suddenly makes him feel a million times worse. “I think you need to decide if you want to see her. Did it sound like she wanted anything more than to talk?”

“No,” Peter says immediately. “She said she wouldn’t hate me if I just ignored her email and forgot all about it.”

“Yeah, but you’d die wanting to know what she said.”

Peter chews on the inside of his lip. “I guess I just want to hear her lame attempts to explain why she’s doing this.”

His mom goes silent for a moment, a sign that Peter knows means she’s thinking about things, and then she sighs. “I think if you believe it’s going to eat away at you, then meet her for lunch. Do not bring Emmi, don’t even tell Emmi about it. It’ll bring up more questions that you won’t have answers to,” She says. “But you do need to tell Lara Jean. Don’t be secretive about this, Peter. Be straightforward. And if she asks to see Emmi decide whether or not you’re ready for that.”

“Yeah, I know,” Peter nods, thanking her quietly and walking back into work. “I don’t think I’m ever going to be ready for her to see Emmi. But I don’t want her to not have a relationship with her mom if it’ll work out perfectly.”

“You can’t be sure that it will work out though, Peter,” His mom reminds him gently. “She’s left once before, she could absolutely do it again. And Emmi is at an age where she will remember and it will affect her.”

Peter nods, thanks her quietly, and takes a moment in the hallway to recollect himself before he gets back to work.

He looks through the email a few more times throughout the day, drafting a few emails before he gives up, getting the rest of his work done.

The email never leaves his mind.

_______________________________

Lara Jean has always been able to tell when something is bothering Peter. It’s often written on his face, in his mannerisms, in the way he carries himself. Most of the time she’d ask him, press him to vent and get things off his mind. Other times she’d wait until he was ready, when he’d sneak up to her room after her dad went to bed and lay on her bed talking until his voice was sore and it was obvious he had nothing else to say.  
She knows she can’t say anything in front of Emmi, who’s more intuitive than Lara Jean gave her credit for. She asked a few times, Peter always told her it was a long day at work, and Lara Jean’s nudges to get him to tell her subtly didn’t go over the way she had been hoping.

“Something is wrong with Daddy,” Emmi says when Lara Jean offers to get her bathed and in bed, giving Peter a chance to work on his presentation she knows he has to give soon. “He’s never this sad after work, Lara Jean.”

Lara Jean bites her lip, massaging the shampoo into Emmi’s scalp gently. “I think it’s just been a long day, baby. You don’t have to worry about him. He just needs a good night’s rest.”

Emmi still seems skeptical, but she nods and wipes the water out of her eyes, going back to playing with her toys until her fingers start turning into prunes and she complains that the water is cold.

Camp virtually wipes Emmi out, so reading a story seems to take longer and halfway through Lara Jean takes over, finishing the chapter as Emmi drifts off against her shoulder. She carefully crawls out of bed, kissing Emmi on the forehead and tucking her in before creeping down the hallway.

Peter’s sprawled out on the sofa when she walks back down the hall, glancing up from his laptop as he smiles. “She go down okay? Sometimes camp makes her overtired and she puts up a fight.”

Lara Jean smiles, patting his legs so he’ll move them and she can sit down. “She went down fine,” She promises, reaching forward to brush her finger through his hair. “She was worried about you though. She thinks something is wrong.”

Peter raises his eyebrows, typing out another sentence before closing his laptop.

“Peter, _is_ there something wrong?”

Peter doesn’t answer for a moment, setting his laptop on the end table and running his fingers through his hair. “Juliet emailed me.”

Lara Jean sits up a little straighter, a million thoughts running through her mind. “What did she want?”

“To go to lunch. Says she wants to explain why she left the way that she did.” He takes a breath. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. Does she even deserve to have the chance to explain herself? I just… I don’t know.”

Lara Jean nods, fingers tracing up and down his bare legs. “I can’t tell you what to do,” She says quietly. “I mean, if you want to see her, then you absolutely should. But I don’t want her to manipulate you or anything.”

“It’s only you I want,” He says quickly, like maybe that’s her biggest fear about all of this. “She could never — she will never — change my mind about this. I’m marrying you. Meeting her for lunch isn’t going to change that.”

Lara Jean manages the smallest of smiles. “No, I know,” She nods. “I just — I don’t want you to get hurt, Peter.”

Peter nods, running his fingers through his hair. “So if I went you wouldn’t be mad?”

Lara Jean shakes her head. “No, of course not. Maybe talking with her will close that chapter. Maybe it’ll give you what you need.”

Peter thinks about it for a moment, managing to nod as he sighs. “I guess I’ll go then.”

And so it’s settled. Lara Jean leaves a kiss on his cheek and curls into his side, head resting on his shoulder. “It’ll be fine, baby. And if you change your mind you have every right to cancel.”

Peter nods, mentally drafting the email back in his mind in hopes that this somehow all works out and doesn’t turn into more drama that he doesn’t think he can deal with right now.

_______________________________

Peter isn't even totally sure Emmi understands what dress shopping is.

All she knows is that it means an afternoon with Lara Jean and Kitty and her grandmother with a few other people and _not_ her dad. And that alone is enough to excite her, which she talks about the entire week leading up to their appointment on a Saturday and then wakes up early and crawls into bed between Peter and Lara Jean the morning of the appointment.

“We’re going to look at your dresses today?” Emmi asks quietly, tracing patterns on Peter’s face while she turns to face Lara Jean.

Lara Jean masks a yawn, rolling over to look a the time on her phone. “We are,” She says quietly, reaching out to run her fingers through Emmi’s hair. “But not at 7 in the morning.”

She sees Peter laugh behind Emmi’s head, his lips pressing to his daughter’s head. “Let’s snuggle, baby. You don’t have to sleep if you don’t want, but we’re not getting up yet,” He says softly, voice thick with sleep.

Emmi wiggles under the blankets between the two of them, her warm body pressing against Peter. And Peter reaches out for Lara Jean’s hand with his own free hand, squeezing gently and running his thumb against her skin.

Emmi’s breathing evens out against his bare chest, eyes fluttering closed. Lara Jean’s drifted back off to sleep, and while sleep doesn’t feel like it’ll come for Peter again that morning, the few quiet minutes he gets with his two favorite people is more than enough to make up for it.

—

Lara Jean has had permanent butterflies in her stomach since she’s allowed herself to think about how they’re going to look for wedding dresses at the weekend.

It’s a weird feeling, one that feels so out of body and surreal that most of the time she thinks it’s fake. It hasn’t sunk in despite her hours of searching online for the perfect fit and style of wedding dress she would like. She’s taken far too many style quizzes on wedding dresses, sent an obscene amount of pictures in the group chat she has with Kitty and Margot, and bookmarked a few ideas on her phone to bring with her.

Peter’s poked and prodded for clues, hints as to what she’d like. She always laughs and denies him, mumbling about how it’s bad luck to see what kind of dress she’d wear to the wedding.

“It’s not like you’re showing me _the_ dress you’re going to be wearing!” He argues, but Lara Jean just kisses him and packs an extra snack for Emmi in case she gets bored, shaking her head.

“I’m pretty sure it’s still bad luck,” She smiles, grabbing her bag and calling for Emmi down the hall. “You can make it to the wedding to see what I’ll be wearing, I promise you.”

Peter juts his bottom lip out in a pout, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her close. “I will wait, but I can tell you that it won’t be patiently,” He smiles, kissing her softly as Emmi runs around the corner.

“Are we finally leaving?”

“We are,” Lara Jean smiles, perching up on her toes to kiss Peter one more time. “Say goodbye to your dad.”

“Bye, Daddy! We’re going to have so much fun!” Emmi smiles, walking over and wrapping Peter in a hug, letting him kiss her cheek.

“And you’re going to be good,” He says firmly, which earns an eye roll from Emmi and a nod.

“‘m always good,” She reminds him, kissing him again for good measure before running to slip on her shoes.

Emmi and Lara Jean leave hand in hand, Emmi skipping alongside Lara Jean. Peter watches from the doorway until they disappear around the corner and Emmi’s chatter can no longer be heard, and then he quietly closes the door, left once again with an empty apartment and a million thoughts running through his mind that are no longer interrupted.

—

In true Lara Jean fashion, she and Emmi are the last to arrive at the small boutique across town. Margot, Kitty, Trina, Mrs. Kavinsky and Chris are already in their section of the store sipping on champagne, showering both girls in hugs when they walk back and set their things down.

Emmi is over the moon about seeing her grandmother, running over to give her a hug and launch into a long story about her adventures at camp and how much she’s missed her. She slots herself on the sofa between her and Kitty, alternating between the two while Lara Jean and Margot search through the rows of dresses to pick out a few along with their stylist Alena.

Lara Jean combs through each dress in the row with uncertainty, picking out a few she thought might look nice. She realizes she’s in way over her head a quarter of the way through, eyes searching for her sister after a few minutes.

“It’s a lot, isn’t it?” Margot smiles when her eyes lock with her sisters, another dress in her hand.

Lara Jean nods helplessly, agreeing to try on the dress that Margot had been holding as Alena takes them to the dressing room to try on. “I thought maybe I had an idea of what I wanted by looking at pictures and sending you ideas, but now I’m here and there’s so many more options than before and I just… I don’t think I know what I want to wear or what Peter would even like.”

“Lara Jean,” Margot smiles, walking forward to take her sister’s hands in hers, “no offense, but it's not about what Peter would want to see you in.”

Lara Jean manages a small smile, nodding.

“I can guarantee you that he’s going to fall in love with _anything_ you’re wearing. You could walk down in your pajamas and he would think you were the most beautiful you’ve ever looked. That boy is head over heels in love with you.”

“I still want to pick the right dress though,” She says weakly.

“And you will,” Margot encourages, running her fingers through her sister’s hair. “Remember how stressful it was when I was picking out wedding dresses? You’re going to have a much better time than that,” She laughs.

And it’s true. Because Margot took them on a three weekend, hours long excursion through multiple bridal shops and different styles of dresses and by the end of it Lara Jean had resigned herself to the fact that she would probably never get married or she’d just have a court house wedding because this was all far too stressful and it was only picking out a wedding dress.

And now she finds herself picking out her own dress, and so she definitely lied about what she was going to do for herself, but she has to agree that it can’t go as bad as it did for Margot.

“Let’s go try on the dresses we’ve already picked out, and then we’ll go from there. I think you’ll feel a lot less overwhelmed if you try on the dresses we have and eliminate the ones you don’t like.”

And so Lara Jean agrees, hugging her sister tightly in a sea of dresses, thanking her for the pep talk she needed to get through this day.  
It takes four trips to the racks of dresses before Lara Jean has narrowed it down to three dresses, each more gorgeous than the next. All the girls agree that they’re all Lara Jean, but as Lara Jean slips back on a lace dress that reminds her so much of a vintage dress she wore when she was in high school, she can’t help but feel like maybe this is the dress she’s meant to get married in.

Alena zips the dress up, smoothing it out and smiling as Lara Jean loosely pulls her hair into a bun, staring at herself in the mirror.

It’s a looser fitting dress, an off-white and flowing with lace detail. It was Margot’s pick, and admittedly Lara Jean hated it when her sister held it up in front of her to try. She shook her head immediately, saying that it wasn’t her and she thought she’d wear a pure white dress. But Margot had convinced her to give it a chance, everyone loved it the first time around, and as Lara Jean looks at herself wearing it for the second time, she has to admit that she loves it as well.

“I’ve dressed a lot of brides in wedding dresses, and you have that look on your face like you think this may be the one,” Alena smiles from behind her, taking in the dress through the mirror.

And Lara Jean, so hesitant to admit it in fear that she’ll walk out there and they won’t love it as much as the first time, hides her smile and shrugs. “I never thought I’d wear something that wasn’t off-white,” She admits quietly.

“This really suits you, Lara Jean,” Alena smiles. “You’re glowing in it. Are you ready to go show your family again?”

Lara Jean stares at herself in the mirror for another moment, nodding. “Let’s do it.”

The reactions alone when she walks back out in the dress is enough to know that this is absolutely her wedding dress, and as she turns to look in the mirror she notices Margot over her shoulder, tears in her eyes. “Lara Jean, you look so beautiful,” She smiles, the rest of the group nodding in agreement.

“I’m not one to really comment on wedding dresses because I have no idea what I’m looking for, but this is so you that it’s unbelievable Lara Jean,” Chris says, watching as Lara Jean turns around, facing the group.

“You look gorgeous, Lara Jean,” Trina smiles, taking a photo of the dress. “Your dad is going to love it.”

“Peter is going to die,” Mrs. Kavinsky smiles, which makes everyone laugh. “You look stunning, Lara Jean. I love this dress.”

Lara Jean nods, smoothing out the dress with shaky hands and looking towards the one person who’s opinion mattered most to her. “Emmi? What do you think about the dress?” She asks, eyes focused on the 5 year old who had been so invested in all the options throughout the afternoon, much to everyone’s surprise.

Emmi is quiet for a moment, popping a goldfish into her mouth as she takes the dress in fully. Lara Jean is on pins and needles, the opinion of a kid weighing on her mind far more than anyone else’s opinion.

And then her face spreads into a grin, her legs swinging as they hang off the end of the couch. “You look like a princess, Lara Jean,” She says, smiling when everyone reacts to her comment.

“So this is the one I should marry your dad in?”

And Emmi doesn’t hesitate this time, nodding immediately. “I like this one the best.”

Lara Jean turns back to where Alena is standing, letting her family take a few photos of the front and the back of the dress. “This is the one,” She says, which earns a cheer from everyone and a few photos for the store’s sake before she goes back to get changed.

Emmi’s waiting for her when she returns from ordering the dress, reaching out for her hand and leading her over to the other dresses. “Kitty says that this is the dress I’m gonna wear.”

“Well, maybe not that one exactly,” Lara Jean corrects her gently, guiding her down the row of flower girl dresses. “But these are the dresses we’re going to choose from. We’ll do that another day though, okay?” She says, and Emmi agrees and changes the subject to food.

They all agree to go out for lunch, Emmi’s hand firmly grasped between Lara Jean and Chris before she slides into a seat next to Lara Jean and Peter’s mom. She looks at her menu, Lara Jean nudging her once they’ve ordered their food. “The dress has to stay a secret, okay? You can’t tell Dad about what it looks like or anything, even if he asks you.”

Emmi looks up at her seriously, nodding quickly. “I promise I won’t tell him, Lara Jean,” She nods, taking a bite of the bread her grandmother set in front of her. “I’ll tell him that it’s a secret and he can’t ask me about it.”

Lara Jean bites back a laugh, nodding and kissing the top of her head. “I’m really glad you came with us, peanut. You had a good time?”

Emmi nods, smiling. “And next time we go we’re going to pick out my dress?”

Lara Jean smiles, nodding. “We’ll pick out your dress next,” She promises, which only makes Emmi more excited and Lara Jean half wonders how they’re going to keep her contained for the few weeks leading up to the appointment for the bridesmaids and flower girl dresses.

Lara Jean shifts her attention to the whole table, jumping between a few conversations and talking to her friends and family who took the time to come help her pick out the dress she’s going to marry the love of her life in.

She steals a few looks at the photos of her wedding dress Margot sent, somehow falling more in love with it the longer she looks at it. Chris teases her, Trina smiles, and although Lara Jean really thinks normally she’d be embarrassed that she was caught looking at photos of the dress she won’t be wearing for months, she really can’t help but get more excited that now it feels a little more real.

_______________________________

“I think I want to incorporate some Korean aspects into our wedding.” Lara Jean’s voice is quiet through the living room of Peter’s apartment, where she had been sprawled out on the floor in a sea of custom bakery orders and checklists to get back to Mina for their wedding.

Peter is caught off guard by the statement, looking down from his spot on the sofa at his fiancé, sitting up so he can see her properly. “You know I’m all for it,” He begins, leaning on his elbow. “But what we’re you thinking? I just… I don’t want you to get overwhelmed trying to plan all of this stuff into the wedding.”

Lara Jean frowns, pushing herself to sit up. “I don’t think I’d be overwhelmed by it all,” She argues, which Peter _knows_ and he really didn’t mean it the way he came out. He apologizes quietly, which Lara Jean smiles about and thanks him quietly. “I just think maybe some decorations. I don’t think I want to wear a hanbok or anything. I’m too in love with my dress for that,” She smiles.

Peter laughs, nodding. “Okay, so we do decorations with Korean touches for you,” He agrees. “Maybe we could talk to your grandmother or your mom’s family and see what the appropriate decorations would be? Or we could google it?” Peter offers, suddenly feeling far more helpful than he had just a few minutes prior. “I’m in way over my head with this one, but I know how important it is to you.”

Lara Jean lifts herself off the floor, walking over to where Peter had been laying to sit down next to him. “Thank you. For making it feel like the most important thing to you as well,” She mumbles, leaning down to kiss his lips softly, her fingers running through his hair. “We can google it in the morning and maybe talk to my grandmother or something. Although I am a little worried she’ll want a full-on traditional Korean wedding since Margot didn’t give her that,” She smiles.

“Well, I think Korean aspects is a pretty good compromise,” He mumbles, fingers tracing long the edge of her shirt that’s ridden up.

“Me too,” She whispers, forehead falling against his. “But right now I want to forget all about those orders and the checklists that are laying on the floor waiting to be worked on, and I really want to make out with you. Because I have a really hot fiancé and it’s been too long since I’ve made out with him.”

Peter’s eyebrows raise playfully, his fingers pinching her exposed skin. “Oh really?” He says softly, voice full of gravel. “Well, I think your fiancé would like that very much,” He teases, sitting up to pull her onto his lip, kissing her roughly.

Everything else could wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i originally was going to put peter meeting with juliet in this chapter (which is why i said there was going to be drama), but it felt like it would've been a lot for this chapter so you'll have to wait for the next one! so prolonged drama! 
> 
> thank you guys so so so much for taking the time to read this/leave comments/kudos. still kind of can't believe you guys love this little series as much as you do omg. thank you so much :)
> 
> [here](https://www.dhresource.com/0x0s/f2-albu-g5-M01-0D-B3-rBVaJFkpQsaAStyiAAMh32rs2Pg571.jpg/vintage-full-lace-wedding-dresses-a-line.jpg) is a link to the wedding dress that i thought she'd wear!
> 
> title of the chapter is from I Choose You by Sara Bareilles :)


	5. we found love right where we are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter meets with Juliet, and Lara Jean and Emmi have a girls day.

Lara Jean doesn’t hesitate in letting Emmi come to work with her on a Sunday so Peter can go meet Juliet.

It’s not even a second thought in her mind. Sundays are their slower days, Lara Jean is positive that they don’t have many special orders they need to work through, and Emmi loves being at the bakery helping out or just occupying her time over in the corner playing games or coloring.

“Are you sure that she’ll be okay with you for a few hours? I can pick her up on my way back from lunch so that you can actually get some work done,” Peter says when they’re in the bathroom getting ready, Lara Jean braiding her hair while Peter desperately tries to contain his curls.

“I get a lot of work done when she’s there, Peter,” Lara Jean smiles, lifting Emmi up onto the bathroom counter when she appears in the doorway, waiting for her hair to be done for her. “Peanut, tell your dad that we get a lot of work done when you come to the bakery with me.”

Emmi looks at Peter through the mirror, wincing when Lara Jean tugs on a curl before she smiles. “We get so much done, Daddy! Lara Jean lets me help and I do a lot of things there.”

Peter laughs, rolling his eyes as he presses a kiss to the top of Emmi’s head, laughing when she protests and exclaims that he’s going to mess up her hair because it’s not done yet. “I’m going to go get your snacks ready. Pick out clothes to wear when Lara Jean is done with your hair.”

He meets Lara Jean’s lips for a quick kiss on his way out the door, listening to their laughter and chatter down the hall while he packs a few snacks for Emmi so she would at least have some food while she’s at work with Lara Jean.

—

Emmi digs through her bin of shoes to find her sandals that go with her dress while Lara Jean moves to where Peter had been standing, the nervousness clear on his face.

“Today is going to go fine, you know,” Lara Jean mumbles, wrapping her arms around his waist, chin resting on his chest. “You’re going to get the closure you need and we can move on from this.”

“Still feel like I’m doing the wrong thing. Giving her a chance,” Peter mumbles. His arms wrap around Lara Jean, fingers lacing on the small of her back.

Lara Jean pulls herself impossibly closer, kissing his jaw lightly. “You’re not giving her a chance because you want to see what happens. You’re doing this because for the last three years you’ve been left with more questions than answers, and you deserve to know what she was thinking when she did this. It’s not a bad thing, Peter. It could be a really good thing.”

Peter manages to nod, but he doesn’t look entirely convinced and so Lara Jean kisses him again softly, turning back to Emmi when she appears with sandals on the right feet and matching.

She gives Peter a hug and promises she’ll be good for Lara Jean, both Lara Jean and Peter laughing as Lara Jean gives Peter another kiss. “It’ll be fine, “She assures him, squeezing his hand for good measure. “I’ll text you when we’re done. Don’t worry about coming to get her if I don’t say anything.”

And Peter nods, watching the two of them leave before he’s left to finish getting ready himself, trying not to overthink the fact that he’s going to lunch with the mother of his daughter for the first time in almost four years.

_______________________________

Juliet looks exactly the same as she did all those years ago.

Her auburn hair is curled and cut just beneath her shoulders, she’s wearing a summer dress that Peter can remember her wearing when they would walk to class at the beginning of fall semester, her eyes cast down on her phone as she sits in a corner booth.

Peter takes a deep breath, composing himself in the entryway of the diner they agreed to meet at before he forces his feet to walk towards her.

“Hey, Juliet,” He says softly, breaking her trance from her phone. She looks up, giving him a soft smile that made him fall in love with her all those years ago, and stands up to hug him.

He slides into the chair across from her, ordering a water from the waitress and glancing at the menu while the silence lingers between the two of them. Peter’s stuck between some sort of limbo, wondering if he should be the first to say something or if he should let her dictate where this conversation was going to go.

They order their lunch, and without the menus to distract them it’s Juliet that speaks first. “Thank you for taking the time to meet me. For even giving me a chance.”

Peter takes a sip of his water, nodding. “I have to ask though, why did you contact me now?”

Juliet sighs, twirling the paper from her straw in between her thumb and forefinger. She’s barely made eye contact, but Peter watches her intently, tries to read her body language and figure out what she’s _not_ saying. “I guess you and Emmi have just been on my mind lately. Especially with it being close to her birthday. And, you know,” She shrugs, voice trailing off.

Peter knows she’s talking about when she left. When she put that note on her pillow for him to find in the morning, the papers signing over parental rights appearing in the mail a few weeks later, and all his attempts to contact her going unanswered.

“She’s doing well? Emmi?” Juliet asks. Peter bites back a laugh, twisting his cup between his hands as he tries not to dwell on the fact that Juliet just implied their daughter was a stranger, someone she didn’t know and hadn’t raised for two years.

He nods anyway, chewing on the corner of his lip. “She’s doing amazing,” He says confidently. Because yes, this is a little bit of an ego boost for him. Showing off how they didn't need her there to be okay. “Just finished kindergarten. She’s got a lot of friends, doing a ton of sports and she’s in camp all summer while I work. She’s hilarious and thriving.”

Juliet smiles sincerely, nodding. “Is she with your mom right now?” She asks, taking a sip of her water. “Not that I thought you’d bring her to this or anything. She’d probably just be confused at who I am or why I’m seeing her.”

Peter sucks in a breath, leg shaking underneath the table. “She’s with my fiancé, actually. She owns a bakery and Emmi likes to go with her and help out. So she took her with her while I came here.”

Juliet sits up a little straighter when he says that, and although Peter thinks she tries to mask her shock, she doesn’t do a very good job of it. “Oh, you’re engaged,” She says softly. “Congrats, Peter. I’m really happy for you.”

“Thanks,” Peter says. He thinks about mentioning that it’s Lara Jean. That they found their ways back to each other and they’re more in love than they ever have been and she’s accepted Emmi in ways Peter once only dreamed about someone doing when he started dating. But he manages to keep his mouth shut and not comment any further than that, which alone feels like a victory.

“I did what I thought was right that night, leaving,” Juliet says after a few minutes, once the waitress is done serving their lunches and disappears back into the kitchen. “I wasn’t cut out to be a mom. Being a dad came so naturally to you, but I struggled with everything. She would cry and nothing I did was right, but then you’d come home from work and you’d just hold her and she’d settle down.”

“It’s not always easy, Juliet,” Peter says sharply. He takes a bite of his sandwich. “There are plenty of days where I’m not enough. Just because you couldn’t always get her to settle down doesn’t mean that you were a bad mom or you should’ve left.”

“It wasn’t just that, Peter,” Juliet counters immediately. “We were so young. I wasn’t ready to be a mom, and I thought maybe once she wasn’t a newborn I’d be fine and I’d figure it out. But I never did.” She stops herself, taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry for the way I left. I know there’s a million things I could’ve done better. I could’ve left on better terms, we could’ve talked it through and figured it out. But I did what I thought was best. What was easier for all of us.”

“I woke up to a note on your pillow, Juliet. That wasn’t easy for me. I thought we had worked things out between us. I thought things were getting better. Do you think I was ready to be a dad?”

“I’m sorry, Peter,” Juliet says softly. She takes a bite of her salad. Peter takes a deep breath. “There isn’t anything else I can say except that I’m sorry and if I could go back and do it differently I absolutely would.”

Peter’s silent for a moment, desperately trying to comprehend everything that Juliet just said. She doesn’t make any attempts to continue her excuses, but Peter finds he still has questions he’s desperate for answers.

“So when you said you wanted to meet with me today, are you looking to be back in Emmi’s life? Do you want your parental rights back?”

“No,” Juliet replies immediately. Peter doesn’t know if he’s supposed to be relieved or upset at how fast she answered that question. “I signed over parental rights for a reason, Peter. Me being in her life would just confuse her. She’s better off without me there at this point.”

“Then what did you want? Did you want to see her? Were you hoping I’d bring her? To see if we were suffering without you?” He’s growing more irritated, somehow hears Lara Jean’s voice in his mind telling him to calm down, and forces himself to take a breath.

Juliet frowns, shaking her head. “I wanted to be able to explain myself. It’s been almost four years, Peter. I just thought that maybe we could both be mature about this. Talk through what happened between us and move on from it. I don’t want a relationship with you or Emmi or anything. I don't want to fight you for custody or see her again or anything like that. I just — I wanted to clear the air.”

Peter’s more than frustrated now, digging in his pocket for his wallet. “It would be one thing if you were looking to clear the air if you just left me,” He says softly, aware that there are other diners near them. “But that night you chose to leave, you chose to leave a two year old who no longer has a mom in her life. You chose to walk out of her life without a second thought, and I will _never_ be able to forgive you for that. After everything you knew about my family, you still chose to leave.”

“I don’t think you ever thought about how Emmi would feel when she got older and she realized she didn’t have a mom in her life. You were thinking about yourself and how you wanted to have a life like your friends who don’t have kids depending on them,” Peter says. His voice is shaky now, almost unable to stop himself from crying. “Because Emmi does ask about you. She asks if you were pretty and if she looks like you or if you loved her, and every day I say that you are beautiful and she has your nose and eyes and you did love her, but I’m not entirely sure if that last one is even true.”

He takes a deep breath, tossing 40 dollars on the table. “Emmi is thriving. She’s happy, she has someone in my fiancé who loves her and treats her as if she was her own daughter, and I’m mostly just sorry that you didn’t stick around to see it.”

He turns and walks out of the diner without a second thought, eyes cast down as he weaves through the bustle of the city on the weekend. He waits until he’s around the corner and a few blocks away, far enough that he knows Juliet hadn’t followed him, before he pulls out his phone.

There’s two texts from Lara Jean. One of a photo of she and Emmi at the bakery counting cupcakes, and a text that came a little under an hour ago.

_Bakery was slow and all special orders were done. I left it in the capable hands of Zoe and Jenna for the last hour or two. Emmi and I are stopping at the store and then heading home, so don’t worry about stopping by the bakery when you’re done with lunch :) we love you!_

He manages the smallest of smiles, sending a few heart emojis back and pocketing his phone, taking the long way home to clear his mind.

_______________________________

Lara Jean guides Emmi through the employee entrance of the bakery hand in hand, smiling at Zoe, who’s been working on rolling out dough in the back corner. “You brought a friend!” She smiles, Emmi wiggling free from Lara Jean’s lap and walking over to the metal table where Zoe was working.

“What are you making, Zoe?” She asks, fingers gripping the table as she stands up on her tip toes.

“I’m making lemon tarts,” Zoe smiles, rolling out the dough. “If you go have Lara Jean help you wash your hands you can help me,” She smiles, laughing when Emmi turns on her heels and runs to the sink, letting Lara Jean help her wash her hands.

She spends a good portion of the morning with Zoe, hands resting on the rolling pin underneath Zoe’s hands rolling out the dough and putting them into the tins. She helps mix up the lemon curd, lets Zoe put them into the oven, and then works on the cookie dough. Lara Jean works on some custom cakes, keeping a watchful eye on the two of them over in the corner as music plays quietly.

When she finishes with the cake she recruits Emmi to help with some cinnamon buns and counting cupcakes to be put out into the display cases, snapping a photo and sending it to Peter in hopes that maybe it’ll brighten his spirits if the lunch isn’t going well. She had mostly tried to steer clear of asking, finding that work was a welcomed distraction in not dwelling on the fact that her fiancé was out with his ex-girlfriend who is also the mother of his child, and Emmi’s laughter and counting is more than enough to make her feel great about all of this.

“It’s pretty slow here if you wanted to go home. Jenna and I can manage things,” Zoe offers when she realizes Emmi is pretty bored, playing games on Lara Jean’s phone. “It also doesn’t feel like the depths of hell out there, so you could get her energy out at the park or something.”

“Are you sure you’re okay if I leave?” Lara Jean asks. She glances back through into the dining area of the bakery, noticing a few customers milling around, but it’s nothing that she knows two of them can’t handle. “I feel bad if I just skip out after only being here for a little while.”

Zoe smiles, wiping her hands on her apron. “Lara Jean, you spend more time at this bakery than any other owner I know spends at theirs. I think taking an afternoon off after you came in and worked on a custom order with a 5 year old in tow is more than enough reason to leave,” She laughs. “I promise we’ll be fine. Just maybe try to enjoy your weekend.”

Lara Jean smiles, hugging Zoe quickly and getting Emmi’s things packed up, letting her say goodbye to everyone. “Lara Jean, can we make Daddy a cake?”

Lara Jean looks down at Emmi, grabbing her hand before she loses her in the sea of people. And yes, normally when she’s not at work she’s abandoned making treats at home because it’s just too much baking at that point. But there’s a 5 year old looking back at her with so much hopefulness in her eyes and without a second thought Lara Jean finds herself nodding, walking towards the grocery store instead of home.

“What kind of cake should we make him? We’ll have to get some ingredients I don’t think your dad has at home,” She says as they walk in, grabbing a basket by the front door.

Emmi’s smile grows wider as she skips alongside Lara Jean to the baking aisle. “Chocolate is is favorite. With vanilla icing.”

“Is that your favorite, or Daddy’s?” Lara Jean teases, stopping in the aisle and looking down at Emmi. “What about we make a red velvet cake? It’s kind of like chocolate, but your dad loves it.”

Emmi mulls it over for a minute before she nods, grabbing the ingredients Lara Jean tells her to and tosses them into the basket. “Will I like it Lara Jean?”

“I think you will. You like almost everything I make,” She smiles, which seems to be enough for Emmi as she smiles and nods, taking Lara Jean’s hand as they walk up to check out.

They beat Peter home so Lara Jean sends him a quick text to let him know that he doesn’t need to come to the bakery before digging around his cabinets, managing to find a bowl and a mixer and cake pan that she’s half surprised he has.

“Have you and your dad made a lot of cakes? I’m surprised he had a pan to bake it in.”

Emmi shrugs, pulling a chair over to the counter for her to stand on so she can help. “Sometimes we do. But he just uses the boxes,” She scrunches her nose, earning a laugh from Lara Jean as they begin mixing up the cake.

Peter arrives home just as she goes to mix up the batter, giving them a smile that looks more forced than anything. Emmi doesn’t seem to notice, climbing down off the chair and running over to jump into Peter’s arms.

“We’re making you a cake, Daddy!” She exclaims, pointing back into the kitchen where Lara Jean is pouring the batter into the cake pan.

“You are? Why do I deserve a cake?” He smiles, walking into the kitchen with Emmi on his hip, leaning down to kiss Lara Jean. “And it’s red velvet?” He asks, Lara Jean smiling as she turns to put it back in the oven.

“Because I love you and I wanted to make you a cake!”

“To be fair, she did do a lot of the work. I just measured things out for her to make sure that it was right,” Lara Jean vouches for Emmi, turning back. “Em, want to help me make the icing now?” She asks, Emmi nodding as Peter sets her back down on the chair.

“Did today go okay?” Lara Jean asks quietly, stealing a kiss from Peter again when he walks by to get something to drink.

“We’ll talk about it later,” He promises, sitting down in a chair at the counter and watching both of them make the cream cheese icing together.

Even if the afternoon was horrible, Peter knows this moment more than makes up for it.

_______________________________

Emmi is less than willing to go to bed that evening, not that Peter blames her. She’d always been able to read moods, always able to tell when Peter had had an off day or a stressful day, and she’d do anything that her 5 year old brain could think of to make him feel better.

So, after successfully dragging out dessert with their cake and begging to watch just a little bit more TV with them Peter finally puts an end to it, letting her say goodnight to Lara Jean before ushering her to bed, reminding her that she has camp in the morning and she can’t be tired for that.

Emmi takes her time getting changed into her pajamas, climbing up into bed and reading her book with minimal help from Peter. She manages to sweet talk her way into reading an extra chapter, and by the time they finish that she’s more than fighting sleep now, not putting up a fight when Peter pries the book from her hand and marks their place, carefully climbing out of her bed.

“Night, love bug. Love you forever,” He mumbles, lips lingering on her forehead a little longer than normal. He finds himself staring at her, taking in her features, how fast she’s growing up and how she looks more like a kid than a baby more than ever, and lets himself wonder how Juliet could just walk out of something like this and have no inclination to even want to attempt to come back.

Emmi smiles, wrapping her arms lazily around his neck, squeezing tightly. Peter feels her yawn against his shoulder, and then a kiss is pressed to his cheek. “Night, Daddy. I love you so much. More than you love me,” She laughs softly, the smile on Peter’s face growing wider.

He squeezes her back, taking a deep breath. “Not possible, kid,” He whispers, leaving one last kiss on her forehead before forcing himself to leave her room.

Lara Jean’s sitting on the sofa when he returns, a bag of M&Ms on the cushion between the two of them, drinks set on the coffee table. She gives him that smile that relaxes him, makes him feel like it’s going to be okay, and he falls against the cushion, his hand digging in for a handful of candy.

“Talk,” Lara Jean says simply, shifting her body so she’s facing him. “Talk until you feel better.”

Peter doesn’t at first, methodically chewing the candy and shaking his leg against the edge of the coffee table. And Lara Jean waits, taking another handful of M&Ms for herself, head leaning back against the cushions as she looks at her fiancé.

“Well, the silver lining is she wants nothing to do with me or Emmi,” Peter says quietly, glancing down the hallway like maybe Emmi had snuck out of bed and heard him. “She told me that we’d been on her mind lately since it’s getting closer to Emmi’s birthday and when she left us.”

Lara Jean pops another M&M into her mouth, knowing better than to interrupt when it’s obvious he needs to just get it all off his chest.

“She said she left because she thought it was the right thing to do. She wasn’t cut out to be a mom, she thought I was a natural at being a dad because I could get Emmi to calm down even after being at work all day and away from her.”

He takes a deep breath, standing up and beginning to pace the room. Lara Jean curls up on the sofa, watching him carefully.

“She said she wasn’t ready to be a mom. That she was so young, she thought she had more time before we became parents. And then she thought maybe it would get easier when Emmi wasn’t a newborn, but it didn’t get easier. So obviously leaving was the only logical answer!” He’s struggling to keep his voice down, Lara Jean knows, but she glances down the hall and doesn’t hear anything, so she lets him go. “Does she think _I_ was ready to be a dad? That I thought having a kid at 21 was the right move?” He stops himself, taking a deep breath. “How can she just sit there and say all that like it wasn’t both of us that got into this?”

“I don’t know, Peter,” Lara Jean says softly. Peter sits back down where he was sitting, elbows resting on his knees, head resting in his hands. “I don’t know why she thought that that was a logical reason to leave.”

Peter takes a shaky breath, staring at the floor. “She said she thought we could be mature about this. It’s been almost four years, she thought we could talk about it like adults as if she didn’t just leave a note on her pillow in the middle of the night and leave us.” His voice is low, shaking. And after a moment, his teary eyes look back at Lara Jean. “How could she ever expect me to forgive her? She knew what my dad did. She knew he left us and barely talks to us anymore. I didn’t think she’d do the same to our kid. How could she not want Emmi?”

Lara Jean leans forward, running her fingers through his hair. “She’s missing out, Peter,” Lara Jean says softly. She takes his hand in hers, squeezing gently. “She’s missing out on the most amazing kid and the most amazing guy. Although I am pretty happy she’s missing out on you,” She smiles, which earns half a laugh from Peter.

“I’m sorry for unloading on you.”

“Hey, you needed to get it out. You can always vent to me, you know that. Even if it’s about your ex-girlfriend who is the mother of your child,” She promises. “I’d prefer not to know about any other exes.”

“There aren’t any others,” Peter smiles. Lara Jean laughs, bringing his hand up to kiss it softly. “I’m not going to see her again, just so you know,” He says softly. “Even if she contacts me again. She’s not getting the satisfaction of knowing that I’d give her a chance to explain herself or let her have that chance again.”

Lara Jean nods, moving her way over to press herself against his side, head resting on his shoulder. “Just so you know, if you ever did want to talk things through with her again I wouldn’t mind. She’s the mother of your child, Peter. I get it.”

“I won’t want to,” Peter says firmly, leaning in for a kiss. “I promise you, that’s it. She made it more than clear she has no interest in asking for parental rights again or even making an attempt to want to see Emmi again. And unless she wants either of those things, I’m not seeing her again.”

Lara Jean just smiles, leaning forward to kiss him roughly. “I love you, and I love how fiercely you love Emmi and are willing to do anything to protect her. And I know that you say you’re never going to see her again, but if you want to, I will be right here by your side, okay? Even if it’s terrible and you’re doing it because you want Emmi to have that relationship if she wants it.”

Peter smiles, leaning forward to kiss her. “I don’t deserve you,” He mumbles quietly against her lips, kissing her again. “I love you.”

“I love you more,” She replies easily, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Because to her it is, and she’ll spend her days reminding Peter that if that’s what it takes to show him how much she loves him.

He falls asleep with his head in her lap that night watching a movie, her fingers gently massaging his scalp. And for as awful as a day Lara Jean knows he had, she knows that being here right now, knowing that they were getting married, is the most amazing feeling in the world.

She’d take a million days like these as long as it meant they got to be together for the rest of their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys so much for the comments/kudos/just reading in general! i don't deserve you guys :)
> 
> we're going to get back into wedding stuff next chapter, promise! i just didn't think any planning really fit into this chapter haha :)
> 
> more will be up soooon!
> 
> title of the chapter is from Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran :)


	6. cause I've never been more at home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Lara Jean make more decisions for the wedding, they celebrate Fourth of July, and Peter and Lara Jean plan a vacation.

Peter is fairly sure that if Lara Jean shows him a different wedding invitation option it’s going to look the same as the last one at this point.

With Emmi at a playdate and Lara Jean taking a few hours away from the bakery after finishing a record amount of special orders for Fourth of July parties they both agreed that they’d sit down and pick florists and Korean decorations and finalize which invitation they wanted to go with so Mina could get everything ordered and organized.

Peter thought it would take an hour to decide on decorations and flowers and invitations. And then they’d have a few hours alone in the apartment without worrying about Emmi walk in on them, and that alone was enough to entice him to get over the exhaustion he’s feeling from their summer schedules.

But now they’re on hour three of choosing decorations and picking out florists for the wedding (which Peter never knew there were so many florists in the area), they’ve narrowed it down to two florists, made out for a little bit, and now they’ve been looking at invitations for what feels like the rest of the afternoon. Peter takes a swig of his beer, staring back at the three invitation mockups laid out on the coffee table in front of him, Lara Jean waiting patiently for his input.

“I really can’t tell the difference at this point. I feel like we’ve been staring at these all day. They’re starting to look the same,” Peter sighs, eyes flicking between the three invitations. “I really like the blue and brown. And if blue is one of our wedding colors, then maybe we should put it on the wedding invitation,” He decides, narrowing it down to two options.

Lara Jean chews on the inside of her lip, wine glass swirling in her hand as she looks at the three of them. “Blue is definitely one of our wedding colors. It’s a wedding color in Korean weddings,” She explains quickly. She looks through the options once more, and then picks up the invitation in the middle. “I think I like this one the best. It’s not overdone with blue, but it’s enough. Do you agree?”

Peter nods immediately, holding the invitation in his hands, looking over the other two options before handing it back to Lara Jean. “So this is the one we’re choosing? You agree that it’s not too much?” He asks, taking another drink of his beer as she looks them over one final time.

“I agree,” She says confidently, leaning up for a kiss and setting the invitation they chose to the side. “Okay, so that’s one more thing done for the wedding!” She exclaims, pulling out their checklist and crossing one more thing off. Peter bites back a groan seeing everything they _haven’t_ done, wondering how they’re going to get it done all on time and not be completely stressed out by all of this.

“So, I talked to my grandmother,” Lara Jean says softly, turning to face Peter, who’s sprawled out on the sofa. “And she said that while she understands why we’re not going full out on the Korean wedding, she’s happy we’re doing some decorations.”

Peter props himself up on his elbow, free hand reaching out to take her hand. “Okay, so that’s a good thing, right? She’s not totally mad that we’re not having a full-on traditional wedding.”

“It’s because she loves you so much,” Lara Jean smirks, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. “But she did give me the important things to have in decorations.” She releases his hand, turning back to find the list she made and shoved in the binder she dedicated to wedding planning. “She said chestnuts are an important part of Korean weddings, but since we’re not doing the traditional ceremony I thought it would be a nice touch to just have them as part of the centerpieces at the table.”

She flicks through her Pinterest board, pulling up a few centerpieces that incorporate chestnuts in them. “I really like that one,” Peter says quietly, pointing to one where chestnuts flank the floral centerpieces. He notices Lara Jean smiling from the corner of her eye, enlarging the photo. “This one was my favorite too,” She admits, leaning back to kiss him quickly.

“And then Mandarin ducks are a symbol of unity in Korean weddings,” She explains quickly, scrolling back through her board until she finds a photo. "My grandmother said that she’d contact our family in Korea and they could send some over. We could display them on the table with the cake?”

Peter nods, leaning forward to scroll through the board of wedding inspiration. “What about certain kinds of flowers? We could put them in the centerpieces next to the chestnuts so that it all ties together.”

At the realization that Peter is genuinely interested in the decorations Lara Jean can’t help but beam with pride, nodding quickly. “She said peonies or lotus flowers would be the best. We could use the two of them for centerpieces instead of the normal flowers that would be used?” She searches through Pinterest to find what she means, pinning a few flower arrangement she likes.

“Is there anything else we should incorporate?” Peter asks softly, fingers running through Lara Jean’s hair. She’s sitting perfectly in front of him, scrolling through Pinterest and glancing at her notes every so often.

Lara Jean shakes her head, pinning a few more ideas before turning back to Peter, the smile on her face growing wider. “I think we incorporated everything that’s important. And I don’t want it to be _too_ Korean. I mean, yes, it’s important to me to have elements of my mom, but not so much that you feel like you don't have any connections. And besides, I’m only half Korean.”

Peter smiles, kisses Lara Jean just for good measure, and sits up so she can join him on the sofa. “Can you believe we’re getting married,” She laughs, curling up against his side, fingers running through his hair as she kisses him again. “Like I’m actually going to be your wife.”

“If we could speed up to that part right about now I would be a very happy man,” Peter mumbles against her lips, fingers squeezing her sides gently. “Not that I’m not excited about the wedding and celebrating with all of our friends. Because I’m definitely excited for that, just so you know.”

Lara Jean laughs softly, her head falling against Peter’s shoulder as she nods. “Lucky for you, I understand exactly what you mean,” She agrees. “Margot told me that planning a wedding was a lot of fun, which it _is_ , but she didn’t say how stressful it is too. Who knew there were so many decisions about a piece of paper inviting people to come celebrate with us?”

Peter smiles, twisting her bracelet underneath his fingertips. “I think everyone leaves out those details about picking out place cards and seating arrangements and wedding invitations because they know that no one would actually have a wedding if they knew you needed to factor in all that,” His voice is quiet through the living room. “But that’s what makes it all worth it, right? Like, we’re going to have this really beautiful wedding and Mina is there to help us so we don’t go completely insane, and maybe that’s enough.”

“Maybe you’re right,” Lara Jean agrees softly, burying her head against Peter’s sleeve. “And maybe we should take advantage of our time alone with Emmi out of the apartment. And leave wedding planning alone for a few hours. At least until we have to go get Emmi.”

Peter raises his eyebrows at her suggestion, the smile on his face only growing wider. “You, my love, have the best suggestions in the world,” He teases, kissing her before reaching out for her hand, leading her down the hall and into his bedroom.

_______________________________

Fourth of July rolls around bringing blazing sunshine, the warmest temperatures of the year, and plans for Lara Jean for the first time in years. They close the bakery for the holiday, deciding it would be more beneficial to spend the day with friends and family rather than being open. They get plenty of special orders, and so quietly Lara Jean creeps out of bed as the sun rises just outside the window of Peter’s bedroom, kissing him softly on the forehead and promising she’ll be back as soon as they’re done with all the deliveries.

With Chris going away with her new boyfriend Adam, Zoe and Jenna offer to help Lara Jean with the drop offs. Lara Jean pulls up to the bakery as the last of the cupcakes are being boxed by Jenna, immediately beginning to load the rest of the orders in the back of Lara Jean’s car. They work in almost silence for the first 20 minutes, loading and organizing and making sure they had the list of delivery sites they needed to go to.

“So, what are your plans for the day when we’re done with orders?” Zoe asks from the passenger seat after the second drop off, radio playing quietly as the streets grow more crowded with people traveling to celebrate the day.

“I’m going to a barbecue with some friends from high school. One of them just moved into the city and is declaring this his house warming party, which basically means he bought more beer than normal and we’re going to celebrate on the rooftop deck of his place,” Jenna shrugs, but judging by the smile on her face both Zoe and Lara Jean know that she’s pretty excited about spending the afternoon with her friends not having to worry about work.

“Peter mentioned something about some party in the park?” Lara Jean says after a moment, looking at both of her friends as she carefully stops at a red light. “He said that he and Emmi have been a few times and a lot of kids from her school go, and there’s food and fireworks. I’ve never been before, obviously. But he says it’s fun and really, if Emmi is happy then it should be fine.”

“I’ve heard of that party, actually,” Zoe pipes up, smile on her face. “I mean, I’ve never been. But I’ve walked by and it looks fun. There’s games and stuff for kids. I think you’ll really like it there. It’s good for families,” She nudges, all three girls laughing.

Lara Jean smiles at the explanation, finding a place to pull over in front of their next drop off as she turns to Zoe. “What about you? Any extravagant plans for the Fourth of July celebrations?” She asks, pulling out the order form to make sure they drop off the right thing.

Zoe shrugs, biting back a smile. “I mean, my brother and his girlfriend are coming. We’ll probably just go down and watch the fireworks tonight,” She smiles. “And his girlfriend is bringing a guy friend she thinks is perfect for me.”

“Get it, Zo!” Jenna teases from the back seat, hopping out and grabbing the order from the trunk. “I think it’s pretty safe to say we’re all going to have good days off,” She smirks, which Lara Jean immediately agrees to, but mostly because she knows hers will be perfect as long as she is with Peter and Emmi.

—

Zoe’s assumptions about the party were right, it turns out. It’s geared more towards families, which Lara Jean had half been expecting but it still catches her off guard. Emmi’s hand is firmly grasped in hers and Peter’s, walking between them as they make their way to one of the food trucks to get dinner.

“Daddy, do you think Lila is here yet?” Emmi asks, tugging on Peter’s hand. Peter sighs, glancing at Lara Jean with the smallest of smiles on his face as he turns his attention back to his daughter. “Because you said her mom said she was coming.”

“And she is, baby,” Peter sighs, feeling like he’s answered the question a million times that afternoon. “But first we’re going to eat dinner, and then if we don’t see her I will text her mom and I will ask where she is so we can meet up with her.”

That answer seems to satisfy Emmi, who nods and goes back to skipping between the two of them, stopping when they order their dinner and find an empty picnic table to sit down at and eat. Peter helps Emmi with cutting up her dinner as if it’s second nature, and for a moment Lara Jean just watches, soaking in the moment as if it’s the first time she’s ever seeing it.

Sometimes it catches her off guard that she’s going to be joining this little family unit. It had been Peter and Emmi for so long, and sometimes Lara Jean wonders if anything will change when she joins. She knows it’s ridiculous to feel like this, knows that both of them have welcomed her with open arms and Emmi was more excited about them getting married than anyone else they knew of, but there were always those thoughts. Thoughts that maybe she’s imposing on this tiny family that’s gone through so much together.

Because back when Lara Jean was in high school and she thought about her future with Peter, she never thought they would’ve lost touch, he would’ve had a kid, and she’d become a stepmother to her in the future. And it’s not that storybook fairytale that Lara Jean dreamt about all those nights before she and Peter fake dated, but it was a storybook ending in it’s own right.

A storybook ending that involved her finding her high school sweetheart again, falling in love, and then marrying him. And at the end of the story she wasn’t only gaining Peter as a husband, but Emmi as a daughter.

And that alone was enough to remind her that this little family unit is more than ready to welcome her into it with open arms. And there’s no reason for her to feel any other way.

—

They do end up finding Lila after dinner, following both girls around as they do some of the blow up obstacle courses and bounced in the bouncy houses until Peter was fairly sure Emmi was going to slide off it and throw up she had been on it so long.

Lara Jean had initially been nervous about meeting moms from Emmi’s school, but Lila’s mom Amy was warm and smiled as she shook her hand when Peter introduced them, instantly putting Lara Jean at ease. “Peter is very popular among the moms at school,” She teases, crossing her arms over her chest and watching the girls bounce with some older kids in the bounce house. “When we found out he had a girlfriend it was a little bit of a mixed reaction that he was off the market and that he had finally found someone that could make him happy.”

Lara Jean laughs when she notices Peter turning red. “She’s my high school sweetheart, Amy,” He says sheepishly, nudging Lara Jean’s shoulder with his. “We just reconnected last year.”

Amy’s eyebrows raise in surprise, and then she somehow smiles wider at the two of them. “Well, I’m glad that you guys found your way back to each other,” She says softly, looking between the two of them. “And Lara Jean, the moms and I would love it if you came to moms night out with us whenever you’re free. Now that you two are getting married, we’d love to have you come to whatever you feel comfortable with.”

Lara Jean briefly thinks about declining politely, mentioning that she has the bakery to run and she likes spending her evenings with Peter and Emmi. But she’s going to be Emmi’s stepmother and that means she’s going to be more involved with school events, and so she finds herself nodding without thinking about it. “I’d love to get to know more people. Obviously I don’t know that many moms,” She shrugs, and Amy immediately lights up and promises that she’ll meet them, even if the other moms will be jealous that she’s going to be the youngest person there.

“Amy’s great,” Peter says softly when Amy steps away to answer a phone call from her husband. “And I know this whole parenting thing is new to you, not that I’m asking you to be Emmi’s parent, but —“

“I want to be Emmi’s parent,” Lara Jean says, cutting Peter off with a smile. “We’re getting married, it’s a definite that Juliet wants nothing to do with Emmi, and so I want to be that mother figure she doesn’t have. If you’ll let me.”

Peter’s eyebrows go from united to raised, a smile on his face. “Of course I’ll let you. God, yes,” He nods without hesitation. “And you can take this whole parent responsibilities thing at school as slow as you need to. Just know that the moms are great and they love me so obviously they’re going to love you.”

“They love you because you’re hot,” Lara Jean teases, perching up on her tip toes to kiss him anyway. “The whole being a great guy and a great dad thing is just a bonus.”

“Maybe so,” Peter teases, pulling her into his side. “But I’m all yours,” He laughs, pulling away slightly when Amy returns to their conversation, finally convincing the girls out of the bounce house to go find a place to watch the fireworks.

—

After sweet talking her way into getting ice cream Emmi nestles herself on the blanket they brought between Peter and Lara Jean, sitting up to finish off her treat while Peter and Lara Jean lay down. It’s much more crowded than Lara Jean thought it was going to be, families settling in around them as they wait for the sun to set and the fireworks to start.

Peter’s hand is tracing patterns on Emmi’s back, free hand resting behind his head. He looks over at his fiancé and smiles, fully aware that Lara Jean is just taking everything in.

“Let’s go on vacation,” She says abruptly, quiet enough that Emmi isn’t able to hear them.

Peter looks at her, a mixture of shock and amusement on his face. “What? Where is this coming from?”

Lara Jean smiles sheepishly, shrugging as she leans up on her elbows. “I don’t know, you talked about wanting to go on vacation one week to get Emmi out of camp and I told you to wait until the Fourth of July orders were behind us. And now they are,” She smiles. “I just think maybe we should go away. The three of us together. Without worrying about anyone else or having extended family with us.”

Peter nods, fingers still tracing patterns on Emmi’s back. “Okay, yeah. We can figure out when works best when we get home?” He offers. “I was thinking maybe a beach trip. Just us and the ocean and not having to worry about anything else. And it’s not too far from here if you absolutely need to get back here for work.”

“I haven’t been to the beach in a while,” She says softly, thinking about it before she nods. “Let’s do it. She likes the beach?”

“Loves it,” Peter nods, smiling. “She’s going to die when we tell her we’re going to spend the whole week there, which is why we shouldn’t tell her now. At least not until everything is booked.”

Lara Jean agrees immediately, leaning over to kiss him. Emmi lays in between them when she finishes their ice cream, and while they’re watching the fireworks show with wide eyes and wonder, Lara Jean thinks about how a vacation means they really are becoming a little family, and that makes her more excited than it does nervous.

_______________________________

Lara Jean bites back a laugh as she watches Emmi sweet talk her way into being carried home.

“I’m _so_ tired, Daddy!” She whines, head falling back. “My legs don’t work to walk all the way home!”

Peter sighs, rolling his eyes when he notices Lara Jean is far too amused by this, and then picks Emmi up in his arms. “I shouldn’t give in to your whining. You’re being a bit too dramatic, kid.”

“I’m serious, Daddy. My legs would break if I walked.”

“Em,” Peter sighs, and then shakes his head, deciding it’s not worth the fight.

Lara Jean falls into step beside Peter as they begin their walk home, and by the time they walked into the lobby of his building Lara Jean can’t help but smile at the sight in front of her.

“She’s passed out,” She whispers, pushing Emmi’s hair out of her face, smiling when she takes a deep breath and buries her head into the crook of Peter’s neck.

“That was all a part of my plan,” Peter smirks, stepping into the elevator. “If we let her do whatever she wants for the afternoon, she’d be exhausted by the time it was time to go home. And it’s past her bedtime,” He shrugs, using his free hand to grab his keys from his pocket, handing them to Lara Jean so she can unlock the front door.

“And now that she is passed out, it means that you and I have more time together,” He teases, eyebrows raised as he steps in, toeing off his shoes. He lets Lara Jean remove Emmi’s sandals, leaning down so Lara Jean can kiss her cheek before he disappears down the hallway to put Emmi to bed.

When he returns Lara Jean is wearing his sweatshirt and sweatpants and has her laptop on her lap, smiling over the screen when Peter makes his presence known. “Don’t worry, I’m not doing any wedding planning,” She teases, patting the spot next to her on the sofa. “I’m just. Looking at rentals at the beach. For a week. Hypothetically.”

Peter rolls his eyes, but the smile on his face is enough for Lara Jean to know that he’s not annoyed as his head rests against her shoulder. “What week are you looking at. Hypothetically, of course,” He teases, watching her scroll through available places to rent.

“Second week of August. So you’d have time to request off work. Hypothetically.”

“Right, of course,” Peter nods, reaching over to click on a place that’s available. “What about this one? I mean, it would be a good place for the three of us,” He says, clicking through a two bedroom condo that had pools and was right on the beach. “We wouldn’t have to worry about crossing the street or long walks to the beach or anything.”

“I really like it,” She nods, looking at the price. “And it’s super affordable,” She points out, earning a nod from Peter. “Should we do this?”

Peter sits up, nodding as he grabs his wallet from his back pocket. “I say we do it. We both need a break, it’s been so long since I’ve had a whole week dedicated to just Emmi without having to work, and you need to step away from the bakery for a little while. It’s in more than capable hands, and if everyone else is taking a vacation then so can you.”

“I agree,” Lara Jean nods, kissing him quickly as they book the condo for the week. “God, we’re actually going on a vacation,” She smiles, waiting until the confirmation comes into her inbox before she shuts her laptop and sets it on the coffee table, laying down so her head rests in Peter’s lap.

“Speaking of vacations,” Peter says quietly, fingers tangling in Lara Jean’s hair. “Where are we going to go for our honeymoon?”

Lara Jean hums, eyes fluttering closed as Peter’s fingers massage her scalp. “I’m thinking somewhere tropical. Where we have limited service to talk to people at home.” She parts her eyes just enough to look up at Peter. “Obviously we’d still be able to check in on Emmi.”

“That’s my only wish,” He confirms, a satisfied smile on his face. “I like tropical though. You in a bikini every day? Nothing to do but go to the beach and lay out and drink far too many tropical drinks that we would never drink here? There’s nothing I’d love more.”

“I’m satisfied with a tropical place if you walk around shirtless the whole time. And you don’t worry about anything but just being on our honeymoon. No work, no worrying if Emmi is okay and if she’s having a good time with her mom or Owen or whoever she’s going to stay with.”

“Emmi will not survive a week with Owen. The kid can barely keep himself alive, and he’s in college. She’s staying with my mom,” Peter laughs. “Besides, my mom getting a week uninterrupted with her grandchild? That is her dream. And she’s already claimed that week as Grandma and Emmi week. Which means my kid will be spoiled and our relaxing week away on our honeymoon will be capped off with a child who will have been fed too much candy and probably not enough sleep.”

Lara Jean laughs, reaching out for Peter’s hand. “So it’s settled. A week in a tropical location where all we worry about is wearing the least amount of clothing possible, we don’t think about work, and Emmi will be in the more than capable hands of your mother, even if she comes back a little bit spoiled,” Lara Jean smiles, interlocking their fingers.

Out of everything they had planned for their wedding so far, the celebrations of Fourth of July and planning a family vacation, Peter would be lying if he didn’t admit that the honeymoon is what excited him the most.

A week away with the love of his life after marrying her is exactly the thing he never knew he needed, but something he can’t wait for.

He brings their hands up to his mouth, kissing her soft skin, his lips lingering for a moment. “I love you,” He mumbles, smile growing wider when Lara Jean smiles in reply.

“I love you, too,” She whispers.

Peter never wants these little moments to stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys for reading/leaving kudos/taking the time to comment! still really blown away by how much you guys like this little family i've created in my brain that i was positive no one would love all that much haha.
> 
> sorry this chapter wasn't very emmi heavy, but she will be back soon i promise! i really thought she was in this chapter more haha
> 
> i'm going off of google for Korean wedding traditions so if anything is wrong please let me know! i literally googled korean and american fusion weddings and went off a message board that said how people meshed both so! hopefully those people were accurate omg i'm crossing my fingers
> 
> more will be up soooon! :)
> 
> the title of the chapter is from Summertime Romance by Johnnyswim :)


	7. in the thrill of it all

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emmi plans her birthday, they go bridesmaids and flower girl dress shopping, Lara Jean has drinks with school moms, and Peter proposes a big change.

Emmi’s birthday falls on the last week of August. It was the perfect end to Summer, the last hurrah before school and first grade this year and somehow Peter finds himself more nostalgic than he ever has been for her birthday.

As in he’s been looking through baby photo albums at night nostalgic.

And maybe it’s all the changes that are going to happen to them while she’s 6. That’s how Peter justifies it. She’s gaining a stepmom and there’s going to be a wedding and he knows that these are the last little moments where it’s just the two of them. Where they don’t have anyone else in their lives so permanently. And maybe he finds himself wanting to savor those little moments, no matter how excited he is to marry Lara Jean and how excited Emmi is to have Lara Jean has her stepmom.

“Babe, she’s just turning 6. It’s not like this is a huge milestone birthday,” Lara Jean laughs when she hands him iced tea, falling onto the sofa next to him one night. Peter nods, mostly because he knows he’s being ridiculous about all of this, and then turns the page to Emmi’s first birthday party.

“I just can’t believe she’s already turning 6. I remember days like these like they happened yesterday,” He mumbles, pointing at a photo of him and Emmi at her first birthday, running through the sprinklers in his mom’s backyard with cousins Lara Jean recognized. “She was so tiny and she laughed at everything I did and she was _always_ smiling.”

“She still is always smiling.”

“Yeah,” Peter shrugs, flipping the page again, “but she’s also got this little sass now. She didn’t have that when she was 1.”

Lara Jean laughs, head falling against his shoulder. “You’ve done a good job, Peter. And her turning 6 is going to be great. She’s going to be a little more independent and she’s going to learn so much more in first grade and you’re not going to be pushed away from all that.”

Peter nods, flipping through the rest of the photo album before setting it back on the shelf where he kept them all, settling back on the sofa and turning on a movie to watch with Lara Jean, desperately trying to push out of his mind that his kid was growing up faster than he was ready for.

_______________________________

Emmi is practically bouncing in her seat at the breakfast table with excitement at the prospect of planning a birthday party.

“I want to have it at the trampoline park!” She exclaims around a mouthful of cereal, looking up at Peter. “Like where Brayden had his. It was so fun, Daddy!”

“We can do that,” Peter nods, sliding into his spot at the table and handing Lara Jean her coffee. “I think we’ll have your party the week after we come back from the beach, okay?”

Emmi nods quickly, taking another bite of cereal. “Before school starts?”

“The weekend before school starts,” Peter confirms, packing up the rest of Emmi’s lunch for camp.

“You know, Em, I could make you cupcakes or a cake for your birthday party,” Lara Jean offers, finishing off the rest of her coffee and standing up. “We could make your favorites.”

“Really?” Emmi asks, sliding off her chair and bringing her bowl over to the sink. “We can make them for my party?”

Lara Jean smiles, swiftly pulling Emmi’s hair up into a bun so she’s ready for camp. “Sure. We can pick your favorite flavor one weekend and pick if you want a cake or cupcakes. Then you can have them at your party.”

Emmi’s smile only grows wider, twisting around to hug Lara Jean. “You’re the best, Lara Jean! I love you!”

“Love you too, peanut. Have a good day at camp.”

Emmi goes to find her sneakers to slip on so Peter can tie them, giving Peter a minute in the kitchen alone with his fiancé. “Are you sure you don’t mind baking a cake for her birthday party? You have enough special orders to worry about.”

“Why would I not want to bake Emmi’s birthday treats?” Lara Jean smiles, leaning against the counter. “I know I have a lot going on at work, but I am going to be her stepmom. We’ll find time, we’ll make her treats and it’ll be perfect.”

“You’re too good to her,” He laughs, kissing her quickly. “I’ll pay you.”

“You’re _not_ paying me to make Emmi’s birthday cake.”

Peter looks like he’s going to argue, but looks at Lara Jean’s face and notices that she’s not going to take a different answer, and so he relents. “Okay, fine. But know that I am extremely grateful for you and everything you do for us.”

Lara Jean knows this, but she leans up and kisses him anyway, the smile on her face growing. “I love you. And I will always do anything for the two of you,” She reminds him, laughing when Emmi calls for him to come tie her shoes.

She finishes getting ready for work by herself, saying a quick goodbye to Emmi and Peter on their way out the door, leaving a note on the fridge for the two of them that she loves them and she’d be there for dinner for them to find when they get home from their days.

This was a routine Lara Jean found herself loving.

_______________________________

“So Lara Jean was invited out by the moms at Emmi’s school?” Gabe asks, he and Peter meeting for lunch in the middle of their hectic work days. “That’s like… a huge acceptance into the parents world at schools, isn’t it?”

Peter laughs, taking a bite of his sandwich and nodding. “I mean, yeah. Those moms have always been really close. But they’re great and Lara Jean will definitely fit in. Although I think she’s pretty nervous about it.”

“She’s going to go though, right? I mean she is going to be Emmi’s stepmom, maybe it’ll make her feel a little more welcomed into the whole parenting group rather than being thrown into it.”

“How are you so wise about this?” Peter laughs, reaching for his drink. “I think she’s going to go. She seemed a little worried about it when Amy texted me asking for her number so she could ask, but I told her that they’d be more than welcoming and she might have a good time.”

“You’re very persuasive when you want to be," Gabe smiles. “I’m sure it’ll be fine. She’ll have a good time and you can be super smug about being right this whole time.”

“That is a really good proposition,” Peter smiles.

“So, how is wedding planning going?” Gabe asks after a beat, looking over at his best friend. “You dying yet thinking about all the little details?”

Peter rolls his eyes, chewing his sandwich before he replies. “There’s so many little things. We've picked invitations and we're going to send them out, picked decor and centerpieces and florists we like so we can go talk to them about prices. I feel like it’s never ending.”

“I remember when my sister got married,” Gabe smiles. “She was stressed up until like 5 minutes before the ceremony. But you and Lara Jean are probably much more organized, even though she had a wedding planner. You’ll figure it out and it’ll be amazing.”

“I know,” Peter nods, reaching for his drink. “Honestly at the end of the day if we’re married, I really don’t care about anything else.”

“It’s going to be the best party, I hope you know that,” Gabe smirks. And Peter knows he’s not lying — Gabe is kind of infamous for his high school parties that haven’t changed as they got older — but he doesn’t egg him on or ask for the most insane wedding reception Gabe can muster.

It’s the one night he thinks he’d be more than willing to welcome a more adult-like party.

_______________________________

Lara Jean isn’t really sure what she expected when she booked their bridesmaids dress shopping day.

Margot had been unable to make it, she and Ravi having a wedding for one of their friends that they made since moving down to North Carolina. And it was fine, really, Lara Jean had assured her that they could just go to the store the next time she was home visiting and it would work out. The saleswoman, Nicole, they had been working with assured her that that would be fine, that they could make all of this work.

So instead it’s just her, Kitty, Chris, Zoe and Jenna at the store this morning, Emmi tagging along so they could find her flower girl dress while they were at it. And she’s staying positive about it, really, picking out a few different styles of bridesmaids dresses that come in the shade of blue she had been eyeing, having Nicole hang them up just outside their wing of dressing rooms for the girls to try on.

“If you all want to wear different styles that’s fine, I’d just prefer that they’re long and they all have to be that color,” Lara Jean says as she sits down in a chair while the girls change, Emmi pulling herself up onto her lap.

“After they pick their dresses we’re going to pick mine?” She asks quietly, fingers running through Lara Jean’s hair.

Lara Jean smiles, smoothing down Emmi’s curls she hadn’t had time to style that morning, nodding. “We are. I’m actually going to ask Nicole if she can pick out a few dresses you can try on, okay?”

Emmi’s face lights up as Lara Jean calls Nicole over, scrolling through her phone until she finds a photo of her wedding dress. “Do you have any flower girl dresses in her size that’s similar to this? Obviously not exactly the same, but fits this theme.”

Nicole looks at the photo for a moment, smiling as she nods. “I think we have a few that would be perfect for her,” She promises, disappearing through the store as Emmi leans back against Lara Jean’s chest, watching the girls come out in the different styles of dresses.

“I’m not going to lie, the lace one shoulder is really cute, Lara Jean,” Chris says as she looks at Zoe wearing the dress.” Kind of want to try that one on.”

“Then do it,” Lara Jean shrugs, finger twisted around one of Emmi’s curls. “I’m pretty sure you’d look amazing in that dress.”

Chris does, naturally, and after some debate about Kitty wearing a different style dress because she’s the maid of honor they all agree it doesn’t matter, and the four of them end up all choosing the one shoulder with the lace detail that Lara Jean secretly loved the most. She took a photo with Kitty in it, sending it off to Margot for her approval. Margot sends back a thumbs up in approval, promising that she’d be up in a few weeks to try it on and get it ordered so Lara Jean doesn’t have to worry about it.

“Okay, peanut. Let’s go try on some of the dresses Nicole picked out for you,” Lara Jean smiles, patting Emmi as she lifts her off her lap and back onto the ground. She leads her into the dressing room with three different options, pulling the first one over Emmi’s head and letting her look in the mirror.

“It’s really poofy,” Emmi mumbles, but lets Lara Jean lead her out of the dressing room anyway where the girls are waiting, their opinions mirroring Emmi’s.

They move back into the dressing room, trying on the second dress. Lara Jean turns Emmi around, smiling when Emmi gasps at herself in the mirror. “This one is my favorite.”

“You still have one more to try on!”

“But Lara Jean, look at this one!” Emmi argues, twirling around with the biggest smile on her face. “It looks like your dress!”

Lara Jean bites back a smile, agreeing that it does sort of look like her dress, and then leads Emmi out to where the girls are waiting.

“Emmi, this is my favorite dress,” Kitty smiles, laughing when Emmi turns around to stare at Lara Jean with an _I told you so_ look.

“You look so pretty, Em!” Chris smiles, Zoe and Jenna quickly agreeing.

“Okay Em, is this the dress you want to wear in the wedding?” Lara Jean asks, ignoring the unworn dress hanging in the dressing room.

Emmi looks in the full-length mirror one final time, giving it one final twirl as she smiles. “Yes! This is the one I want to wear!”

Lara Jean agrees to it, forcing Emmi to stand still for a photo before leading her back into the dressing room and helping her get changed. “Can we show Daddy my dress?” She asks, and immediately Lara Jean agrees.

While waiting for all of the orders to be in Lara Jean texts Peter the photo, smiling.

_Look at our little flower girl in her dress!_

Peter replies back minutes later once Lara Jean has Emmi successfully in her seat, climbing into the drivers seat with Kitty sitting beside her, talking to Emmi.

_Oh my god. She’s gorgeous. She’s little going to kill me at this wedding. Between you and her I’m going to die. Where did my little girl go :(_

_Don’t worry, she and Kitty are currently talking about blowing bubbles into their drinks when we go to lunch. She’s definitely still your little girl. See you at lunch :)_

Lara Jean doesn’t turn on the radio on the way to the restaurant where they’re meeting Peter and Owen for lunch, but instead laughs at the conversation happening between Emmi and Kitty, reminding herself that that little girl in the back seat is gaining a whole family who’s going to shower her with more love than she’s ever had before.

_______________________________

“Peter, I don’t know,” Lara Jean sighs, tossing her shoes by the front door and tying her hair up into a bun. “I had a long day at work and I don’t even know these women! They could hate me and it would be so awkward when I do start getting more involved at school.”

Peter sighs, chewing on the corner of his lip as he sits on the edge of the sofa. “First of all, you have met Amy,” He argues, but it’s weak and Lara Jean just stares at him, shaking her head. “And the rest of the moms are great! Super welcoming. Honestly, they’ll just be super happy I found someone. And when they realize our history, they’ll love you even more.”

Lara Jean crosses her arm over her chest, mind scrambling for some sort of excuse to not have to go. It’s not that she didn’t like Amy or she wanted to avoid being more involved in fear that something would go wrong, it’s just. It’s a big step. And one that’s terrifying in her brain because when she thought about becoming a mother she always thought she’d have the kid. She’d raise them from the newborn stage and she’d meet these moms at school organically at school drop offs or fundraising events.

But there is no excuse that would get past Peter, at least not one that wouldn’t take some foiling with Chris that she hadn’t bothered to do at work, and so she huffs. “Fine, I’ll go,” She agrees, biting back a smile when Peter does a celebratory dance and leans down to kiss her as he stands up.

“You’re going to love them, I promise,” He says, squeezing her sides and kissing her again for good measure.

Lara Jean just mumbles that she’s going to find something to wear that’s not covered in flour, disappearing into Peter’s bedroom after saying hello to Emmi in her room on her way by.

—

The moms offer to meet at a bar downtown, not too far from the bakery. Lara Jean’s heart hammers in her chest the whole walk there, and for most of the blocks she thinks about ducking into the bakery and working in silence, lying to Peter about the outing when she got home later that evening.

But she doesn’t, and after hovering outside the bar door for what some may think was a questionable amount of time, she forces herself to go inside, immediately scanning the semi-crowded bar for Amy, the only mom she knows.

Amy spots her first, standing up from her chair and waving Lara Jean over. She introduces her to the two other moms there, Jess and Kate, and Lara Jean sinks into the seat beside Amy, ordering herself a cocktail when the waitress returns.

The conversation comes easy, Lara Jean finds. Jess talks about how her daughter Violet is jealous of Emmi’s braids that Lara Jean does in the mornings before school, and promptly asks if Lara Jean can give her tips. They talk about school and how Lara Jean is going to love the activities that the school puts on on the weekends whenever she has time to come.

They rave about the bakery, stating that they didn’t know it was her that owned it but that they stop in from time to time. Normally Lara Jean is sheepish about compliments, often finding that they’re saying it because they think they should, but the moms seem sincere and even ask about special orders for birthdays and Lara Jean immediately agrees, saying that they can definitely work something out.

“So, how is wedding planning going? I remember how stressful it was when I was getting married, I can’t even imagine how it is now,” Jess comments, reaching into the center of the table for a snack.

Lara Jean sighs, gives a smile that feels more like a grimace, and shrugs. “There’s just a lot to do,” She admits quietly. “I feel like once we cross something off the list just ends up getting longer. But we’re making really good progress and I know it’ll all come together with time. And we have a lot of time. Until June.”

“You’ll get it all done in that time,” Kate reassures her. “It may not seem like it now, but it’ll all fall together and you’ll have the best day,” She promises.

“Peter mentioned that you guys were high school sweethearts,” Amy teases, nudging her elbow against Lara Jean’s arm. “But how did you find your way back to each other?”

“You guys were high school sweethearts?” Kate asks, eyebrows raised.

Lara Jean nods, swallowing an onion ring she had plucked from the center of the table before answering. “We went to school together since we were young. We were good friends in middle school and then lost touch. We uh, fake dated junior year. And then got together a few months after fake dating, and then we were together until junior year of college.”

“You fake dated?!” Amy asks, amusement written on her face.

Lara Jean nods sheepishly, feeling the blush creep up on her face. She tells the abbreviated version of the story, leaving out the notes that she wrote, and then looks back up at them and waits for the lighthearted jabs or teasing at how it all happened.

But they all share a glance, and Kate shrugs. “That’s actually really romantic. Even if it didn’t work out for the long run,” She says softly, and then stops herself. “I mean, I guess it did work out eventually. So, how are you back together now?”

Lara Jean takes a sip of her cocktail, slowly feeling herself relax into the conversation. “He came into the bakery,” She laughs. “It was a few months after we opened, and we were pretty close to closing so I was working out front. I noticed him before he noticed me, but we kind of just clicked again. Like no time had passed since we had last seen each other.”

She talks about meeting Emmi, how it just seemed like fate that they were supposed to be together again, and how happy their families are that they had reconnected. She shows off her ring, laughs when the other moms say that they’re jealous and they had no idea how great Peter would be at picking out rings, and it all feels a lot like Lara Jean blew this all out of proportion when she envisioned how this night out was going to go.

“When we first met Peter, Emmi was 4 and he was a very stressed out dad,” Amy says quietly, looking between Jess and Kate before shifting back to Lara Jean. “It took us a while to realize that he was a single dad, obviously it’s not something you ask, but it kind of all clicked. He was doing so much for Emmi, and some nights we’d see him still in a shirt and tie from work at an art show or a school even that he didn’t want Emmi to have to miss.”

Lara Jean nods, sipping on her cocktail and reveling in hearing about her fiancé and a side of him he doesn’t talk about with her all that often.

“We always hoped that he would find someone who put him at ease, made it a little easier for him so he wasn’t running in a million different directions.”

“We used to tease that if he didn’t find someone for himself, we had more than enough women who would want to date him,” Kate interjects, the four of them laughing.

Jess takes a sip of her drink, smiling. “We’re glad he found his way back to you. It was a noticeable change when you guys started dating. And it took us a while to get it out of him, but we kind of see him as a little brother. We want what’s best for him, want him to have someone who he doesn’t have to compromise for. And it’s very obvious that you’re that person.”

“That’s all I’ve ever wanted to be,” Lara Jean admits, staring at the grain on the table. “He’s always been like that a little bit. Not asking for help, just kind of stressing and somehow fitting it all in, and I knew that if I was going to get back with him I’d have to figure out how to manage all of that. Help him with not being like that so much,” She says softly. Almost like she’s revealing too much to these women who clearly know Peter much better than Lara Jean thought they would.

But when she looks up all three women have smiles on their faces, ones that somehow bring comfort to Lara Jean. “You two are perfect for each other,” Kate smiles. “And the fact that I can say that after just meeting you really means that it’s meant to be.”

Lara Jean smiles, lets them change the subject to school events and their daughters and how they’re all friends with Emmi, and by the end of the night Lara Jean feels like maybe she could make this a regular thing, and she definitely made the right decision by going.

_______________________________

Peter is hovering halfway between awake and asleep on the sofa when Lara Jean quietly slips back into his apartment, deciding to spend the night with him. She smiles at the sight as she walks in the door, mouth partly open and arm hanging off the edge, his t-shirt riding up and exposing his stomach.

His eyes slide open when he hears the door click shut, forcing himself to sit up.

“You’re getting weak, Kavinsky. It’s barely 10 and you’re already asleep on the couch,” She smiles when as she slips off her heels, leaving them by the door.

“I had the longest day at work and while you went out I had a 5 year old who apparently took crazy pills at camp because she was the most energetic little gremlin ever.”

Lara Jean smiles, sliding underneath Peter’s head as he rests against her lap, her fingers running through his hair. “I’m sure she wasn’t that bad. You just had a long day, too,” She insists, but Peter just hums in response.

“You were right, by the way,” She says quietly after a minute, taking in the quietness of the apartment. “Jess and Kate were great. Not at all intimidating or anything.”

“I told you you’d love them,” Peter says, stifling a yawn as his eyes flutter shut. “You had a good time then? They weren’t too ruthless?”

He feels Lara Jean laugh. “Not at all. They love the ring, by the way,” She mumbles, fingernails scratching at his scalp. “And they said that they’re really happy that you found someone to balance you out.”

She watches the smile on Peter’s face grow. “Well they’re not wrong about that,” He admits quietly. “You really do balance me out.”

“I do my best.”

The silence falls between them again, but it isn’t uncomfortable. Lara Jean’s free hand interlaces with Peter’s, her other hand still running through his hair. She craves moments like these. Where it’s just the two of them and they don’t have to worry about anything or anyone else. Wedding planning is far from their minds, they can just focus on being together.

Even if it means Peter is half asleep on her lap.

“While you were gone, I was thinking,” Peter says after a while, his voice startling Lara Jean when she thought he was asleep. “We should find a place together. Like move in together. Before the wedding.”

And sure, Lara Jean had thought about it on more than one occasion. Her lease was up in October on her place, and it seemed silly to renew it if she was getting married. The three of them weren’t going to fit in her place, so there wasn’t even an option of having them move in with her.

“Are you asleep right now?” She asks, half expecting him to not answer.

But he laughs, yawning and sitting up so he can look at her. “I’m serious,” He says, the smile on his face growing wider. “You spend a lot of your time here anyway, and we _are_ getting married. It seems silly to have two places. And obviously, the whole living together before marriage thing is kind of out the window with me.”

Lara Jean laughs, chewing on the corner of her lip. “My lease is up in October,” She says out loud, noticing Peter smile out of the corner of her eye. “Would you want me to move in here? Or a completely different place in general?”

Peter shrugs, fingers toying with a frayed part of the blanket hung on the back of the sofa. “I was thinking a new place?” He offers. “A fresh start.”

There's a beat of pause, and then Peter looks at her again. “If you don’t want to, we don’t have to. I know you liked tradition, and if that means waiting for the wedding or at least closer to it then I don’t mind at all,” He says quickly.

Lara Jean smiles, fingers dancing along his arm that’s draped over the back of the sofa. “I want to move in with you,” She says softly. Almost quiet enough that Peter can’t understand her. “I want to live with you now, I just. Moving is a lot. And Emmi is about to start school. Do you think we do it now?”

“There really isn’t going to be a good time,” Peter counters. Lara Jean knows he’s right. “Emmi’s in camp now, which is basically the same thing as school. And yes, it’ll be difficult to move two places into one, and Emmi is going to have an adjustment period, but there’s plenty of places around here that are for rent that we could get. Maybe a little more space?”

Lara Jean nods. She doesn’t say that they should look at extra bedrooms in case they have kids, but it doesn’t need to be said. She can see it written on Peter’s face, she’s seen the way he lights up when people talk about them having kids in the future even though he says they haven’t really talked about it. They both know it’ll happen, that it’s something they both want.

“Okay, yeah,” Lara Jean nods, leaning forward to kiss Peter just because she can. “We can talk to Emmi about it? I want to make sure she’s on board with me moving in this early before we do it.”

Peter smiles, catching his hand in hers and interlocking their fingers. “You know she won’t mind.”

“Maybe not, but I know that when my dad asked Trina to move in with us it meant a lot that he thought to make sure we were okay with it.”

“Okay,” Peter nods. He knows it’s not an argument he’s going to win, not one that he should even bother fighting her on, and so instead he just kisses the back of her hand, smiling. “We can talk to her about it tomorrow.”

Lara Jean nods, somehow ushers Peter to bed despite the fact that it looks like he’s going to sleep on the couch he’s too tired to move. And as she returns to his bed after washing her face and changing into pajamas she curls up against him, drifting off to sleep thinking about how living together means moments like these every single night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wowww talk about a long summary omg. i didn't realize that much happened in this chapter!
> 
> thank you guys so much for reading/commenting/leaving kudos! you guys are all the best <3
> 
> [here](http://www.cubejelly.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/500x667/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/2/8/28002026.jpg) is a link to the bridesmaids dresses
> 
> and [here](https://images.prod.meredith.com/product/5b10af271dbc39637f2b7b32d3c06b6c/1522209800598/l/flower-girl-dresses-floor-length-flower-girls-ivory-dress-lace-dress-rustic-flower-girl-dress-boho-flower-girl-dress-vintage-flower-girl) is a link to the flower girl dress! :)
> 
> more will be up soooon!
> 
> the title of the chapter is from The Thrill of it All by Sam Smith


	8. lucky I'm in love with my best friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lara Jean, Peter and Emmi go on vacation; Peter and Lara Jean start looking for places; and Lara Jean meets Trina for lunch

There was something about being at the beach that relaxed Lara Jean.

She couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but since she was a little girl there was something about digging her toes into the sand and spending hours out in the warm sunshine that calmed her down, made it a little easier to breathe amongst the chaos in her life.

She needed a break from the bakery. It was hard for her to accept it, to not refute her friends and coworkers claims when they insisted that they’d be fine for a week without her, that she needed a break to come back refreshed. She spent the night before they left anxious that something would happen to the bakery if she wasn’t there, and it was like nothing Peter said would help her.

Eventually he coaxed her to sleep, promising her that they were within a reasonable distance to drive home if anything were to happen. And when she woke up the next morning she felt a little better about it all, like this vacation was going to rejuvenate her and let her come back to work feeling a lot lighter and less stressed than she currently was.

She finds a spot on the sand and sits down, setting her and Emmi’s sandals down next to her. Down by the water Emmi and Peter ran from the waves back to the sand, her laughs echoing through the light breeze. And for as exhausted as Lara Jean is, she can’t stop watching the scene in front of her, never wanting it to end.

She digs her toes underneath the sand and watches as Peter spins Emmi in his arms, her head falling back in laughter as they walk towards the waters edge. He dips her toes in, lifting her up almost as fast as he put her down. She watches the pair that had once been alone, once without her, and admires it for a while.

There was a lot changing between them. Emmi had taken it in stride, naturally, seeming to love the addition of having Lara Jean there. Lara Jean isn’t naive, she knows that her moving in will probably cause some tension and a little bit of an adjusting period, but she has faith. Just like she had adjusted to Trina moving in with them, she thinks Emmi will adjust to having Lara Jean live with them.

She and Peter hadn’t asked Emmi how she feels about them moving. They thought about doing it the night after they discussed it, asking her over breakfast or maybe taking her out for a special dinner, but they never did. Time got away from them, work had been busy in preparation to take this vacation, and so both agreed that they would ask her tonight at dinner.

By the time Emmi and Peter stand in front of Lara Jean ready to go get settled into their apartment and get ready for dinner, Emmi’s cheeks are tinged red and Peter looks at his fiancé sheepishly. “She has sunscreen on,” He promises. “We were just running around a lot. Look, her shoulders and arms are fine,” He says, and Emmi quickly shows off her skin, Lara Jean nodding.

She stands up from the sand, taking Emmi’s hand in hers as they slip their shoes back on, walking back up to the street to go find their car. Lara Jean can hear the seagulls behind them, watches the families walking to dinner or back from the beach, and feels herself relax.

She’s going to find a way to enjoy this vacation without worrying too much.

—

Peter takes the girls to his favorite restaurant in town, a semi-fancy one with the best pasta he can ever remember having. He insisted that they make it at least a semi-nice dinner for when they ask Emmi, not that he thinks she’s going to be against them moving in together a little earlier than maybe they thought.

Peter waits until Emmi’s done coloring in her menu, handing her her chocolate milk and sharing a glance with Lara Jean, giving her the best comforting smile he can muster. “Hey Ems, can we talk to you about something real quick?” He asks, watching as Emmi nods quickly, looking between the two of them.

“How would you feel about moving into another apartment? But Lara Jean moves in with us?”

“Like we’d all live together?” Emmi asks after a moment, looking between the two of them.

Lara Jean smiles, nodding. “Instead of waiting until it’s almost the wedding to move in with you guys, we would just move now. Would you be okay with that?”

“I would still go to my school? With all my friends?”

“We’re not going to move away from your school, I promise. We’ll just move into a bigger apartment so that we can all live together,” Peter promises, smoothing down Emmi’s hair with his hand.

Emmi seems to be mulling it over for a moment, setting her cup back on the table. “I really want Lara Jean to live with us all the time,” She says quietly, looking over towards Lara Jean. “Can we all move in together now?”

“If you’re absolutely sure that you’re okay with it,” Lara Jean smiles.

“I really want it,” She smiles, and as Lara Jean and Peter share a glance, Lara Jean knows it’s really happening.

_______________________________

The vacation turns out to be exactly what all three of them needed. Lara Jean admits that she hasn’t felt this relaxed in years, or maybe at least since the bakery opened a year ago. Peter welcomes the break from work, sporadically checking in on his email when Emmi is asleep or she and Lara Jean are hanging out, but the break from being in the office helps clear his mind and focus on his daughter.

Emmi had been the one who least felt the benefits based on her normal routine, but even Peter was able to tell that her not being in camp and being with him all day meant less tantrums, a happier Emmi, and a better vacation. Emmi was thriving being out of camp, away with just her dad and Lara Jean and all their attention, and it made Peter wish he could have this happen more.

They spend their days between the beach and the pool, Emmi constantly in the water or building sandcastles by the waters edge. Lara Jean checks in on the bakery every so often, catches up on her reading, and watches as Peter builds the biggest sandcastle he can manage, the waves washing it away as the sun begins to set over the horizon.

“Look how big it is, Lara Jean! Daddy built the biggest sandcastle on the whole beach!” Emmi exclaims, sand sticking to her body as she stands up and runs to Lara Jean when she notices her coming to join them.

“He did, didn’t he? He’s a really good sandcastle builder, huh?” Lara Jean smiles, watching as Emmi nods in agreement and the waves crash in again, taking more of the sandcastle with it.

“I didn’t know you were such a good sandcastle builder,” Lara Jean admits as she looks at her fiancé, laughing when the smile on his face grows wider.

“What can I say, Covey. You’re marrying a man of many talents,” He smirks, laughing harder when Lara Jean shoves his shoulder.

Emmi seems to be over their conversation, running down to the waters edge and jumping as the waves crash at her feet. “No deeper, Emmi,” Peter calls, earning a nod from his daughter as she stays put, jumping at each wave that passes by.

“This is exactly what we needed,” Lara Jean mumbles, letting Peter pull her against his sticky side from being out in the sun. “Not having to worry about anything, being able to give Emmi our full attention.”

“I’m glad you suggested this,” Peter hums in agreement. Lara Jean can feel his lips press to the top of her head. She leans back, kissing his salty lips and wrapping her arms around his middle. “I love you.”

“Love you more,” Lara Jean mumbles, but as the sun starts to disappear over the horizon out in the ocean and Emmi has retreated back closer to them, leaning against Peter’s legs as she kicks the water that laps at their feet, Lara Jean doesn’t know how she could love anything more than she loves this moment.

—

The three of them are sun-kissed by the third day, Emmi’s skin turning somehow darker the longer they played outside. Lara Jean finds it hard to keep her hands off Peter, who’s skin has turned that tanned color she remembers him having back when they were in high school and would spend their summers going on adventures together when Peter didn’t have to help his mom at the store.

They’ve attempted to cook dinner most nights, although when they get back from the beach and Peter offers to just order pizza Lara Jean immediately agrees, ushering Emmi into the bathroom to get her in the bath and get the sand washed off her.

“Lara Jean,” Emmi says, pouring a cup of water over her head. “I really like being on vacation with you. And you being her all the time when I wake up and when I go to bed. I want to stay here forever.”

Lara Jean smiles, reaching for the shampoo on the corner of the tub. “I like being on vacation with you too, peanut,” She replies quietly, gently massaging the shampoo into Emmi’s scalp, not wanting to bother with the fight to get her to do it herself. “But you know, we are going to be living together soon. So I’ll be there all the time instead of just sometimes like I am now.”

Emmi smiles, closing her eyes as Lara Jean washes the shampoo out of her hair. “You’re going to live with us right when we get home?”

“Probably not right away, babe. But we’re going to find a place to live when we get back home and it’ll happen soon.”

Emmi nods, playing in the bath for a few more minutes until Peter goes to get the pizza from downstairs, which is when she agrees to get out and lets Lara Jean braid her hair once she’s in her pajamas and ready for bed.

Emmi doesn’t fight bedtime on vacation, too exhausted from spending the entire day out in the sun and in the water, and Peter returns back to the living room to find Lara Jean on her laptop once Emmi is tucked into the guest room bed.

“What are you doing?” He smiles, falling onto the sofa and stifling a yawn beside her, his head falling to her shoulder. “You’re looking at new apartments?”

“Emmi might have mentioned that she was excited about us all living together and how she never wants to leave here because she likes that I’m here when she goes to bed and when she wakes up,” Lara Jean says softly, scrolling through the website slowly, opening apartments she thinks look nice up into a new tab.

“So you decided to start looking for places while we’re on vacation?”

Lara Jean laughs softly, shoulder shaking as she does so. “I guess,” She says softly, looking through the photos of one apartment. “I mean, how could I say no to moving in quicker with Emmi?”

“And not me?”

“You’re a really good bonus,” She promises, leaning in for a kiss when Peter lifts his head to look at her.

Peter looks through the photos with Lara Jean for a while, mumbling comments here and there about what they were looking at. “I think we should have at least three bedrooms,” He finally says quietly when Lara Jean opens up a two bedroom apartment, stopping her before she got too attached. “You know, for Kitty or Owen or Margot and Ravi or whatever.”

“Or a nursery,” Lara Jean says softly. Her fingers move to scroll through more apartments, but it’s like they won’t work and quietly she waits for Peter’s response.

“So you want kids with me?” He says, and Lara Jean can practically hear the smugness and the smirk dripping off his words, but she can’t suppress her smile.

“I mean, Emmi is pretty great. I think we could make a kid that’s at least half as good as her.”

Peter laughs, burying his head against her bare shoulder. “For the record, I want kids with you. As many as you want,” He says softly, voice muffled. “And I’m cool if you want to wait a little bit or if you want to have them right away. I mean we are pretty young.”

Lara Jean hums in response, clicking on an apartment with three bedrooms that’s modern, flicking through the pictures. “I like this one.”

“Keep it on the list,” Peter mumbles, reaching out to stop her from scrolling. “It’s a good layout. We’d be able to see Emmi and any future children in the living room while we’re making dinner or whatever. And it’s near Emmi’s school and we’d still be able to walk her and get to work relatively easily.”

Lara Jean nods, adding the site to her bookmarks tab as she looks through a few others. They narrow down their search, find a few favorites, and when Lara Jean realizes Peter isn’t far from sleep she shuts her laptop and sets it down on the coffee table, letting Peter’s head fall to her lap and her fingers run through his hair.

“Emmi has been asking to be a big sister since she realized what a big sister was,” Peter says quietly after a moment, his breath warm against Lara Jean’s bare legs. “She would constantly ask if I could give her a little brother or sister, if we could have another kid so she could help with the baby and become best friends with them. And for a while I didn’t think I was going to be able to give her one. At least not while she was young and there wouldn’t be a huge age gap.”

“You really thought you’d never find another girl you could spend the rest of your life with?” Lara Jean asks quietly. There’s a hint of amusement behind her words, but for the most part Lara Jean is serious when she asks.

Because yes, Peter is a hopeless romantic and maybe he falls too hard or too fast sometimes for girls he feels a connection with, but he’s also the guy every girl dreams of having when they think of someone who’s pretty close to perfect. And if it wasn’t her that had made her way back to him, she can think of a million other girls who would want to be with him.

Peter yawns, burying his head against her thighs. “I don’t know,” He admits softly. “I guess maybe I got so used to the fact that dating usually ended in disaster when they found out I had Emmi. I mean being in your early 20s with a toddler isn’t exactly husband material to most people our age. They’re not looking to become stepparents at 22.”

“Emmi would’ve drawn them in,” Lara Jean argues, teasing.

Peter laughs, and Lara Jean can see the corners of his mouth twitch up into a smile. “She always does, doesn’t she?” He smiles, then turns to face Lara Jean. “It’s how I won you back, isn’t it? You weren’t getting back with me because you realized after all these years you still love me, you got back with me because my 5 year old won you over with her adorable face and hilarious personality.”

“While Emmi’s personality and adorable face is a huge bonus in this relationship, I must admit that my feelings for you never left,” She smiles, fingers tracing his cheeks. “Emmi was just a nice bonus in this.”

“I’ll accept that answer, Covey, but just know that I’m not entirely convinced.”

Lara Jean just rolls her eyes, the smile on her face growing as she leans down to kiss him. “Our kids will be just as great as Emmi, mark my words.”

Peter smiles, reaching up to run his fingers through her hair, and agrees to it.  
And while maybe it wasn’t a formal talk about having kids and their futures together, it was enough.

Peter couldn’t stop thinking about becoming a dad again, this time with Lara Jean as his wife. It was everything he dreamed about when they were long distance in college. Counting down the days until they were back together again, dreaming about the days when they were both college graduates and they could get a cute apartment they struggled to afford and start their lives together for real.

Things didn’t pan out, obviously. After the breakup Peter forced himself to stop checking in on Lara Jean, forced himself to stop thinking about what could have been. On the long nights where Emmi was teething and he offered to stay up so Juliet didn’t have to he tried not to think about what life would be like if he had lasted with Lara Jean. If they were taking turns going to soothe Emmi.

But now he _was_ marrying Lara Jean, who was becoming a stepmom to his daughter, and they both agreed that they wanted kids together when the time was right. And for all the bad things he had to go through, all those rough nights where he wished he could call Lara Jean and talk things through or ask for help like he would’ve just a few years prior, he was the happiest he had ever been now.

He’s on vacation with his fiancé and daughter, they’re looking at apartments to live in together, and before they knew it they would be married.

Things were only getting better with time.

_______________________________

Three days after they return from their beach vacation more relaxed and rested than they have been in months — years, even — Lara Jean meets Trina for lunch in the city.

It’s a girls day that she had been longing for, the lunch dates reminiscent of when Trina would drive the few hours with Kitty for a long weekend down at UNC visiting Lara Jean. They were fairly frequent in the months after Lara Jean and Peter broke up, and while Lara Jean never explicitly said it out loud, she thinks Trina realizes those dates meant more to her than she could ever express, especially after the worst breakup she was convinced she’d ever go through.

They catch up on their lives over drinks after they order lunch. Lara Jean recaps their vacation at the beach, talking about their days spent at the beach and how Emmi loved having all their attention to herself without the bakery or Peter’s job getting in the way, how they relished in just being together and getting away from the hustle of the city for a short period of time, even if they were longing for it this week as they got back into the swing of things.

“And Peter and I have decided we’re going to find a place together now,” Lara Jean says softly, reaching to take a sip of her drink.

Trina, who had always been a go with the flow type of person, smiles at Lara Jean with raised eyebrows. “Now? You’re not waiting until closer to the wedding?”

“Well my lease is up in October, and Peter thinks maybe we should just bite the bullet now. Move in together so we’re at least settled in well before the wedding. There really isn’t going to be a good time to do it, so why not just go for it?”

“Do _you_ want to move in this early?”

“Of course,” Lara Jean answers without hesitation. “I spend more time at their place than my own apartment, and living together would make things a million times easier. I know we’re making the right decision doing it now.”

Trina nods, and for a split second Lara Jean thinks maybe she doesn’t agree with the fact that they’re moving in together now.

“I don’t see a reason why you shouldn’t. Your dad and I moved in before the wedding. You have to do what’s best for all of you,” She smiles. Lara Jean relaxes. “I take it Emmi is pretty excited about you guys all living under one roof?”

Lara Jean smiles around her cup, nodding. “She’s over the moon about it, at least for now,” She takes a sip, chewing on the inside of her lip. “I’m just worried that once we do move in together the excitement will wear off and she won’t want me there all the time. Like a lot is going to change for her, and I don’t want to be a main contributor to that.”

“It’s going to be weird for her, having you there all the time,” Trina agrees immediately. “It was pretty weird when I moved in, wasn’t it?”

Lara Jean nods. “I guess so. I guess I just hadn’t thought about how being a step parent would go over, you know? And this last week when we were on vacation had me thinking about it a lot more. Vacations are always going to be with them, and I’m going to have a little different role in her life than I do now.”

Trina smiles, because she’s been in this exact position before and it feels like the one thing she’s qualified to talk about. “You just have to take it day by day. You are not Emmi’s birth mother. And I know she’s not in the picture, but when it comes to asking her what to do or taking over for Peter at bedtime or with dinner when he has long days or he’s working late may not always go over well. It’s exciting for her now, but eventually you’re going to fall into a routine where she will feel like she can rebel against you and she will tell you that you don’t do it the way Daddy does. She’ll eventually start treating you the same way she treats Peter when she’s upset or in a bad mood.”

“I know you and your sisters weren’t young when I moved in, but I don’t think it’ll be any different. For a little while it might feel like you’re intruding. That you don’t belong in setting guidelines for Emmi as she gets older. But with her mom out of the picture you are the main mother figure in her life and she is going to have to listen to you, and I think you’ll get used to it.”

“I don’t want to be stepping on anyone’s toes,” Lara Jean admits quietly, leaning back when the waitress sets their lunches in front of them. “I don’t want Emmi to think now that I’m there all the time I’m going to turn into a mean person, and I don’t want Peter to think that I think my opinion on what Emmi does as she gets older means more than his opinion. Whether I’m her stepmom or not, she’s not my biological child.”

Trina takes a bite of her salad, listening intently. “Lara Jean, I think you’re making a big deal out of this when you don’t have to,” She says. And while it’s blunt, Lara Jean has always admired that about her. “A lot of this will come naturally. And I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but I promise it will. And you’ll think back to all these worries you have now and wonder why you thought it was going to go horribly just because you were marrying her father.”

Lara Jean nods, letting the conversation lull for a few moments.

“And besides,” Trina begins again, reaching for her drink. “Peter is a pretty relaxed guy. He may hate asking for help or admitting that he needs it, but he doesn’t turn it down when someone steps in and does it for him. And after years of parenting Emmi alone, I’m willing to bet he’s looking forward to someone else playing bad cop in the parenting world just so Emmi doesn’t think it’s all one-sided. Because when she gets to be a pre-teen and a teen and she wants more freedom, there’s going to be a lot of give and take.”

Lara Jean nods, a brief worry filling her mind thinking about Emmi being a teenager. She knows how Kitty was, and Kitty and Emmi have similar personalities. She almost feels bad for Peter when she remembers she’s going to be there as well.

“So you really think I’m going to be able to do this? Be a good stepparent?” She asks after a moment.

Trina smiles, biting back a laugh. “I think you’re going to be amazing at it. You’re so natural with Emmi, I don’t think anything will change once you two are married,” She says, and then her face turns a little more serious. “Does Peter know you’re this worried about all the changes coming?”

Lara Jean stares at her plate for a moment, shaking her head. “Because I’ve never really thought about it. I’ve always just been there for Emmi and I’ve helped out with picking her up or getting her bathed and in bed, but this is going to be a full-time thing. And I don’t want him to think that I’m overstepping.”

“Tell him how you feel,” Trina says bluntly. “Ask him what he expects of you as a stepparent. Make sure he knows that you don’t want to overstep, and you want to make this as if you two were parenting her like you’ve always been together. Especially if you add on to your family.”

She raises her eyebrows at that, and while Lara Jean knows her cheeks are a furious shade of red she nods anyway, laughing.

“Thank you, Trina,” She says softly once the bill comes, reaching in her bag for her wallet. “For helping ease my mind with all of this. You’re a really great stepmom.”

Trina smiles, reaching for the bill before Lara Jean can pay, insisting that she treat. “You’re a really great stepdaughter. You made it easy,” She smiles, setting her card on top of the bill. “And I know one day Emmi will say the same thing.

Lara Jean doesn’t want to think about the future and all the changes they’re going to go through, but talking it through with Trina does make her feel the slightest bit better that everything will work out, and her role as a stepmom will come much easier with time and won’t be nearly as scary as she currently thinks it’s going to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys so much for reading/leaving kudos/taking the time to comment! i'm still so blown away by how much you guys like this little universe haha. i'm glad you guys like reading it as much as i like writing it!
> 
> more will be up soooon :)
> 
> title of the chapter is from Lucky by Colbie Caillat ft. Jason Mraz :)


	9. what would I do without you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emmi has her birthday party, Lara Jean and Peter pick food and cake flavors for the wedding, and Lara Jean and Peter talk about the future.

Emmi sits on her knees at an empty table in the seating area of the nearly empty bakery watching as Lara Jean effortlessly sketches ideas for her cake for her birthday party.

“Nothing too flashy, Em,” Peter says quietly, but he’s mostly taken a back seat to this meeting, watching as Lara Jean and Emmi huddle together coming up with ideas.

Lara Jean gives him a look, one that is pleading with him to stop worrying about her baking a cake that he’s not going to pay for, but he just shrugs and ignores it, turning back to the sketch sitting out in front of them.

“So it’ll have princesses on the top of it?” Emmi asks, fingers tracing the top of the cake that will be airbrushed with rainbow colors, all of Emmi’s favorites.

Lara Jean nods, quickly drawing little figures where she would place the figurines. “We can go to the store and pick out the princess cake toppers you would want once we get the cake made,” Lara Jean says softly, pushing Emmi’s hair back away from her face. “Do you like this idea?”

Emmi nods enthusiastically, sitting back in her chair and looking towards Peter. “Can Lara Jean make this one, Daddy?” She asks, and for a moment Lara Jean thinks Peter is going to ask her to tone it down, that they don’t need to have this extravagant cake when it’s just her 6th birthday.

Peter has never been good at accepting favors without having to pay for it, and Emmi’s birthday cake is no different. Lara Jean knows, she understands, but she’s not backing down from her opinion that he’s not paying for a cake when the kid is going to be her stepchild.

But Peter nods, a smile creeping on his face as he leans forward to look at the design. “I like that, kid. If that’s the kind of cake you want.”

And while Emmi nods enthusiastically Lara Jean looks over at Peter, smiling.

“We have to pick out flavors now!” She says, her attention shifting back to the little girl sitting in between them. “What is your favorite cake flavor in the whole world?”

“Chocolate!” Emmi answers without hesitation, growing more excited. “With vanilla icing.”

“Want to go try the icing with Zoe?” Lara Jean asks, looking towards Peter. “You have to pick which one you like the best so I know which one to make, okay?”

Emmi obviously agrees to trying icing because she’s 5 and she’s being told she needs to try icing, and when Peter gives her the okay she slide off her chair and reaches out for Zoe’s outstretched hand after Lara Jean called her over, the two of them walking into the back talking about all the different kinds of vanilla icing she was going to be able to choose from.

“I’m at least paying for the princess figurines,” Peter mumbles as Lara Jean slides into the chair once occupied by Emmi, leaning against Peter’s side.

“Will it stop you from having this pity party that I’m not letting you pay for the entire cake?”

“I just don’t understand. You know I feel bad about you just making it without expecting anything in return.”

“Peter,” Lara Jean sighs, Her hand finds his, interlocking their fingers. “Emmi is going to be my stepdaughter. If I was her biological mom would you even think to ask to pay for the cake that I was making for her birthday?”

Peter hesitates, then shakes his head. “I guess not.”

“Then don’t feel bad about not paying me to make this cake. Think of it as you’re marrying me and Emmi is going to be my stepchild,” She reasons, lifting her head to look at him. “But to make you feel better, yes, you can pay for the princess figurines.”

Peter looks visibly relaxed when Lara Jean agrees to let him pay for the figurines, which makes Lara Jean laugh and Peter blush before he crashes his lips clumsily against hers.

“I should probably go make sure my kid isn’t eating tubs of icing.”

“I only left enough out for two spoonfuls of each. One for her and one for Zoe when Emmi asks her to try it,” Lara Jean promises, standing up and grabbing the sketch from the table as she tucks the chairs back in.

They make their way into the back of the bakery, finding Emmi and Zoe sitting at one of the work stations eating the icing Lara Jean had left out.

"Did we pick one? Because you’re not going to get anymore tastes of the icing. It’s too close to dinner.”

Emmi looks over and just her bottom lip out, but Lara Jean remains firm with her rules and smiles as Peter’s hand finds her lower back and rubs gently. “Good job,” He mumbles against her ear, kissing her cheek softly. And although Lara Jean hasn’t talked about her worries becoming a stepparent, this alone felt like a good step in the right direction.

“This one," Emmi decides after a moment, pointing the container that had the smallest amount of icing left.

Lara Jean walks over to figure out which one she means. “The whipped cream one?” She questions, watching as Emmi nods enthusiastically. “And you’re absolutely positive?”

“I’m positive, Lara Jean,” Emmi groans, running her fingers through her hair.

Lara Jean smiles, leaning down to kiss the top of Emmi’s head as Zoe clears away the rest of the frostings to clean out the bowl. And as Lara Jean writes out the order and stars the date it needs to be done by on the calendar, she listens to Peter quietly talk with Emmi behind her about her birthday and how she has to thank Lara Jean, and Emmi immediately responds that she will.

When she hears Emmi say that she loves Lara Jean and she’s the best person in the whole world and she’s happy he’s marrying her, she’s glad she’s not facing them so they can’t see her eyes cloud with tears and the smile on her face grow wider.

_______________________________

The trampoline park is a 6 year olds dream, Lara Jean finds.

It makes sense why Emmi wanted her party there so bad. It’s wall to wall trampolines, the kind of place Peter would’ve loved when they were younger, and the music is pumping through the speakers in the roof so loudly that Lara Jean half wonders how many people run into each other because they can’t hear the other person coming towards them.

Emmi is bouncing on her toes while they decorate the party room with cheap decorations bought at the party store the weekend before. Peter, who has never looked more in his element in his entire life, works on hanging the happy birthday banner on the back wall while Lara Jean walks back out to the car to get the cake, Emmi hot on her heels.

When she unpacks it from the cardboard box and sets it out on the table next to the plates and napkins for pizza that would arrive later Emmi gasps from behind her, walking over to stand at the edge of the table. “It’s so pretty,” She mumbles, then shifts her attention to where Peter had been securing the final end of the banner. “Daddy! You have to come see the cake!”

Lara Jean watches as Peter chews on the corner of his lip, securing the corner with tape before he jumps down from the chair he had been using. “Lara Jean,” Peter mumbles when he gets his first good look at the cake, hands resting on Emmi’s shoulders as she stands in front of him. “This is gorgeous.”

He takes in the scenery, the different colored frosting that look straight out of a Disney designed painting, the princess figurines he and Emmi spent a million hours at the store Lara Jean sent them to picking out the perfect ones.

She had decided on Belle, Moana and Rapunzel, although she spent at least 5 minutes sitting on the floor of the aisle debating between Belle and Tiana until Peter felt like he needed to put an end to it (she chose Belle because she really likes books).

“So you like it? You think I did a good job?” Lara Jean asks, but Peter can hear the teasing behind her voice and laughs when Emmi nods enthusiastically, cautiously moving closer without touching it.

“It’s the best cake I’ve ever seen,” She declares, and that alone makes Lara Jean’s heart swell a million sizes because obviously Emmi’s opinion means more to her than any other client she’s ever had.

If Emmi’s sentiments weren’t enough her friends all talk about the cake as they arrive, setting their presents for Emmi down on the table beside it as they look but don’t touch, per Emmi’s rule. And eventually when they’re all cooped up in the party room for almost too long Peter puts wristbands on all of them and ushers them out the door, letting them run free on the miles of trampolines throughout the rest of the place.

“I know you said that kid birthday parties are a lot, but this is next level,” Lara Jean mumbles, falling into a chair at the table in the party room.

Peter smiles, leaning down and kissing the top of her head. “You haven’t even seen them when they come back to eat.”

Lara Jean cringes, slightly worried about the 15 kids who are going to be piling into this room in a matter of time for the pizza, and wonders how Peter ever did this alone.

“I’m saying this mostly because you deserve to hear it despite knowing it’s going to feed your ego, but you’re like — you’re kind of a super dad.”

Peter laughs, stands up a little straighter and puffs up his chest mockingly, but Lara Jean notices the proud smile on his face and she feels the warmth spread across her chest when he finally takes one of her compliments. “I won’t lie, my mom usually does come to the party and helps. She’s like, a pro at kids birthday parties.”

“She couldn’t come today?”

Peter shakes his head, sitting down in the chair across from his fiancé. “There was a big estate sale out of town this weekend. She said she’d cancel her trip if I wanted her here, but I figured we could handle it. Besides, Em is almost 6. I think I should be able to do this whole kids birthday party thing without my mom coming to help out.”

“I don’t know if I could,” Lara Jean shrugs, looking out to where the kids are all jumping on the trampolines together. “Kids have so much energy.”

“It’s going to be like herding cats trying to get them to come back here for food.”

Lara Jean laughs, standing up and walking out of the party room to go watch the kids play. Emmi is the center of attention, the ends of her french braids bouncing against her back as she jumps with her friends, some of the boys they invited playing basketball over in the corner.

“She’s going to sleep so well tonight,” Peter says from behind Lara Jean, is arms wrapping around her middle while his chin rests on the top of her head. “Constant bouncing and running around with her friends? These kids birthday parties benefit the parents just as much.”

Lara Jean laughs, pressing back against Peter’s chest as they watch the kids for a while, their laughter echoing off the walls.

When they do usher the kids back into the room for pizza Lara Jean passes out slices and notices their flushed faces and sweaty foreheads, smiling. She leaves a kiss on top of Emmi’s head, who turns around and smiles at her as she takes a bite of her pizza.

Peter and Lara Jean eat in the corner, listening to the chatter of Emmi and her friends until it’s time for cake. And naturally Emmi is the center of attention, eating up everyone singing to her and watching as everyone showers her with love, slices of cake being passed out between the group as they sit back in their seats.

Lara Jean can’t help but smile when the kids talk about how great the cake is, to which Peter looks at her in amusement and walks across the room to lean down against her ear. “I love that you are feeling great about 6 year olds loving your cake. Not that you shouldn’t.”

Lara Jean lightly pushes at his chest, masking the blush that’s creeping up on her face and up to hear ears. “Hey, you know as well as I do that kids are tough critics. Emmi has never had a problem telling me when she doesn’t like something at the bakery.”

“Fair enough,” Peter smiles, kissing her cheek for good measure before helping the kids clean up their areas and talk to parents that were arriving, Lara Jean moving to help Emmi hand out party favors as they left the party on their way out.

Emmi’s slouched in a chair while Lara Jean and Peter pack up the presents brought for her and box the leftover cake, eyelids growing heavier with each passing moment. Lara Jean smiles as she watches Emmi lay down, but Peter sighs, leaning down to brush some wisps of hair from his daughter’s forehead.

“Em, baby, you can’t fall asleep yet. We have too much to carry out to the car so I’m going to need you to walk.”

Emmi whines but sits up anyway, rubbing at her eyes as she slides off the chair and carries a few presents on their way out to the car. Peter runs back in to double check they got everything while Lara Jean helps Emmi up into her seat, buckling her when it was obvious Emmi wasn’t going to do it herself.

“Did you have a fun party, babe?” Lara Jean asks softly, leaning over the girl to buckle the seatbelt.

Emmi yawns, nodding as her head falls to lean against the back of the seat. “It was the best party ever,” She mumbles.

Lara Jean smiles, kissing Emmi’s forehead before shutting the door just as Peter walks back out to the car, the two of them climbing in to get everything home and settled in.

Emmi falls asleep when they’re halfway home, and as Lara Jean reaches to hold Peter’s free hand in between them, an easiness spreads across her chest. One that fills her with hope that even if she is going into this whole parenting thing blindly without a second thought, she’s going to be able to figure it out.

_______________________________

Mina offers to meet Peter and Lara Jean at a catering company to try out food for the reception on a Saturday. Peter, who had planned to ask Owen to come watch Emmi for a few hours, is suddenly left without a babysitter when Owen says he has plans, and so instead of missing out on picking food for the wedding they agree to bring her, hoping that she won’t be bored out of her mind for however long this is going to take.

“So we’re just going to try food?” Emmi asks, reaching out for Peter’s hand as they walk through the parking lot. Lara Jean grabs her bag and takes Peter’s other hand, listening to the conversation.

“We are. And it’ll probably be pretty boring, but I promise you’ll get to try some food too,” He says quickly, opening the door and ushering her inside.

It turns out Emmi _loves_ this stage of wedding planning. She sits in between Peter and Lara Jean, and although her presence is unexpected the catering company prepares her small plates so that she has some of her own. Emmi wins over Mina immediately, the two of them chattering while Lara Jean and Peter discuss the food and what they want at their wedding.

They end up going with a buffet style because it’s what will work best with the reception being in Dr. Covey’s backyard, choosing pasta and chicken and meat along with some appetizers for people to eat during cocktail hour. It all feels like a lot and Lara Jean half feels like they’re picking food too far in advance and what if they decide they want something different later on? But Mina assures her that this is the right timeline and it’ll be fine.

“You picked pasta, right?” Emmi asks when Lara Jean and Peter are looking over the menu together to finalize for the catering company. She moves to sit up on her knees, hands resting on Peter’s arm as she leans over to try to read the writing on the paper.

“There will be pasta, Em,” Peter assures her. “Was that your favorite thing?”

“Uh huh,” Emmi nods, head falling against Peter’s upper arm. “But what if I spill sauce on my dress? It’s white, Daddy. Everyone would see it.”

Lara Jean stifles her laughs, fingers twirling through Emmi’s curls. “It’ll be fine, babe. We’ll put a napkin over your dress and make sure you’re really close to the table so you can eat over your plate. You’ll be able to eat and not get anything on your dress, promise. I’m going to have to do the same thing,” She says, and Emmi nods, the smile on her face growing wider.

“We need to start thinking about bakeries you want to use for your wedding cake. If you aren’t planning on making it yourself,” Mina offers once the reception menu is squared away.

“She’s not making our wedding cake.”

Lara Jean opens her mouth to protest, but decides against it as she nods. “I have a few places in mind. We could go taste them and get back to you?” Lara Jean offers, which seems to satisfy Mina as she nods and crosses another thing off her list.

“I’m going to get to come cake testing too, right?” Emmi asks when they’re getting ready to leave, reaching out for Peter’s hand once they’re outside.

“You can come if you want,” Lara Jean smiles.

“You really think I’d leave my sweets-loving munchkin out of cake testing?” Peter laughs, swinging their arms in between them.

“No Daddy! You wouldn’t,” She smiles, falling against his side as they get back to the car.

“Who knew she’d have this much fun with food decisions?”

“Kids a foodie like her dad,” Peter shrugs in reply, pride written on his face. “Besides, it’s nice to have her opinion on it. She makes the decisions we don’t want to.”

Lara Jean couldn’t argue with that.

_______________________________

“Is it wrong to feel like I’m cheating on my bakery to go to another bakery for my wedding cake?” Lara Jean asks, twisting Emmi’s hair up into a bun effortlessly.

Peter laughs, handing Lara Jean her coffee when she’s done. “No, I don’t think it’s weird you feel like you’re cheating,” He smiles. “But you’re not making our wedding cake. You should be celebrating us getting married, not worrying about the cake.”

“To be fair, it’d be Zoe, Jenna and Nick making the cake and decorating it. So I really wouldn’t be _doing_ anything. It would just be coming from my bakery.”

Peter sends her a look that she just returns a smile to, watching him shake his head. “If we let them make our wedding cake you know you’d be curious and you’d be talking to them about it every day at work. Let’s just let someone else do it so you can relax and enjoy our wedding without thinking about anything else.”

Lara Jean relents, finishing her coffee and grabbing her things to follow Peter and Emmi out the door. “I’ll just get used to this,” Lara Jean mumbles as she climbs in the car.

Peter squeezes her hand in return, and while he knows that Lara Jean is still adjusting to all of this and it’s not totally in her comfort zone to let someone else make a cake she could make herself, he has a feeling she’ll see it’s the right decision in the long run when it’s closer to the wedding.

—

The slices of cake are set out in front of them, and Peter glances at Emmi in between them, who’s looking at every piece with wide eyes.

“Funfetti,” Emmi mumbles, leaning on her elbows on the table.

“Em,” Peter warns, but there’s smile on his face and he can’t break it to her that they most likely won’t be picking a funfetti cake for their wedding.

“The first slice is a lemon cake with vanilla buttercream icing and a mixed berry compote in the middle,” Ashley, the bakery owner, describes. Peter takes a bite, has a hard time admitting that he fell in love with this cake when he’s marrying a baker, and then cuts off a bite for Emmi to try.

“That’s really good,” She mumbles, reaching for the fork to take another bite.

“Not too many bites, Em. There’s more cakes to try,” Lara Jean smiles, letting Ashley guide them through the other cake flavors.

By the time they’ve worked through the options Emmi has eaten the rest of the slice of the funfetti cake, but Peter and Lara Jean decide to alternate layers of lemon cake with berry compote and vanilla buttercream and almond cake with a lemon filling and vanilla buttercream.

Lara Jean still feels a little uneasy about letting another bakery make their cake as they talk through the design and Ashley sketches out what the cake is going to look like. But she knows the cake is in good hands with Ashley, someone who she had heard nothing but good things about in the bakery world since opening her own place.

“It’s going to be amazing,” Peter promises when they’re walking out to the car, Emmi effectively on a sugar high as they decide to let her go run off some energy in the park. “But just for the record, your bakery is better than hers.”

“Peter,” Lara Jean admonishes weakly, but she has to hide her smile from him and Peter can’t help but laugh, nudging her in the side.

It was one more thing to cross off the list, although this one is going to take a little more getting used to than everything else they’ve been able to work through.

_______________________________

Date nights are few and far between at this point.

In a perfect world Lara Jean would love to go out more. She’d love to be able to set aside time for fancy dates at restaurants or even time out of the house without Emmi, but with summer coming to an end and the school year looming upon them it feels like things have taken a crazy turn and they barely have time to breathe.

Lara Jean works late at the bakery sometimes, with word of mouth spreading rapidly after Emmi’s birthday party and business picking up. She’s hired a few more people, slowly working to train them and get them acclimated with how they run things so that she can feel a little bit better about having more people help out at the place that effectively was her child.

Peter has a huge project looming at work, one that takes up most of his time. He never works late, always making sure he’s able to get Emmi from camp and spend a few hours with her, but once she’s bathed and in bed he often sits himself on the sofa beside Lara Jean, half paying attention to whatever show they’re watching and half working on his project to the best of his abilities.

All their other free time goes to rushing Emmi to soccer practice and out for playdates or to the park in the evening while the weather is still warm, and although date nights should be a priority and they should work on fitting them in better than they have been, other things came first.

So when Gabe offers to take Emmi for a few hours, insisting that they can’t just stop going on date nights because they’re getting married, Lara Jean and Peter jump at the chance. Emmi’s pretty ecstatic about it too, the thought of spending her night with Gabe more exciting than anything else.

Lara Jean makes reservations at their favorite restaurant that isn’t too fancy, and the minute they sit down Lara Jean can feel the tension leave her body and the relief that she’s getting a night to just focus on her fiancé spread through her body.

They talk about life and work for a while, which it turns out there isn’t much to talk about when they’re practically living together. They discuss making plans to go tour some apartments one weekend where they’re not running in a million different directions, how they should take advantage of Kitty and Owen’s final weekends home before they go back to school by getting them to come babysit.

“We still need to book our honeymoon,” Peter teases after they order, which earns an eye roll from Lara Jean despite the smile on her face.

“After the planning that’s gone into this and the chaos in our work lives, we need an island vacation,” She insists, which Peter immediately agrees to. “It kind of sucks that it’s so far away.”

“You know, Emmi does get a Christmas and Spring break,” Peter sings, and Lara Jean knows that he’s implying they take a vacation.

She wants to agree immediately, but bites her lip and sighs. “We need to see what work looks like when we get there,” She concedes.

Peter agrees, letting the conversation shift as Lara Jean talks about the orders she’s working on and how happy she is that things are getting busier despite having to adjust to the stress.

There’s a lull in the conversation when their entrees arrive, and after what feels like hours of putting the conversation off and finding ways out of it, she knows now is the best time.

“So, since we’re getting married I’ve been thinking a lot about how I’m going to be Emmi’s stepmom,” Lara Jean begins, taking a bite of her fish. “And I just — what did you expect with me? Because I don’t want to overstep your authority. She’s not my kid. But at the same time she’s going to be with us all the time, and I don’t want her to hate me or think that I’m being awful now just because we’re married.”

Peter smiles, reaching for his wine glass. “I’m not asking you to change anything about how you’ve been with her,” Peter says softly. “I mean, yeah, she’s going to be with us all the time and you are basically going to be that mother figure that she doesn’t have, but that doesn’t mean you have to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”

“But if I just lay back and wait for you to get home or I don’t parent her when you’re not there she’s going to take advantage of me. You raised a smart kid, Peter, she’s going to realize that when you’re not there she can do what she wants with me.”

“It’ll be a gradual thing, babe,” Peter promises, and his voice is so convincing that Lara Jean feels like she can breathe. “For the record, I don’t mind you giving her time outs or teaching her right from wrong. Bigger things, sure you can wait for me. But she’s almost 6. She isn’t going to do anything major now. And by the time she _does_ , you’ll be so good at being her stepmom that it won’t even be a second thought in your mind.”

Lara Jean smiles, taking another bite of her dinner. “I just don’t want her to hate me.”

“Can I be honest?” Peter asks, waiting for Lara Jean to nod before he continues. “I don’t think there’s much you could do that would make her hate you. She loves you more than she’s ever loved any other woman in her life. You stepping in as her stepmom is going to bring some changes, but we’ll all just have to adjust and figure it out. It’s not a bad thing.” He reaches for his wine, taking a sip. “And besides, I’m looking forward to someone else playing mean parent. It’s all fallen on my shoulders the last four years. I need some of her anger directed at someone else for a little.”

Lara Jean laughs, rolling her eyes as she takes a sip of her wine. “I love you. And I’m going to do my best to be the best stepmom for her.”

Peter smiles, reaching over and resting his hand on top of Lara Jean’s. “I know you’re not officially her stepmom yet, but you’re already doing an amazing job,” He says softly. “And I thank you a lot, but I’m never going to be able to stop thanking you. For everything you’ve done for Emmi. For everything you’ve done for me.”

Lara Jean nods, unable to say anything in fear that she’ll just start crying in the middle of the restaurant surrounded by strangers, but her smile tells Peter everything she would say if she was able to.

“We’re going to figure this all out with time. You don’t have to jump into anything you’re not ready for. But I love you, and this will all work out. It will take as long as it takes, and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

Lara Jean nods, chewing on the inside of her lip until the feeling of tears pricking the back of her eyes subsides, and realizes that Peter’s right.

All of this will work out in due time, and she’s going to figure this out even when it doesn’t feel possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know i say it all the time, but thank you guys so much for reading/commenting/leaving kudos on this fic! i love writing in this little universe, and i'm so glad you guys like it as well :)
> 
> we're going to skip through the months in this fic (obviously i'm still going to do big moments), mostly because i don't want it to feel like it's dragging on while we're waiting for the wedding haha.
> 
> more will be up sooon! :)
> 
> title of the chapter is from What Would I Do Without You by Drew Holcomb and The Neighbors :)


	10. oh darling don't you ever grow up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they celebrate Emmi's birthday with the family, the Covey sisters have a night together, and Emmi starts first grade.

The last time Peter can remember having more than just his side of the family there to celebrate Emmi's birthday was her second birthday.

Three weeks before Juliet left.

Three weeks before his life was flipped upside down.

His mom held the party, a get together with his family and Juliet’s brothers when her family made it clear they wanted nothing to do with their daughter. Looking back on it Peter sees the signs written on the wall. How Juliet kept to herself on the back patio, only really conversing with her brothers. How when it was time for cake she let him take the lead, bringing the cake to the backyard, setting it in front of Emmi and standing right by her to be sure that she didn’t stick her fingers in the icing or the flames.

Emmi’s third birthday was the first as a single father. They still went to his mom’s, his extended family was still there, but it felt different. He got more pitying looks, more masked comments of concern that he needed more help than what he was letting in. More conversations about how happy they all were that he moved back closer to home.

They didn’t say they were happy he moved back so he wouldn’t be alone with Emmi, but it was etched through their words.

So when they’re sitting on the back patio watching Emmi run around with some of Peter’s cousins kids and Lara Jean is tucked into his side chatting with his family that all remembered her and were more than happy to have her around again, a sense of happiness washes over Peter. Because for all those family birthday parties he had had without Juliet’s family there were gone, and now he was sitting at his mother’s house with his extended family and Lara Jean’s family, celebrating his little girls birthday together for the first time.

Emmi runs over and presses her dirt-smudged fingers into Peter’s bare knees, her cheeks flushed after running around. “This is so much fun, Daddy,” She whispers when she knows conversations are going on around her, but she smiles and there’s a toothless grin looking back at him, and Peter can’t help but laugh.

“You’re having a good time? And you’re being nice to Lara Jean’s cousins who came to celebrate you?”

Emmi nods, brushing wisps of hair away from her face and reaching for the water bottle next to Peter’s beer, taking a sip. “Are we going to have dinner soon?”

“When Grandma says it’s time,” Peter says quietly, glancing back into the kitchen where his mom and Trina were setting everything out on the island. “Not much longer, kid.”

“We have time for a game of tag?”

“Yes,” Peter smiles, then ushers her back to the grass where she runs to gather everyone up, a game of tag beginning.

He watches for a while, notices Kitty and Owen tucked in the corner lounge chair laughing, and then leaves Lara Jean to talk with her family and his while he goes into the kitchen, holding the door open for Trina. “There’s a few things that need to be carried out for dinner if you could help,” She smiles. Peter nods, slipping inside.

“You actually came to help me?” His mom smiles, laughing when she earns an eye roll from her eldest as he stands at the island ready to take whatever she tells him to. “Em’s having a good time?”

“The best time. She loves all the kids here with Lara Jean’s family coming,” Peter smiles. “Thank you for doing this, Mom.”

“You know I’ll take any reason to spoil my granddaughter, Peter,” She smiles, but there’s an easiness laced behind her words, one that tells Peter she’s just as happy that it’s not just his family that’s there to celebrate this year.

She walks around the island, pulling Peter into her side as best she can with him being much taller, and squeezes his arm. “I’m so glad that you have someone like Lara Jean, baby. Who showers Emmi with just as much love as we do. They’re going to be the best family for her to grow up with.”

Peter can only nod, mumbling some sort of agreement before picking up a serving tray.

“I know I don’t tell you enough, but I’m proud of you, Peter. For raising that little girl by yourself for all those years. For sacrificing so much and always putting Emmi first. I know it hasn’t been easy, baby. But you’re an amazing dad and it’s only going to get more fun from here,” She smiles when his back is turned to her.

Peter hums, taking a shaky breath that’s a really lame attempt to not cry while he can’t wipe the tears away. “Thanks, Mom,” He says quietly, praying she doesn’t hear how shaky his voice sounds. “I learned from the best parent.”

He can hear her laugh from behind her, the oven opening and closing. “I’m going to assume that’s me,” She teases, earning a laugh from Peter as he confirms that it’s _definitely_ her, that there’s no other option here.

He carries the serving tray outside and sets it out on the table, and as he turns and watches his daughter fall onto the grass and laugh with her cousins and Lara Jean’s family, he knows that having this many people enter her life is going to benefit her even more than it’s going to benefit him.

—

Most of the extended family leaves after cake, exhausted kids and parents ready to prepare for the final weeks of summer before the school routines begin again. Emmi hugs everyone, thanks them for coming and for giving her presents, and leans against Peter’s legs as they stand on the front porch watching everyone leave.

“Hey Em, why don’t we go get changed into pajamas,” His mom offers when the last of the family drives away, Emmi nodding as she reaches out and takes her hand, walking back into the house.

Peter's left alone on the front porch, Lara Jean slipping back inside to help Trina with the last of the mugs and plates they used for dessert at the party. Peter knows he should go help, at least direct them to where things go and what can just stay drying on the rack for now, but instead he sits down on the glider and lets his head rest in his hands, staring out at the street as a few cars drive by.

“Thought you were helping Emmi,” Lara Jean mumbles when she slips outside, the screen door quietly closing behind her. She walks over, sitting down beside him and wrapping her arm around his arm. “You okay?”

Peter nods, leaning his cheek against the top of her head and sighing. “I just — was just thinking about how many people were here to celebrate Em today,” He mumbles.

“They all love her, you know.”

“Yeah, but your family too?” He says quietly. Lara Jean hears the disbelief in his voice. “We’re not even married yet.”

“Doesn’t change anything, Peter,” Lara Jean whispers against his arm, pressing a light kiss just at the edge of his t-shirt. “They love her because they love you. They love her because in a few months she is going to be family. She basically is now.”

Peter nods, letting the silence fall over them. They listen to the crickets chirp and the cars driving down the road in the distance. Lara Jean’s head rests against his shoulder, their breathing cutting through the warm summer air and the last of the moments like these before the weather begins to change. And for a moment Lara Jean doesn’t feel like she needs to say anything.

“Her last three birthdays have been spent with me and Owen and my mom,” Peter mumbles after a moment. He shifts underneath her, leaning back against the cushions. “We’d have family over, but it always felt like something was missing. Especially the first year after Juliet left. It just felt… empty.”

He pauses, taking a deep breath. “I always wanted her to be showered with all this love on her birthday. And I didn’t think it was ever going to happen, that I was ever going to be able to give her that. I always thought that even when I found the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, Emmi’s birthdays wouldn’t be this big celebration because it would feel awkward since she wouldn’t be their blood relative. I just — I didn’t think that your family was going to just be there without question today. Just to celebrate my little girl. She’s not even related.”

Lara Jean smiles, pulling herself impossibly closer against Peter’s side, reaching up to run her fingers through her hair. “My family loves you, and they love Emmi, and if they can find any reason to celebrate her they absolutely will. And that’s not going to change now,” She smiles, hand reaching down to take his. “In fact, next year might be even more obnoxious.”

Peter smiles, shaking his head as he leans down to kiss her. “Thank you. And thank you to your family. For giving Emmi everything I could’ve ever wanted for her.”

“I like this sappy side of Peter Kavinsky,” Lara Jean smiles, pressing her forehead against his. “But you’re welcome. Just know that it’s never going to change.”

Peter smiles, savoring the moment for a while before turning to look at his fiancé, who’s still leaning against his side. “I should probably go help my mom get Em to bed. Want to go hang out with our parents after?”

“And our siblings,” Lara Jean laughs, an attempt at making their evening not sound so lame.

Peter’s smile grows wider. “Yes, and our siblings,” He agrees, pushing himself up from the glider as Lara Jean does the same.

“I love you,” He says quietly, pulling Lara Jean against his chest and leaning down to kiss her.

“I love you, too,” She mumbles in reply, kissing him again, this time a little deeper.

When they walk back inside and their parents are talking in the living room with Emmi half asleep on Owen’s lap, Peter and Lara Jean pretend like none of them knew they were making out on the front porch like teenagers.

_______________________________

Lara Jean curls up in the corner of the sofa in her dad’s house, Kitty and Margot occupying other seats beside her. It feels a lot like those last moments they had together before Margot moved to Scotland for school, those nights where they’d stay up far too late watching reruns of old tv shows or movies eating popcorn and talking about boys or life in general.

“Does it feel weird being here and having Peter be at his mom’s house?” Margot asks, passing out mugs of tea to her sisters. Sensing the girls needed some sister time Ravi had retired to bed, making up an excuse that he had some work to catch up on that all of them saw through but didn’t question.

“It’s a little odd, I guess,” Lara Jean admits, holding the mug between both of her hands. “Kind of feels like we’re in high school again. But I don’t spend every night at his place right now, and this is what was going to work out best.”

After a long debate and trying to figure out the best way to spend the weekend back at home Lara Jean and Peter decided staying at their parents houses separately was the best option. Peter shared a room with Emmi when they were back at his mom’s house, meaning Emmi would’ve had to sleep between them. Lara Jean knew it wasn’t practical, and while she missed Peter and being able to curl up next to him when she was going to bed that night, she has to admit that she is loving the sister time that comes with being back at her dad’s.

“So, how is wedding planning going?” Margot asks, sitting down on the opposite side of the sofa. “Are you dying with all the little details yet?”

“Yes,” Lara Jean rolls her eyes, taking a sip of tea. “I feel like when we mark off a big thing there’s a million little things that get added on because now we have to make smaller decisions. I’ve threatened to give up a million times.”

“Peter helps though, doesn’t he?”

Lara Jean nods. “And Emmi loves helping out. It’s just a lot, even when they’re both helping. I guess I just didn’t think about how much planning when into your wedding, and Dad and Trina’s was much more low-key, you know? So I didn’t think about it.”

Margot nods in understanding, shifting against the cushions. “I think you’ll realize it was all worth it at the wedding,” She promises, looking over at her youngest sister. “And besides, Kitty and I are always willing to help, even if we’re not right here and able to talk in person.”

“Thanks,” Lara Jean smiles, and even though she doesn’t think she’d ever take them up on that offer, it does feel a little bit easier to fathom planning this wedding despite her sisters being so far away most of the time.

They talk about Margot’s life down in North Carolina, her work and everything that she and Ravi had been doing. She admits that she and Ravi have been talking more about kids and aren’t _not_ trying, which of course sends both girls into squeals of excitement to which Margot blushes and suppresses a smile, shaking her head.

“Nothing is definite yet!”

“But we’ll be the first to know when you _are_ pregnant, right?” Kitty smirks.

“Of course,” Margot confirms, and that only sends the girls into more excitement about the thought of one of the sisters having a kid of their own.

They put on a movie and settled in sharing popcorn between them. Lara Jean texts Peter here and there, doesn’t feel at all weird about being sappy and saying that she misses him and she wishes they were spending the night together like normal, to which he says the same thing and that sharing a bed with Emmi is not nearly as exciting as spending the night with her.

She lets her phone fall into her lap and focuses on the movie, and from the corner of her eye she notices Kitty furiously typing on her phone, trying to hide it off to the side.

“Who are you texting?” Lara Jean teases, but when Kitty whips her head around looking slightly shocked anyone caught her texting Lara Jean almost takes back her question and reminds her that it was a joke.

“Owen,” Kitty says weakly, ducking her head back into her phone. “He and Peter are watching movies too.”

Lara Jean exchanges a glance with Margot, the older of the two looking back towards their younger sister. “Kitty, is there something going on between you and Owen?”

“You two were pretty close at Emmi’s birthday party today,” Lara Jean comments.

Kitty sighs, shaking her head, and then turning back to face her sisters. “There’s not — it’s nothing official.”

“But there _is_ something.”

“I don’t know,” Kitty groans, She pulls her hair up into a loose bun, sinking further on the opposite sofa. “We just haven’t talked about it. We just… we’re just hanging out. Not taking it too seriously, seeing where things go. I don’t know.”

Lara Jean smiles, leaning against the side of the sofa. “It’s the Kavinsky charm, isn’t it?”

“Can we _please_ just watch the movie?” Kitty groans, but Lara Jean can see the smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

The sisters oblige, falling back into a comfortable silence. Lara Jean waits before grabbing her phone, smiling as she feverishly types a text to Peter.

_You were right about Owen and Kitty! Kitty says they didn’t label it and they're not taking it too seriously, but they’re not not a thing! I caught them texting while we’re watching a movie._

She doesn’t have time to set her phone down before it goes off in her hand.

_I KNEW IT._

_He’s been acting so odd this whole movie and I didn’t want to ask, but I knew that there was something going on. Did you see them all cuddled on the lounge chair at Em’s party? It’s like they wanted us to know._

_I’m going to ask him a million questions about it. Make sure he’s treating my girl right._

Lara Jean hides her smile as she types out a reply.

_I’m sure he’s treating her right, Peter. He’s a good kid._

_But obviously anything you find out I want to know :) Love you_

Kitty doesn’t text much after that, but when they get up to start cleaning up and go to bed she notices Kitty slide into a seat at the island, a smile tugging at her lips as she types furiously underneath the counter.

Lara Jean doesn’t bring it up, doesn’t tease her or pepper her with more questions just to hear about Owen and Kitty’s summer adventures, but she does go to bed that night hoping that Kitty does talk to her about it whenever she was ready.

_______________________________

“It’s my baby’s first day of first grade!”

Peter arrives in the hall bathroom singing, smiling when Emmi laughs and attempts to hold still while Lara Jean does her hair in perfect braids.

“How do I have a baby who is in first grade?!”

“Because I’m big now, Daddy!” Emmi exclaims, shifting on the counter and apologizing quietly when Lara Jean reminds her to hold still. “I’m gonna have more homework and I'm going to learn so much in first grade!”

“And you’re going to be a good kid, right? No getting in trouble, being nice to everyone and including people when they’re feeling left out?”

Emmi rolls her eyes, but there’s a smile on her face and when Lara Jean ties off the end of the braid Emmi nods in agreement. “I’m always nice, Daddy. I’ll still be nice when I’m in first grade.”

Peter smiles, leaning down and kissing the top of her head before setting off to make pancakes, a tradition on the first day of school.

Lara Jean agreed to go into work late to walk Emmi to school per Emmi’s request. At first she felt awkward about it, like maybe she shouldn’t intrude on this tradition that Peter and Emmi had had since Emmi’s first day of school all those years ago, but Peter promises her that it’s a tradition he’s more than willing to share with her now that she’s in their family.

Emmi spends all of breakfast talking about the kids that she knows are in her class and how she doesn’t have Grayson in her class but Lila is, and then she talks about how they can all hang out at recess so it’s okay. Peter asks her if she’s excited, and just as Lara Jean thought she would be, Emmi firmly states that she’s very excited and she’s never nervous about going to school.

They walk through the rush hour filled streets of the city with Emmi holding their hands in between them, swinging their arms while they navigate their way towards school. Lara Jean notices that Peter doesn’t seem at all emotional or upset by the first day of first grade, not that she had even thought about how he would be after so long of sending to Emmi to full day schools.

Whey they arrive on the steps Peter finds Emmi’s teacher for the school year, introducing himself and Emmi while Lara Jean hangs back until she’s introduced by Peter. “She may be picking Emmi up here and there,” He says, and her teacher nods, talking with Emmi about the school year ahead.

“Okay Ems, Lara Jean and I have to get going,” Peter says, crouching down so he’s closer to Emmi’s height. “I’ll be there to pick you up at after school club today, got it?”

Emmi nods, stepping forward so she can wrap her arms around his neck. “I love you, Daddy.”

“Love you too, kiddo,” Peter mumbles, squeezing Emmi into his chest. “Have the best day ever.”

“I will,” She nods, pressing a kiss to his cheek when she pulls away, walking over to Lara Jean. “Bye, Lara Jean! I’ll see you tonight?”

“You will,” Lara Jean says, and although she and Peter hadn’t talked about it it seems like as good a day as any to hang out with them, celebrate getting through the first day of school. “Be good, peanut, okay? Have a good day.”

“I will,” Emmi nods, Lara Jean bending down to hug her before she finds Lila, the two of them holding hands and skipping into school.

Peter waits until Emmi disappears through the doors following her teacher before turning back and taking Lara Jean’s hand, the two of them walking towards the bakery.

“I really thought you’d be more emotional than this.”

Peter shrugs, glancing down at her and smiling. “Usually I am a sap about huge milestones with her, but she’s been going to school full day since it was allowed, so full day first grade isn’t any different than her going to full day kindergarten.”

Lara Jean smiles, leaning against his side when they stop at a crosswalk. “She was so excited.”

“If you think that was excited, wait until this afternoon when she tells us all about her day,” Peter smiles, pulling her through a crowd of people to stand just outside of the bakery. “We’ll meet you at home? I’ll get dinner started before you’re done here for the day?”

“You have yourself a deal, Kavinsky.”

Peter smiles, leaning down to kiss Lara jean quickly. “Love you. Have a good day.”

“Love you too,” She smiles, squeezing his hand and kissing him once more before slipping inside the bakery, leaving Peter to walk to work himself.

—

“So for your bachelorette party,” Chris begins, sliding into a chair at one of the workstations with her lunch while Lara Jean works on pastries. “I’m trying to decide what we should do. Kitty asked for some help.”

Lara Jean sighs, brushings wisps of hair away from her face. “It’s September. I’m not getting married until June. Why are we planning this now?”

“Because it’s always nice to have some general ideas!” Chris argues, plucking a grape from the vine and popping it into her mouth. “Besides, if we have to book things it’s better to do that now rather than closer to it. Especially because you’re getting married at the beginning of the summer right after the weather gets warm.”

Lara Jean wants to argue with that logic, remind her that September has barely started and they have at least a few more months until they should really be booking things, but then she remembers how she’s felt this whole wedding planning process, and she decides it’s not worth the argument that comes with planning a bachelorette party this far in advance.

“I don’t want anything extravagant,” Lara Jean begins, rolling out the pastry dough in front of her. “I’m not comfortable with all the attention, so your fantasies about going out and partying all night long can definitely go out the window.”

Chris fake pouts, running her fingers through her ponytail. “I obviously knew that much,” She smirks, watching Lara Jean cut the pastry dough. “I was more talking about destinations. Do you have _any_ idea on where you want to go?”

Lara Jean chews on the corner of her lip, shaking her head. “Maybe the beach or something? I don't know. There’s enough bars there that we can go out and have fun, but it’s not totally over the top.”

Chris seems to mull it over for a minute, then nods in agreement. “It’s a compromise I can live with, Covey,” She smiles, tapping the table as she stands up. “We’ll go in May or something. A few weeks before the wedding.”

“I haven’t even thought about what we’re going to do about the bakery that weekend.”

Chris rolls her eyes, moving the tray of cut pastry dough to the fridge. “You either let the newbies keep it open for the weekend when they will no longer be newbies, or you close for the weekend and put a sign on the door saying that you’re celebrating your bachelorette weekend and the bakery is closed so we can all be there.”

Lara Jean smiles, nodding and handing Chris another tray of pastry dough for her to store. “Both are good answers,” She agrees, and when Chris returns and starts talking about her boyfriend and how great things are going, Lara Jean welcomes the conversation shifting away from the wedding and onto Chris’ love life, something she had been dying to know more about.

_______________________________

True to Peter’s word, Lara Jean walks through the front door of his apartment and hears the chatter of he and Emmi in the kitchen, Emmi talking about school while he starts dinner.

She sets her bag down by the front door, slipping off her shoes and walking into the kitchen, smiling when Emmi’s eyebrows raise. “You’re back!”

“I am,” Lara Jean nods, leaning down to press a kiss to Emmi’s head where she sits at the table snacking on vegetables before walking over to kiss her fiancé, setting a bag of treats for the three of them on the counter. “I want to hear all about school. Was it the best day ever?”

Emmi nods enthusiastically, talking about all the things she’s going to learn this year and who she ate lunch with while Lara Jean and Peter work on dinner for the three of them. “And Lila sits right behind me, Daddy! At the other table, but I can turn around and talk to her.”

“But you don’t while the teacher is talking, right?” Peter asks, and Lara Jean is grateful her back is turned because the horror that is laced through Peter’s words are enough to make her stifle her laughs.

“I never talk when she’s talking, Daddy,” Emmi replies while sounding slightly annoyed, and from the corner of her eye she can see Peter relax, which somehow makes her laugh harder.

Peter nudges her with his elbow, but there’s a smile tugging at the corner of his lips and they both end up laughing anyway, Emmi smiling at the two of them.

Emmi goes back into her story about gym class on the first day and how she won tag because she was the fastest, and while Lara Jean doesn’t remember all that much about first grade she _does_ vaguely remember Peter being in her class and how he would brag about how he was the best at sports back then, too.

Emmi is her father’s daughter through and through.

They set dinner out for the three of them, talking about the school year and how they’re going to stay on top of homework, and Emmi slowly begins to settle down, her eyes drooping by the time her plate is almost empty.

“Tired from your first day?” Peter teases, clearing their plates and grabbing the bag of treats Lara Jean brought home from the bakery. “I guess you’re probably too tired to eat this sprinkle cookie Lara Jean brought home then, huh?”

Emmi perks up, twisting in her chair and shaking her head. “No way! I can still eat that!” She exclaims, smiling when Peter sets it out on a plate in front of her.

“What do you say to Lara Jean for bringing you a treat?”

“Thank you Lara Jean,” Emmi smiles, mouthful of cookie.

Lara Jean laughs, taking a bite of her own dessert. “You’re welcome, peanut. A little first day of school treat to celebrate,” She says, and Emmi nods, listening to Peter and Lara Jean talk while she finishes her dessert.

Lara Jean walks down to Peter’s room to find her sweats and a t-shirt of his to change into while Peter gets Emmi bathed and into bed, stopping in Emmi’s room to say goodnight just before she and Peter read together before she goes to sleep.

She takes the alone time to work through their wedding checklist, responding to emails and cake orders on her laptop, and savoring these little moments and the little routine they’ve made for themselves despite not living together.

While Lara Jean knows living together will take some changes and adjusting for all three of them, it’s evenings like these where she comes home from work and helps with dinner and listens to Emmi’s day that has her excited to figure it all out together, even when it does get rough at times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's little kitty and owen references for everyone who's been asking about them :) both of them will be back soon :)
> 
> thank you guys so so much for taking the time to read/comment/leave kudos on this story :) i'm so glad you guys are still enjoying it!
> 
> more sooon :)
> 
> title of the chapter is from Never Grow Up by Taylor Swift


	11. just let me hold you for a little longer now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Lara Jean move in together, Owen and Peter have a conversation, and Emmi asks a big question.

Peter and Lara Jean sign a lease on a new apartment halfway through October.

They looked through countless available places, Lara Jean diligently made lists of pros and cons about each one, intently listening to Emmi’s opinions about each place. In the end they decided on an apartment with three bedrooms and space for them to grow into, a place that felt like home the minute Lara Jean walked through the door.

“I’d gladly give up the short walk to the bakery if it meant having this apartment,” She said to Peter one night as she climbed into bed and curled up against his side. He laughed when she laid her head on his chest, pulling her close with his arm wrapped underneath her.

“I really liked it there,” He mumbles against the top of her head, fingers tracing patterns along her upper arm. “It felt like home. The bedrooms were big, it had a pool, and Emmi loved it.”

“So we’re doing this?” Lara Jean asks, breath warm against his bare chest as she tries to mask her excitement. “This is our first place together?”

She pulls back just enough to look up at Peter, the smile on her face growing wider. “This is it,” She whispers, moving closer to him so she can kiss him.

He pulls her to straddle his waist, and while the night only grows darker and their alarms looming not too far in the distance, all they’re worried about is each other.

_______________________________

Moving into their new place takes weeks of purging through their own apartments and donating things they wouldn’t need or wouldn’t be using, packing what they did want into boxes, and enlisting the help of their families to actually move into the place.

Kitty and Owen come home from school for the weekend to help, taking Emmi to the park when she’s more in the way than anything else. Peter can’t remember the last time he was this exhausted, every muscle in his body aching far more than when he was playing lacrosse in high school and college after a long day.

They order pizza after the first night, Kitty and Owen spend the night at the new place so they can get started on finishing unpacking early the following morning, and Emmi is more than excited to have a pizza party on the floor of their new apartment with all of them huddled around a cardboard box that sits in place of a coffee table for now.

“This isn’t going to become a regular thing, Em,” Peter reminds her when she says how excited she is for the millionth time. “As soon as we get the kitchen table here tomorrow we’re going back to eating there.”  
Emmi juts her bottom lip out before nodding, taking another bite of her pizza. “Fine,” She agrees, laughing when Owen grabs her and pulls her into his lap when she goes to grab another slice.

Peter puts Emmi to bed in the bedroom she chose with her mattress on the floor, her bed frame not yet built. It doesn’t take long for her to fall asleep, and on his way out Peter clicks on the nightlight, shutting the door partway behind him in case she wakes up and is scared about where they are.

He and Owen set up the bed frame for Lara Jean’s old bed in the guest room while Kitty and Lara Jean tackle unpacking boxes for the kitchen, keeping it down so they don’t wake Emmi. He and Owen work in silence for a while, following the directions that Lara Jean had of course kept when she first bought the bed, only talking when they pass tools between the two of them.

“You’re sure you don’t mind sharing this room with Kitty? We can move boxes out of the way so we can pull out the couch for you if that’s better.”

Owen shrugs, tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth as he focuses on screwing one of the posts together, avoiding his brother’s eye contact. “I really don’t mind sharing this room with her,” He says quietly. “It’s much easier than moving a bunch of boxes just so I can pull out the couch and sleep.”

Peter nods, hiding his smile as he works on his own side of the bed, and then looks at his brother. “Is there something going on between the two of you?”

Owen looks up at his older brother mildly horrified, and Peter would be lying if he said he didn’t get some enjoyment out of his brother’s embarrassment.

“It’s kind of hard to date her when we don’t go to the same school.”

And well, yeah, Peter knows the feeling of that. It’s part of the reason why he and Lara Jean fell apart. So he doesn’t have much of an argument and instead he just nods dumbly, finishing with the last screw before looking back at his brother.

“Okay, well _was_ there something going on between the two of you?” He presses. “You know, like over the summer when you two were in the same place?”

Owen blows out a breath, running his hands through his hair. “I don’t know? We’ve been like, fooling around or whatever. Mostly in the summer, but even now when we’re both home or we visit each other at school,” He admits quietly, tips of his ears turning pink. “I mean, we didn’t really want to label it as anything. Especially after what happened between you and Lara Jean.”

“You know that was entirely my fault, right?”

Owen nods, shrugging. “It was kind of the distance too, you know.”

“I was a dick after my injury and the surgery. The distance was hard, yeah, but it was the way I treated her after that that ruined it.”

Owen doesn’t say anything, and for a moment Peter wonders why he was so adamant that it was only his fault. That the distance had nothing to do with the fact that they broke up.

It did make a difference. It was something that lingered in the background, never to really be spoken about. And Kitty and Owen are closer in distance than they were, but it doesn’t mean it would go any better, especially after they looked at how their older siblings fared with long distance relationships.

"We're both seniors, we’re both working on making sure we graduate. Kitty has law school to worry about, I've got med school applications to think about. Even if we were going to date, I don’t think now is the right time.”

Peter nods. “You’re a hell of a lot smarter than I was kid, you know that?”

“Yeah, well, I’m just trying to learn from what didn’t work from you.”

“That was definitely a backhanded compliment, but my ego needs a boost and so I’m going to take it,” Peter smirks, moving to finish the last of the building. “You _are_ being good to Kitty though, right? Treating her right, not being an idiot?”

“I really don’t need the lecture from you. I already got it from Mom,” Owen sighs, looking up at his brother. “But for the record, yes. I’m treating her right, we’re being safe, whatever.”

“Wait, Mom knew about this?” Peter asks, eyebrows raising. “You really told Mom about your adventures with Kitty?”

“Well, no. Not _all_ of them,” Owen argues. “I mean, she kind of figured out something was going on when I hung out with Kitty a lot over the summer. I just told her we weren’t labeling it and if it ever became more serious I would tell her.”

“I’m sure that stopped all her questions.”

“No, obviously not,” Owen rolls his eyes, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “She just kept saying for me to be safe, and I told her as long as I didn’t end up getting her pregnant like you did with Juliet it couldn’t be that bad.”

“Thanks, bro. Glad I could at least be that example,” Peter smiles.

“Hey, I told you I was learning from every mistake you made. I didn’t elaborate if I meant with just Lara Jean or overall. And for as great as Emmi has made our lives and how we would never trade her for anything, you didn’t mean to get Juliet pregnant.”

Peter rolls his eyes as the two of them fall back into a working silence. They set the bed up on one of the walls and both decide they’ll move it when Lara Jean thinks it should really go, and eventually the coax the girls to bed, promising they’ll get up early to keep working.

They’re living in a sea of boxes and it doesn’t feel like that’ll ever change, but at this point Peter doesn’t care. Because they’re spending their first night in the apartment they picked out together, and in so many ways this feels like the beginning of the rest of their lives.

_______________________________

It starts three weeks after they’re settled into their new place together.

The boxes are mostly unpacked (there’s a few lingering in the master closet that Lara Jean swears one day she’ll have energy to go through), rooms are organized, artwork is hung, and they’ve fallen into a routine that seems perfect when it comes to getting Emmi to school and to work on time now that they live in a new area.

But Emmi’s been a brat. And it’s not the normal phase that Peter’s dealt with before. She’s been fine in school — Peter hasn’t gotten any emails or notes from her teacher saying that there’s been something going on that they need to address — but at home she’s been anything but her normal self. She doesn’t ask to go to friends houses or if they can come over, she’s been defying anything he tells her to do, she throws a fit when she has to do something without any other option.

For a while Peter lets it happen. He deals with the tantrums one at a time, talking with her or sending her to timeout when she refuses to listen. Lara Jean watches from the side, firmly believing that this isn’t her place to step in.

“Do you think it’s because I live here all the time now? Like I’m here permanently and we moved into a new apartment. That’s a lot of changes for her, and she has sort of been distant from me.”

Peter shrugs, falling back against the pillows in their bed after finally getting Emmi to fall asleep. “I don’t know. I would think if it was that she would say. It’s not _that_ much different than the old place, you were still there most of the time. And you haven’t done anything out of the ordinary to make her act up this much.”

Lara Jean nods, setting her book down on her nightstand and leaning her head against his shoulder. “Maybe we leave it be for a little. Maybe it’s just an adjustment thing, or if it’s something else she’ll tell us when she’s ready.”

Peter agrees, calls his mom for advice the next day on his way to work, and when she says to give it a chance and give Emmi a chance to come to him it’s what he decides is best for them in that moment.

But it doesn’t get better. And when Emmi spends an entire walk home one day refusing to hold his hand, crossing her arms over her chest and staring at her feet while he directs her through the crowds of people, he knows this needs to be addressed in that moment.

“Do you have homework?”

“I always do,” Emmi mumbles, walking down the hall to their apartment.

“Okay, well we’re doing it after we eat dinner. No excuses, Em.”

“I did most of it at after school club,” Emmi whines, head falling back. “I don’t need your help.”

“Maybe you don’t, but I’m still sitting with you and doing it,” He warns, opening their front door to let her inside.

She ignores Lara Jean in the kitchen getting started on dinner, tosses her backpack onto the floor by their shoes, and stomps down the hallway.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Peter says, stepping out into the hall to look down at his daughter. “You don’t just throw your backpack and shoes on the ground, Emmi. Come hang it up and put your shoes away.”

Emmi groans, turning around and hanging her backpack on the hook and her shoes on the rack, turning back to walk down the hall.

“What is going on with you?” Peter asks, and yes, it sounds desperate. And he probably should have phrased it more appropriately for a 6 year old, but he doesn’t know what to say at this point that will just make all of this stop. That will bring back his little girl and make her back to her normal self. “This little girl that’s been around the last few weeks is not my little girl that I know. Did something happen to make you upset? Is it something that Lara Jean or I did?”

Lara Jean watches from the kitchen, half stirring the pasta and half watching the interaction in the living room in front of her. She’s almost expecting Emmi to just walk to her room and slam the door like a teenager would, but instead she watches as Emmi stops in the middle of the living room, arms crossed over her chest, and casts her eyes towards her socks.

“Kids at school are being mean,” She mumbles.

Peter feels himself deflate. His shoulders fall as he slowly walks back towards his daughter, bending down to her height. “Em —“

“They said that Lara Jean isn’t my real mom and that my real mom didn’t want me so she ran away. And that she never loved me and Lara Jean doesn’t love me either,” Emmi turns back around, eyes flicking between Peter and Lara Jean as her bottom lip wobbles. “That’s not true, is it Daddy?”

“Oh Emmi,” Peter sighs. He holds his arms out for her to fall into, and as she buries her head into the crook of his neck Peter feels her body shake, sobs finally escaping her body. “Baby, that couldn’t be further from the truth.”

Peter rubs Emmi’s back, holding her for a minute so tightly to his chest that he's half worried she can’t breathe. He shares a glance with Lara Jean, one that’s both pitying and heartbreaking at the same time, and Peter feels like his heart is going to shatter.

“Emmi, your mom did not leave because she didn’t love you,” Peter says when Emmi’s quieted down in his arms, fast tears turning into small hiccups. “Her leaving was _not_ your fault, do you understand me?”

Emmi pulls herself from her place against his neck, nodding. “You promise?”

“I promise you,” Peter says seriously, brushing a few tears away with the pad of his thumb. “She left on her own because of reasons that you can’t understand right now, but it had nothing to do with you. And if I have to spend the rest of my life convincing you of that, I will.”

Emmi nods, head falling back against his shoulder as she hiccups.

“Do you want me to talk to the teacher? Maybe tell her that kids are being mean so she can have a talk with them?”

“It’ll make it worse,” She whispers, voice hoards as she sniffs, trying to stop herself from crying again. “They’ll just say I’m a big baby for telling you.”

Peter nods, presses a kiss to the top of her head and runs his hand through her hair. “If it gets any worse you need to tell me, okay? You can’t just let people say things like this and get away with it.”

“Okay,” Emmi mumbles, but she doesn't make any attempts to move from Peter’s arms and so he carefully stands up, walking to sit on the sofa with her in his lap.

“You know Em,” Lara Jean says after a moment, turning dinner down so it doesn’t burn as she walks out to the sofa. “I may not be your real mom, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t act like it if you wanted me to.”

Emmi opens her eyes, moving her head just enough so she’s able to see Lara Jean looking at her. “You would be like my mom?” She asks quietly, fingers tangled in Peter’s shirt.

Lara Jean nods, a warm smile spreading across her face as she reaches out to run her hand down Emmi’s back. “If you wanted me to, yes. And I do love you, Emmi, okay? Don’t listen to what those kids say.”

Emmi nods against Peter’s shoulder, taking a deep breath. “Can I call you Mom?”

Lara Jean feels like her heart stops when the question is asked quietly, eyebrows raising and a smile tugging at her lips. She glances at Peter, who looks just as surprised that Emmi asked as Lara Jean feels.

“I think that’s something you have to ask your dad if he’s okay with it,” Lara Jean says, smiling when Emmi pulls her head from his shoulder, looking up at her dad.

“Can I, Daddy? Would it be okay?”

“I think it’s more than okay,” He smiles, kissing Emmi’s forehead. “If you’re absolutely sure you want to call her mom, then I think you should.”

“I want to,” Emmi nods, and carefully she climbs off of her dad’s lap, crawling into Lara Jean’s and hugging her tightly. “I love you, Mom.”

Lara Jean feels like her heart is going to burst out of her chest, but she just squeezes Emmi to her tighter, falling in love with the whole moment. “I love you too, peanut,” She whispers in reply, savoring the moment for another minute. “Now, dinner is ready and you need to go wash your hands,” She smiles, and while Emmi is still upset she does smile and nod, sliding off her lap and walking down the hall to the bathroom.

“She called me Mom!” Lara Jean whispers excitedly when Emmi disappears down the hall, Peter smiling wider than he ever has before as he reaches out for his fiancé, pulling her in for a kiss.

“She did,” He mumbles against her lips, kissing her again. “You’re okay with it, right?”

“More than okay with it,” Lara Jean confirms, which only makes Peter more excited, pulling away when Emmi returns after cleaning her hands.

“Thank you,” He mumbles as Emmi walks to the kitchen to help carry things over to the table, holding out his hand to help Lara Jean stand up. “For being the best mom ever to her.”

A chill goes up Lara Jean’s spine when he says that, squeezing his hand as they walk back into the kitchen.

And while it’s going to take a while for Lara Jean to get used to someone calling her mom, it’s an adjustment she’s more than willing to get used to. One she’s hoping will bring brighter days and happier moments for the three of them after a stressful few weeks.

—

After a long afternoon Lara Jean offers to put Emmi to bed while Peter cleans the kitchen after dinner, a tradeoff that seems fair in the moment.

Emmi doesn’t protest, although she is exhausted from the drama that afternoon and ding homework after dinner, so Lara Jean figures she does have it pretty easy.

She and Emmi read a few books, Emmi curled up against her as she works her way through each page. Lara Jean listens for a while, helps out when she needs to, but mostly thinks about how in awe she is of this little human and how even through all the rough patches and changes she’s still this amazing kid who’s working so hard in school to get better.

When they finish the chapter Emmi bookmarks her place and sets her book back down on her nightstand, curling up against Lara Jean’s side.

“You okay, peanut?” Lara Jean asks for a moment, and when Emmi doesn’t answer right away Lara Jean half thinks she fell asleep.

“Did you call Trina mommy?”

The questions catches Lara Jean off guard in a way she wasn’t expecting. It had been hours since they discussed her calling Lara Jean Mom, hours since Emmi had calmed down and been in a better mood, and for a while Lara Jean half thought Emmi had forgotten about it.

“I did not,” Lara Jean finally answers quietly, twisting one of Emmi’s damp curls from her bath around her finger. “But I was a teenager when my dad married Trina, and so it was a little different. I still see her as my mom now that my mom has passed away.”

Emmi nods against Lara Jean’s shoulder, and Lara Jean hears her yawn. “Would you have called her Mom if you were littler like me?”

“I think I probably would have,” Lara Jean decides after a moment. “But Emmi, if you don’t want to call me Mom you don’t have to.”

“I really, really want to,” Emmi says without hesitation, twisting so she can look up at Lara Jean. “But sometimes I might forget to.”

“That’s okay,” Lara Jean laughs, looking down at the little girl who’s struggling to keep her eyes open. “I think it’s going to take all of us some time to figure it all out.”

Emmi nods, yawning and pulling herself to lay down against her pillows. “I love you,” She whispers, words slurring as she finally lets her eyes close. “Night, Mama.”

Lara Jean smiles, leaning over to press a kiss to Emmi’s forehead as she carefully stands up, tiptoeing her way out of the room.

Peter is putting the last of the pots on the rack to dry when she returns, drying his hands off and walking out to the kitchen, handing Lara Jean her glass of wine as they move to find something on Netflix to watch for a little while.

“She fall asleep okay? Didn’t give you a fight with bath time or bed?”

Lara Jean sits down on the sofa, curling her legs under her and shaking her head. “She was perfect, Peter. And I’m not just saying that.”

Peter nods, looking over at Lara Jean in amusement. “So you’re still dying over her calling you Mom?” He teases, but in reality he’s just as excited, the whole thing making it feel a little more solid, a little more permanent that the three of them are going to figure this all out.

“God, yes,” Lara Jean laughs, taking a sip of her wine. “Here I thought this whole attitude phase was my fault, but it was the opposite!”

“It was never going to be your fault,” Peter mumbles around his glass.

“Still.”

“Did you ever think she’d want to call me Mom?” Lara Jean asks after a moment, sinking back against the pillows as they decide to watch _Parks and Rec_ for the millionth time.

“Want the honest answer?” He smirks. “Yes, I did. But I didn’t think she’d want to call you Mom so soon. I thought it was going to take more of an adjustment period. I figured maybe after the wedding. Maybe not until we had kids of our own.”

Lara Jean nods, hiding her smile behind her wine glass. “I’m really, really happy it happened now.”

“Me too,” Peter agrees, reaching out to squeeze her hand as they settled back to watch the show for a while.

Lara Jean thinks about telling Peter about her and Emmi’s conversation at bedtime, but decides against it. Because as much as Lara Jean loves sharing her relationship that she has with Emmi with Peter, there’s some things she thinks she wants to start keeping for herself.

Like little moments like these. Where they won’t alter anything if Peter doesn’t know about them, where she can just have little moments with Emmi for herself. Little memories of their lives beginning together.

And this is definitely one of those moments.

_______________________________

“So she really asked if she could call Lara Jean her mom on her own?”

It’s not that Gabe was surprised at the development as he and Peter meet for lunch in between their work days, but he was just surprised that it was Emmi that brought it up, that Emmi was the one who seemed most excited by this entire prospect.

Peter nods, taking a bite of his salad. “We were both kind of surprised, but it just felt right. And I’m sure she won’t call her mom all the time at first at least.”

Gabe nods, reaching for his drink as he stares at his best friend. “Are you still worried about school though? You know how kids are, they’re not going to just stop now that Emmi says she’s calling Lara Jean mom.”

Peter sighs, staring at his plate. “I’m definitely still worried about that,” Peter admits quietly. He’s tried to push it out of his mind, tried to tell himself that Emmi would come to him if it’s getting worse or if they kids won’t stop.

But Emmi is 6. And while she knows to do the right thing, he doesn’t know if this qualifies as a right thing, and he’s worried that she’ll just ignore it and it will still be as bad as before.

“I can’t march down to the school and tell her teacher, Emmi would never trust me again. But do you know how hard it is to trust that a 6 year old will tell you if she’s still getting teased at school because her mom left her? How did those kids even know her mom left?”

“Some kids have pretty shitty parents lately,” Gabe shrugs. “Maybe they heard their parents talking about how you were a single dad and how Juliet left. And then when they saw Lara Jean…” Gabe trails off. “It would make sense.”

Peter sighs, nodding. “I just wish there was something I could’ve done to stop this from ever happening.”

“Look, I know it sucks seeing your kid be so upset over something that was out of your control no matter how much you think you could’ve prevented it, but at the end of the day Emmi is winning out of this.”

Peter furrows his eyebrows. “How so?”

Gabe shrugs. “She’s more loved than she ever has been before. I mean, you and I and our families and friends have always loved her, but now she has Lara Jean’s whole family. And if you could’ve dreamed up the perfect scenario for her it would be that you could find someone that would only shower her with the love you’ve always wanted to give her.”

Peter hates that his best friend has him this close to crying in the middle of a crowded restaurant. “You’re right,” Peter mumbles, unsure of what else to say.

“I know it hasn’t been easy. You’ve had some really shitty things thrown at you, but Peter. Emmi is thriving, and for as hard as everything has been the last few years, this moment in time is pretty fucking amazing.”

Peter smiles, finishing off his salad and nodding in agreement.

It was a statement he could definitely agree with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> emmi asked a big question!! i know a TON of you had been waiting for this, and as much as i wanted to just write it immediately i wanted to make sure it was the right timing! there's more coming with this, but it's a start! hopefully you guys like the way i added it in, even if it was kind of heartbreaking
> 
> also i know it's been two whole chapters with minimal wedding planning, but it will be back next chapter! and we're still going to be skipping forward here and there so it's not dragged out haha :)
> 
> thank you all for writing/commenting/leaving kudos :) i know i'm like a broken record about it but i've never had responses like this to anything i've written, and it kind of blows me away how much you guys like this little series!
> 
> more will be up soooon :)
> 
> title of the chapter is from Never Be Alone by Shawn Mendes :)


	12. wherever I'm going, I'm already home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they all go to dinner with Lucas and his boyfriend, celebrate Thanksgiving with both of their families, and the wedding planning continues.

“Lucas and Mark said they’d meet us at the restaurant at 7,” Lara Jean reminds Peter, apologizing quietly to Emmi when she hits her scalp with a bobby pin doing her hair for school.

“And you’re sure they’re cool with us bringing Em? Because I could ask Gabe to take her or see if Owen wants to venture into the city for the night.”

“Lucas wants Emmi to come. Requested it, actually,” Lara Jean smiles. “And besides, according to Kitty she and Owen are going to see that new Christmas movie that just came out tonight.”

Peter raises his eyebrows, packing their lunches and putting them into their respective bags. “Thanksgiving break is bringing date nights for them?”

“Don’t think they want us to call them date nights.”

“Kitty and Uncle Owen are dating?” Emmi asks, looking between Peter and Lara Jean.

“No, Em. They’re just friends,” Peter covers quickly, sharing a look of relief with Lara Jean when Emmi just shrugs and goes back to finishing her cereal.

“Okay, well Emmi and I will meet you at the bakery and we’ll walk to the restaurant,” He decides, because it’s what makes the most sense. Lara Jean agrees, gives them both kisses on her way out the door, and quietly shuts the door to their apartment on her way to work so she can finish up with special orders in time to go to dinner.

With Thanksgiving just days away, Lara Jean felt like she was swimming in special orders for pies and cupcakes for holiday gatherings. They all had been working overtime, diligently getting through the order forms that hung on the back wall, a tiny celebration from all the workers when another order form would be finished and set on top of the box.

The text from Lucas came two weeks prior. He was bringing his new boyfriend Mark into town for the holidays, and while he understands if she was unable to, he’d really like it if they could meet for dinner while he’s there for Thanksgiving. She almost declines, asks for a raincheck and promises that next time he’s back home she would absolutely make time to see him, but it felt wrong.

It had been months since they had been able to hang out, and a dinner for a few hours wasn’t going to kill her. So she sent back a reply that said they’d be there, promises that they’ll bring Emmi with them, and then immediately puts it in her calendar so she doesn’t forget and stay at work late like she has been the last few weeks.

The bakery has a steady stream of customers, meaning there’s no breaks for some people to come in the back and help out. Lara Jean takes 20 minutes for lunch, answers texts from Peter and Lucas about that night, and then returns with more focus than ever, icing the last of a cupcake order just as Peter ushers Emmi through the door that connects them to the front of the store.

“We’re a little early if you still need to finish up,” Peter says after leaning down for a quick kiss, his thumb gliding along her hip. “Emmi promised she’d be good. And Jenna already took her off my hands.”

Lara Jean nods, focusing on counting the order and boxing it up, sticking the order form to the top and putting it in the fridge. “Just let me double check the pie orders and then I’ll get changed and we can go? It won’t take us long to get there.”

Peter nods, kissing her temple and walking into Chris’ office. Lara Jean moves to work on some last minute pies, listens to the chatter of Chris and Peter from her office, and tries not to get jealous when she can hear the two of them laughing.

She finishes up the last of the order she had been working on, stashing it in the fridge to be picked up the following morning, and then finds Emmi at another table with Jenna filling eclairs. “Mama, this one looks really hard,” Emmi says when Lara Jean is close enough.

Lara Jean doesn’t miss the smile on Jenna’s face when she hears Emmi call her mama, biting back a smile herself. “I don’t think you’re quite ready to fill eclairs yet, peanut. Maybe in a few years,” She promises. “Ready to go to dinner?”

Emmi nods, sliding off the stool and hugging Jenna when she’s done filling another eclair. “Bye Jenna! Thank you for letting me watch!”

“You’re always welcome, Em. I’ll see you soon!”

Emmi takes Lara Jean’s hand, following her down to Chris’ office where they stand in the doorway. “Are we ready?”

“We are,” Peter nods, standing up from the chair and fist bumping Chris. “See you later, Chris.”

“Bye, Kavinsky. Tell Lucas I say hi and that I’m insanely jealous of this dinner date.”

“You could still come,” Lara Jean argues when she’s back from changing, but Chris just shakes her head.

“Going out with Nico anyway,” She smirks. “I’ll see Lucas another night, or next time he’s in town.”

Lara Jean slips on her coat, hugging Chris goodbye and taking Emmi’s hand again as they leave the bakery, making their way down to the restaurant where they’re meeting Lucas and Mark.

She practically feels the stress leave her body as the cool air blows against her face, Emmi discussing her day at school as she walks between the two of them, and while the orders still left to do are overwhelming and she feels like maybe she should be at the bakery, right now this is far more important.

She just needs to learn how to balance bakery time and family time.

—

Dinner ends up being the perfect distraction.

For as worried as Lara Jean was that maybe it would be awkward between the four of them and having Emmi there, it couldn’t be further from the truth. They catch each other up on their lives, reminisce about high school days and the fake notes and how Lucas always knew this would be something permanent, and Lara Jean feels this warmth spread through her chest that she definitely blames on the wine, but she _knows_ it’s from hearing that even Lucas knew this would work out.

“I mean even when you guys were fake dating I believed it was real, and there was something different about it,” Lucas shrugs as he takes a bite of his dinner, staring at both Peter and Lara Jean. “And now we’re a few months away from you guys getting married! So I wasn’t wrong.”

“It just took us a little longer to catch up to your theory,” Peter smirks behind his wine glass, reaching for Emmi’s drink for her to take before she knocks everything over.

Mark talks about where he grew up (a small town in New Jersey) and how he doesn’t really talk to many people of his high school anymore. He was an athlete, still likes running, and after much prodding from Lara Jean and a boastful comment from Lucas, he admits that he’s working for a major lawyer in New York to get some experience under his belt.

“It was a crazy circumstance of luck,” He says, his cheeks tinged pink. “But I’m insanely grateful. Just hoping that it pays off and I’m able to find a good job once I’m done here.”

“I don’t think you’d have any trouble finding a job after working for a big lawyer in New York City,” Peter smiles. “I’m sure that’ll give you a lot of credibility and really good references.”

Mark shrugs. “Yeah, I would think so. But New York City is pretty cutthroat, so who knows what could happen.”

“You’ll find a really great job,” Lucas smiles. Lara Jean notices him grab Mark’s hand under the table. “And then we’ll finally be able to afford an apartment that can fit two people comfortably.”

Lucas talks about his job working in public relations for a firm that works with a variety of companies, and while it’s long hours and does take away from date nights that he and Mark could be having, he’s absolutely in love with his job. Lara Jean didn’t need him to say that, she sees the way it’s written on his face, the way he talks about it in the same way she talks about the bakery.

He’s doing something he enjoys.

The conversation continues, Emmi talks about her school and all her friends, and Lucas listens intently, waiting until there’s a lull in the conversation before he shifts his attention to the 6 year old.

“Hey Emmi, did you know that I knew your dad and Lara Jean when they were in high school?” He asks.

Emmi reaches for a french fry on her plate, shaking her head. “You did? Were you friends?”

“I was more friends with Lara Jean than your dad,” Lucas smiles. “But they were so cute when they were dating.”

“Did they kiss all the time?”

The table laughs, Lucas setting his fork down as he nods. “All the time. It’s so gross, right?”

“Yes!” Emmi sighs, Peter biting back a laugh at how his daughter sounds like she’s relieved someone finally agrees with her. “I always tell them to stop kissing so much cause it’s gross.”

“Good thinking, Emmi,” Lucas smiles, reaching out for a high five that Emmi returns.

Lucas tells her about how her dad was popular and one of the best lacrosse players, laughing when Emmi rolls her eyes.

“He always says he was the best at lacrosse. I don’t like it though.”

Lucas fake gasps. “A Kavinsky not liking lacrosse?”

“I know, I know,” Peter sighs, holding his hands up in defeat. “I’ve come to terms with it. It just wasn’t her thing. But she does like soccer and softball, and so I’m going to take my win there.”

“So she isn’t too far away from being like her dad,” He teases.

Peter laughs and shakes his head. “She is most definitely mine.”

There’s a gap in the conversation, Emmi taking another bite of her dinner before looking at both Lucas and Mark.

“Did you know my dad too?” Emmi asks Mark, who quickly shakes his head.

“I met Lucas in college. This is the first time I’m meeting them too,” He smiles.

Emmi nods, taking another bite of her chicken nugget.

“So, Emmi, I hear you’re going to be the flower girl in the wedding,” Mark says, watching Emmi grow excited when they’re talking about the wedding. “Are you excited?”

“Uh huh! I got my dress and I’m going to walk down the aisle before Mama does and I’m gonna stand with Daddy while we wait,” She says, and while Lara Jean doesn’t know if that’s the _definite_ way they’re going to do things, she is impressed that Emmi seemed to remember everything about it despite only talking about it a handful of times.

“You’re going to be so good at it I think,” Lucas smiles. “We can’t wait to watch you and see how pretty you look in your dress!”

Emmi nods, listening as Lara Jean fills them both in on wedding planning and how it’s going, Peter talks about the plans and how he wishes they could just get married and forget about everything else, reaching over to Lara Jean and taking her hand, squeezing.

“We can’t wait for it to be here either,” Lucas admits, Mark immediately nodding in agreement. They finish up dinner, split the bill, and just as Emmi starts getting tired and restless Peter ushers her out of her chair, helping her shrug her coat on.

Lucas makes them promise to make plans to at least visit New York and see where they live. “I’ll take you to all the touristy things and my favorite places. I think Emmi would love it.”

“She would,” Peter agrees, letting Emmi hold onto his fingers as she stands in front of him. “Which makes me worried that she’d just want to stay with you.”

“Don’t worry, I’d bring her to our apartment and she’d quickly change her mind,” Lucas smiles, hugging them both. “We’ll see you soon? Text me and let me know how the planning is going.”

“I absolutely will,” Lara Jean promises, hugging Mark as Lucas says goodbye to Emmi, hugging her as well.

For the first time in a while the goodbye doesn’t feel permanent, and after one final hug Lara Jean takes Peter’s hand while he carries Emmi, the three of them setting off for the apartment that was finally beginning to feel like home.

—

“Dinner was nice, wasn’t it?” Lara Jean asks, not at all ashamed to admit that she was watching her fiancé slowly unbutton his shirt.

“It was,” He nods in agreement, running his hand over his face as he yawns. “I forgot how great Lucas is.”

Lara Jean nods, crawling into bed and burying herself under the blankets as Peter disappears into the bathroom to finish getting ready for bed.

“Maybe we should think about going to New York. Even for a long weekend,” She mumbles as he crawls in beside her. “Em would love it, and it might be nice for us to get away again. This time to somewhere more adventurous.”

“It would be fun,” Peter agrees, lips pressed lightly against the top of her head. “Let’s figure it out when I’m not half asleep, yes?”

And so Lara Jean agrees, leaning back to kiss him goodnight softly, wondering how she got so lucky to have someone like him in her life.

_______________________________

Rather than deciding on which family to spend Thanksgiving with, Peter and Lara Jean propose the idea of celebrating together with both families there. Everyone immediately agrees, Dr. Covey and Trina offer to host, which takes the pressure off of Peter’s mom after she hosted the last few get togethers.

“We’re going to see Grandma and Uncle Owen though, right?” Emmi asks as Lara Jean tames her curls in the bathroom, Emmi’s hands smoothing out her Thanksgiving dress.

“Yeah, they’re both going to be at my dad’s house,” Lara Jean explains, running her hands through Emmi’s curls once more. “Like it?”

“Uh huh,” Emmi nods, turning around and hugging her quickly. “Thanks, Lara Jean.”

“Welcome, baby,” She smiles, leaning down to kiss the top of her head. “Go get your shoes on so we can leave.”

Emmi disappears down the hallway just as Peter walks out of their bedroom ready to go. “I put our bags for the night in the car. My mom said she’d take Emmi for the night so we don’t have to spend it separately again.”

“Maybe I want sister time,” Lara Jean smirks, perching on her tip toes to kiss Peter. “Kidding, Ravi will be there too. You two can hang out and I can still get my sister time.”

Peter rolls his eyes, kisses her anyway for good measure, and walks down the hallway to slip on his own shoes beside his daughter.

—

Peter had never really had any of those storybook holidays with extended family gathering around the table to celebrate together.

Even when his dad was around they stuck to a few family members and not much else, always going to one of his grandparents. But usually their year didn’t line up with his parents siblings years, and so instead of having all of his parents siblings there and their kids and grandparents, usually it was just a few of them.

By the time he, Lara Jean and Emmi arrive the house is bustling with cheer. Dr. Covey and Trina decorated the house for the occasion, his mom was moving around the kitchen helping get the last of the sides out of the oven and into bowls, and when Peter pulls away from the hug from Dr. Covey he notices Margot and Ravi curled up on the couch talking with Kitty and Owen.

Emmi slips her shoes and coat off at the front door, stepping down into the living room and jumping into Owen’s arms. That part is normal, Peter knows, but Kitty is pressed into Owen’s side and Margot is sitting across from them, and that part isn’t normal.

But as he looks around the house and sees the life that’s brought into it, he thinks maybe this is what he always wanted in a holiday celebration.

Lara Jean sets the pie she made for dessert in the fridge before hugging Trina and his mom, immediately asking how she can help. He doesn’t move for a minute at first, watching at the entrance of the kitchen before his mom takes notice, waking over to hug her son.

“Nice, isn’t it?” She mumbles when she pulls away, the grin on her face stretching to her ears. “Better than the four of us around our kitchen table.”

“It is,” Peter mumbles. And that’s not to say that Peter didn’t like those holidays. It was all he knew, and when Juliet left it was the one constant he craved. But having the families together? This is what he wanted for Emmi.

“My own grandchild didn’t even come say hello to me,” She fake pouts, making Peter laugh.

“She saw Owen and it was like no one else existed,” Peter rolls his eyes, thanking Trina when she puts a glass of wine in his hand when he sits at the counter. “Which, by the way. You knew about he and Kitty?”

“Well, no,” His mom smiles. “I mean, I knew some things. Caught him sneaking in one night after he was out with her. And when we’d eat dinner he’d have this goofy smile on his face whenever his phone would light up. Finally he gave it up and told me about how they’d been hanging out but that it was nothing serious.”

Peter nods, reaching for a carrot on the tray as Lara Jean smacks his hand, reminding him it’s for dinner. “You think it’s going to work out? You know, maybe become a serious thing?”

His mom sighs, going back to cutting up the vegetables Lara Jean wasn’t working on. “I’m not sure. They’re worried about the distance thing.”

She doesn’t say because of he and Lara Jean. But she also doesn’t need to.

“I do know that she makes him really happy. And maybe that’s enough for now, especially after the last few years the two of you have had.”

Peter nods, his phone vibrating in his pocket. He pulls it out, notices the name the text is from, and sighs.

“Who is it?”

It’s Lara Jean this time, standing in front of him holding her wine glass. She runs her hands through his hair. “Your phone,” She nudges when he doesn’t answer, “Who just texted you? You kind of look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Peter sighs, glancing back at his phone before back to Lara Jean. “My dad,” He mumbles, making sure his mom didn’t hear him. “And I really just want to have a stress free Thanksgiving and enjoy this because it’s everything I wanted growing up, but of course he has to ruin it.”

“What did it say?”

Peter shrugs, reaching forward to grab his phone.

_Happy Thanksgiving, Peter. Hope things are going well with you guys. Nicole and I got your wedding invitation and we’ll both be there. Congratulations._

“That’s not so bad,” Lara Jean mumbles when she reads over the text herself. “I mean, he’s coming.”

“Don’t get your hopes up,” Peter laughs, shaking his head. “Wouldn’t be the first time he’s promised he’d be there and then didn’t show up.”

A frown tugs at Lara Jean’s lips as she sets his phone back down on the counter. “Come on, let’s go have the best Thanksgiving with the family that matters.”

And so they do, carrying the food over to the table and sitting down as one huge family for their first holiday together.

It makes Peter forget about everything else.

—

“So how’s wedding planning going?” Margot asks once everyone is settled in at the table.

Peter and Lara Jean share a glance, and Lara Jean sighs. “Better,” She admits, which isn’t exactly a lie. “We’re going to work on seating arrangements this weekend, but we picked food and cake flavors and that feels like a huge hurdle to get over.”

“Don’t stress too much over the seating. It’ll all be fine,” Trina smiles, and while it’s good advice, it’s not necessarily advice Peter and Lara Jean think they’ll be able to listen to.

They’ve been stressing over everything. Even the cake flavors.

“We were thinking of doing your bridal shower in the Spring,” Kitty pipes up, stabbing her salad with her fork. “Which, by the way, Daddy can we have the bridal shower here?”

Dan smiles, swallowing his bite of turkey. “Of course,” He nods. “But please let me know when that will be so I can leave the house for a few hours. No offense.”

“None taken,” Lara Jean says immediately. “We’ll definitely let you know.”

“But does the Spring work?” Kitty asks again, attention shifted back to her sister. “Maybe April? Then bachelorette weekend in May.”

Lara Jean smiles, nodding. “Sounds great. Just give me days in advance so I can make sure we have enough people at the bakery without a few of us there.”

Kitty nods, and when their dad prods for clues about the bachelorette weekend all three girls shake their heads.

“You can’t know, Dad,” Margot smiles. “It won’t be any worse than mine was.”

“I don’t know anything that happened at yours.”

“Exactly,” Margot smirks. “And you won’t know about Lara Jean’s either.”

The table laughs, Peter helps Emmi butter her roll, rolling his eyes when he’s asked about the bachelor party.

“All Owen and Gabe’s department,” He says, shaking his head. “I have no idea, and frankly, I’m fine with that.”

“So you trust us?”

“Definitely not saying that,” Peter says immediately on his younger brother. “I’m just saying that I’m leaving it in your hands. And I do have a child, so it better not be too wild. I would appreciate coming home to her in one piece.”

“You’re _both_ my children. That’s enough of a reason to keep it tame,” Their mom interjects, raising her eyebrows at the two of them.

“I’m going to have to agree with her on this one,” Dan smiles. “All three of my girls come back in one piece,” He says, to which all the Covey girls nod immediately.

Lara Jean has never been so thankful for the shift in conversation after, the wedding no longer being the question on everyone’s minds for at least a little while.

—

Peter doesn’t hesitate in helping clear plates to the kitchen, his mom following behind as Trina moves around the kitchen making coffee and pulling out plates for dessert.

“You’re sure you don’t mind taking Emmi tonight?”

“Not at all,” His mom says immediately, a genuinely smile on her face. “I’ve missed having sleepovers with her.”

“She’s really excited.”

His mom nods, they fall into a comfortable silence, and while Peter had told himself he wasn’t going to talk about it and he wanted to make this a Thanksgiving that didn’t revolve around drama, he can’t stop himself.

“Dad texted me.”

“Did he?”

Peter nods, carefully putting the leftover turkey into tupperware containers. “Said he and Nicole are coming to the wedding.”

“Did you answer him?”

Peter shakes his head. “Don’t want him to think I completely believe that he’ll actually show up,” He shrugs. “I’ll send him Happy Thanksgiving later. When I’m not just enjoying these moments.”

“Maybe it’s true this time,” She says thoughtfully. There’s the smallest trace of optimism in her voice, but Peter can’t get his hopes up. “And even if he doesn’t, it’s going to be a beautiful day.”

“No, I know,” Peter nods. “Just hope he leaves the drama behind for one day.”

His mom leans up on her tip toes to kiss his cheek, squeezing his shoulder. “Whatever happens, it’s going to be fine. Don’t worry about it.”

Peter nods, smiling when Trina asks him to carry out the beginning of desserts as he nods, leaving the conversation behind.

He focuses on soaking in the little moments of the laughter and stories being told around the Thanksgiving table, refusing to allow his dad to get in his head on a day he had been looking forward to for so long.

_______________________________

Peter rests his head in his hands, groaning when Lara Jean taps her pen against his forearm. “Babe, come on. We almost have it all figured out.”

“If I have to look at one more circle table and figure out who should sit where I am going to die,” Peter mumbles, checking his phone. “I’m half tempted to make it cafeteria style and let everyone pick their own table.”

“Peter,” Lara Jean sighs, but she’s laughing and Peter looks at her, flashing a smile. “Come on. We have to figure out two more tables. We can do it!” She cheers, but Peter isn’t convinced.

He leans his head in one hand anyway as he gives her suggestions on where to sit people, sighing when they get to his dad and Nicole. “Just put them with his family. I don’t know if they hate him, but they said they’re coming and frankly I don’t want to deal with him with anyone else.”

Lara Jean nods, biting her lip as she slots them in at his family’s table. “Are you regretting inviting him?”

“No,” He says after a moment, sighing. “I just don’t want you to get your hopes up that he’ll be there. I can’t get excited about it until I see him sitting there enjoying himself with everyone.”

Lara Jean nods, rattling off another friend as Peter suggests where to put them.

“You know, doing this now means we’re ahead of schedule.”

“True,” Peter sighs. “Which means wedding break.”

“Exactly,” Lara Jean nods, moving on to the next couple.

They work quickly for the last few people, leaning back and looking over the template with smiles. “Done?” She asks, sliding it in front of him.

“Done,” Peter agrees, tapping along every name at every table just to double check.

Lara Jean glances at her phone, answering a text from Jenna at the bakery before turning back to her fiancé. “We have 45 minutes before we need to leave to get Emmi from the birthday party,” She teases, fingers tracing up his arm.

“Meet you in the bedroom,” Peter says quickly, almost tumbling out of his chair to take off down the hall ahead of her.

She smiles, shaking her head and putting their wedding things away, making him wait just a little longer as a tease, laughing when he calls from the bedroom for her to get there faster.

She had no doubt in her mind she was marrying the man of her dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i planned out the rest of this story and i *think* there's about 6 chapters left. that could change, but for now it's 6 chapters! so almost at the wedding! there will be more family moments mixed in the last of the chapters, promise! :)
> 
> thank you guys for reading/commenting/leaving kudos! i'm so happy that you guys all loved the last chapter as much as i did :)
> 
> more will be up soooon! :)
> 
> the title of the chapter is from Living in the Moment by Jason Mraz


	13. a love story for every age

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Lara Jean book their honeymoon, Lara Jean and Emmi have a girls afternoon, and Chris and Lara Jean talk about the future.

Peter feels like he blinks and Christmas and New Years come and go.

He chalks it up to a big project at work, Emmi starting swimming classes, and wedding planning in full swing now that they were only a few months away. They still did all the Christmas traditions — decorating the house, buying presents for each other, spending it back home with both of their families — but it doesn’t feel the same as it had the years before, which Peter promises himself that won’t be the case the following year.

The only tradition they hadn’t got to was baking cookies, which Lara Jean promptly reschedules for the first weekend in January after Emmi’s swimming classes when they would have time. Emmi argued that they wouldn’t be Christmas cookies then, but in true Lara Jean fashion, she found her way around it.

“They’re late Christmas cookies!” She counters, laughing when she’s met with a hard stare from the 6 year old, arms crossed over her chest. “Or Winter cookies?”

“Fine,” Emmi sighs, letting her arms fall down to her sides. “I guess they can be Winter cookies.”

They go to Emmi’s swimming classes together on Saturdays (Lara Jean has been trying to take more weekends off to be with Peter and Emmi now that the bakery has more employees and is running smoothly), sitting on the bleachers by the pool as Emmi sits on the edge in her small group with an instructor.

She’s a natural, not that Lara Jean thought there would be any other outcome, but Peter is always pleasantly surprised at how willing she is to try new strokes or diving in the deep end off the side of the pool. “She’s always mentioned swim team,” Peter says one day when Emmi leads the group in diving in and swimming halfway. “But I kind of just thought it was a phase thing. Like she would forget about it or something.”

“How did she even hear about it? That’s not a sport kids just know.”

“Lila has an older brother who swims,” Peter smiles. He catches Lara Jean hand in his, playing with her engagement ring between his fingers. “I had a big business conference on a Saturday one weekend and Amy offered to take her for the day so I didn’t have to drive her to my moms. She mentioned they’d be at a swim meet, but I was so grateful that I didn’t even care what she did with her as long as she was safe.”

Lara Jean nods, watching as Emmi pulls herself out of the pool, walking to the back of the line. “You going to let her do swim team if she asks?”

Peter sighs. “It terrifies me,” He admits quietly. “She’s a good swimmer, but god, all I think about is her hitting her head on the wall or falling in when she’s not ready and then panicking and drowning when no one is looking or someone saving her just in time but her still being hurt or something.”

“She’s really careful. I mean, look at her.”

“No, I know,” Peter nods. His free hand runs through his hair. “I need to stop being so overprotective. Let her try different sports. God knows my mom was a warrior letting me play lacrosse and get my ass kicked while doing so.”

Lara Jean laughs beside him. “If you want my opinion, I think she’s ready for swim team. She’s good, Peter. And she seems to really enjoy it. I think this is one of those you have to hide your fears so she can enjoy it.”

“I think you’re right,” Peter nods, and so he agrees to it, promising that if Emmi expresses interest in joining the swim team, he’s going to let her.

_______________________________

Their kitchen has turned into a mini bakery, parchment paper and spoons and mixing bowls laid out on every open counter space.

Peter takes one look at the scene and grabs his keys, looking at both of his girls. “I have a tux fitting for the wedding with the guys,” He says, shoving his wallet into his back pocket. “I trust you two will be here for the foreseeable future?”

“We’re going to make a million cookies!” Emmi exclaims from her spot standing on the chair, throwing her arms up in celebration.

“Go, we’re going to have a good time,” Lara Jean smiles, accepting a kiss from Peter before he leans down to kiss the side of Emmi’s head.

When the front door shuts behind him Lara Jean turns her attention back to the mixing bowl in front of her, adding the last of the ingredients with the help of Emmi. “We’re going to make sugar cookies, fruitcake cookies, chocolate chip, and gingerbread, okay?”

Emmi nods, resting her hands on the counter as she looks down at the batter mixing. “Why are we making fruitcake cookies?”

Lara Jean smiles, dumping the batter out onto empty counter space to roll out. “Because they’re your dad’s favorite.”

“Will I like them?”

“No, probably not,” Lara Jean admits. “Daddy is the only person I know that really likes them.”

“Do you have them at the bakery?”

“We do,” Lara Jean nods, rolling out the sugar cookie dough as she points to the cookie cutters. “Pick out a few you want to use.”

Emmi leans over, picking out a few cookie cutters from the pile. Lara Jean helps her cut out the shapes, setting them onto a baking tray. They work together, Lara Jean turns on a playlist that is appropriate for Emmi to listen to, although Emmi’s laughter floats over the speaker and lights up Lara Jean in ways she could’ve never envisioned.

When the sugar cookies are decorated and set out on a cooling rack Lara Jean moves to start making the fruitcake cookies, laughing when Emmi scrunches up her nose.

“These look gross, Mama.”

Lara Jean laughs, nodding as she slowly mixes up the batter. “Can I tell you a secret? I don’t really like them, either.”

“Then why did you start making them?”

“Because my family really liked them. It was a family recipe from my dad’s family that he said was a tradition,” Lara Jean explains, smiling as she forms cookie shapes in her hands. “And because when me and your dad dated in high school, he said how much he liked them.”

“Daddy really does like these?” Emmi asks, scrunching up her nose. “Why would he like these?”

“I really don’t know,” Lara Jean laughs. “But he does, and so we’re going to make him some that he gets to eat all himself while we eat all the other cookies.”

Emmi nods, helping roll out balls of dough with Lara Jean, watching her instructions. “Did you used to make cookies with your sisters?”

“Sometimes,” Lara Jean nods, moving over to the sink to clean out the mixing bowl. “But they didn’t really help me make them. They mostly just ate the cookies I made.”

“I’m always going to help,” Emmi declares, a proud smile on her face. “Even when I’m a teenager. I’ll make cookies with you all the time.”

“And I’m going to remember you saying that when you’re a teenager and you try to get out of our cookie making days,” Lara Jean smiles, kissing Emmi’s head on her way back to the counter to work on the next batter.

Emmi’s quiet for a moment, humming along to the songs as Lara Jean mixes up the chocolate chip batter. Emmi licks the spoon while Lara Jean sets the cookies out on parchment paper to cook, checking her phone to see Peter had texted her.

“Lara Jean?” Emmi asks after a moment, climbing off the chair to take the beaters to the sink. “If you’re marrying Daddy and you’re my mommy now, does that mean that Kitty and Margot are my aunts since Uncle Owen is my uncle?”

Lara Jean thinks it over for a moment, scooping out the last of the dough onto a baking sheet. “I guess you’re right, Em,” She nods. “They would be your aunts.”

“Can I call them that?”

Lara Jean smiles, moving back to the sink to put water in the bowl before moving to start gingerbread batter. “I think you can. Want to FaceTime them and ask?”

Emmi immediately nods, and much to Lara Jean’s horror she jumps off the chair, running out to the living room to grab the iPad.

“Okay, can we not jump off furniture next time? You could’ve slipped and cracked your head open,” Lara Jean sighs, earning a sheepish apology from Emmi as she climbs back up onto the chair, letting Lara Jean start the three-way FaceTime call between the Covey sisters.

After they catch up and Emmi informs them that they’re making Christmas cookies late because they didn’t have time before, Lara Jean smiles at her sisters as she rolls out the gingerbread dough. “Emmi has a very important question she’d like to ask the both of you.”

Emmi plays with a cookie cutter in her hand, sighing. “So because Mama is marrying Daddy you guys would be my aunts, right?” She asks, watching both of them nod. “So can I call you guys aunt?”

Lara Jean smiles as her sisters share a glance through the screen, both immediately nodding.

“Of course you can call us aunt!” Margot smiles. “Did you want to call Ravi uncle, too?” She asks, watching as Emmi chews on her lip before nodding.

“Can I?”

“He’s going to love it,” Margot assures her, the four girls talking about their lives since they’ve been apart the last few weeks.

“You’re making cookies now?” Kitty asks. Lara Jean watches as she does her homework at the same time. “No fair, Ems! I was just there last week and you didn’t make cookies.”

“We were too busy!” Emmi groans, throwing her head back. “Mommy said we had to wait until today when I was done swimming.”

“Will you make some when I come visit again?”

“And me!” Margot pipes up, both girls smiling when Emmi nods immediately.

“We can all make them together!” Emmi declares, bouncing on her toes as she holds onto the counter. “Will you come visit soon?”

“I’ll see what I can do about coming home for a weekend. Maybe Uncle Owen and I will come help you make cookies and then eat them all.”

Emmi nods, smiling. “We can’t eat _all_ of them though. Daddy says that’s how I get tummyaches.”

“Your dad is right,” Margot smiles. “Uncle Ravi and I will come visit soon too, Emmi. And we’ll spend lots of time together and make cookies but _not_ eat all of them.”

“Oh stop being the responsible aunt, Go-Go,” Kitty teases, pushing her glasses further up on her face as she smiles.

Emmi doesn’t seem to notice their teasing, instead getting excited at the prospect of having both of her aunts come visit and spend time with her when they don’t get to do it enough.

Lara Jean puts the last tray of cookies into the oven, cleaning the bowls they used while Emmi tells Kitty and Margot about school. Lara Jean lets them chat for a while, smiling at the conversation and the thought of her sisters just welcoming Emmi into the family with open arms, and when it comes time to saying goodbye she finds it hard to hit end, promising a million times that they’ll all FaceTime again soon.

Just as they hang up Peter walks through the door holding pizza, Emmi’s face lighting up.

“It smells amazing in here,” He smiles, setting the pizza on the table as he walks into the kitchen, watching his fiancé put the last batch of cookies in the oven.

“We made your favorite cookies!” Emmi smiles, pointing towards the fruitcake cookies now boxed away in a tupperware container.

“I’m going to have one right after dinner,” He smiles, lifting her off the chair. “Go wash your hands in the bathroom please so we can eat.”

Emmi disappears down the hall as Peter walks over to Lara Jean, leaning down and kissing her lips softly. “Your lips taste like chocolate chip cookies,” He smiles, kissing her again.

“Yours taste like beer,” She laughs, hand resting against his chest.

“Texted you. Went and got a beer with the guys after our tux fittings. Figured I’d give you two some time alone. She was good, right?”

“Perfect,” Lara Jean whispers, stealing one more kiss before Emmi comes back around the corner.

“Daddy, we FaceTimed with Kitty and Margot and they said that I can call them aunt since you’re marrying Mama!”

Peter shares a glance with Lara Jean while he bites back a smile, bending over and picking Emmi up in his arms. “I think that sounds perfect,” He says, smoothing her hair back into her bun. “And now you have Uncle Owen, Aunt Katherine, Aunt Margot, and Uncle Ravi.”

“Katherine?” Emmi asks, grimacing. “It’s Kitty, Daddy.”

“Aunt Kitty it is.”

He carries Emmi out to the table as they eat dinner as a family, listening to their afternoon together while Peter talks about seeing the guys. And while it’s about the most mundane, normal thing that Peter can think of the three of them doing just eating dinner, he can’t hide his smile thinking about how this is his life now, this is the one thing he had always hoped for but never dared to think he would get.

_______________________________

“Let’s go to Jamaica," Peter smiles, falling into bed. “For our honeymoon, let’s go to Jamaica.”

“What?” Lara Jean asks, half asleep as she rolls onto her side to look at him. “That was random.”

“I was just thinking about it today. Talking about it at work,” He yawns, running his fingers through his hair. “They said it’s a really good honeymoon destination. Greg went there with his wife for their honeymoon and loved it.”

He turns over, reaching for his laptop on his nightstand and clicks around. Lara Jean’s half asleep, pulling herself against Peter’s shoulder as she watches him pull up a website.

“Looks pretty,” She smiles, fingers tapping against his bare chest while he looks at the rooms. “And adults only.”

“There’s swim up suites,” Peter mumbles, clicking through the photos. “Could you imagine waking up in the morning, going in the pool and looking at that beach?”

Lara Jean hums in content, pushing herself to lean up on her elbows. “Want to book it?”

And sure, it’s nearing midnight and Lara Jean has to be at the bakery early in the morning to finish the final touches to a wedding cake and Peter’s been up working on a business proposal for his boss, but it just feels right.

He looks at her with bright eyes, nodding as he pushes himself out of bed to find his credit card. “Don’t you think we’d like it there? Not worrying about kids, just having a week to be together and celebrate being married?”

“I do,” She nods, falling back against her pillows. “I think this is exactly where I want to spend my first week with my new husband. I’m more just surprised you thought at almost midnight was a good time to bring it up.”

“This afternoon was a whirlwind. You were home late, Emmi had homework, and once she was in bed I could really only think about collapsing on the couch and watching TV without talking about the wedding things.”

“Oh, you’re right. When I’m half asleep is a much better time to ask me if I want to go to Jamaica for our honeymoon.”

“You’ve always said I have great timing.”

“The best timing. You know exactly how to win me over at the right moment,” She smiles, yawning.

Peter smiles at that, filling out the reservations and hitting book before they could second guess themselves. “We’re going to Jamaica for our honeymoon,” He mumbles when he sets his laptop back on the nightstand and flicks the light off, rolling onto his side to look at Lara Jean.

He reaches out, running his fingers through her hair. “I love you.”

“Love you more,” She mumbles, halfway between awake and asleep when he presses a light kiss to her forehead, hand tangled in her hair as she drifts off to sleep.

Peter lays awake for a little while longer, the excitement of their honeymoon being booked and the prospect of spending a week away with his new wife outweighing the need to sleep.

He was actually marrying the girl he always wanted to be with. The one he never thought he had a chance with again.

He couldn’t wait.

_______________________________

“So, is it weird to know that Emmi calls you Mom now?”

Chris hides her smirk behind a carrot, feet up on a spare stool as she watches Lara Jean fill eclairs before she took her break for lunch.

“Not really,” Lara Jean decides after a moment, tongue poking out of the corner of her mouth as she fills the last eclair. “It’s kind of nice. Makes me feel like she wants me to be her mother figure in her life.”

Chris nods, handing Lara Jean a carrot after she’s dried her hands. “It’ll make it easier when you and Peter have kids, too,” She teases. “Speaking of, have you two talked about that? Having kids of your own I mean.”

Lara Jean sighs, walking over to the fridge to grab her lunch, sitting down with Chris. “A little bit,” She admits. “Nothing serious or concrete. Just that we both want to have kids together, and we want to make sure the time is right. Peter doesn’t want Emmi to be too old.”

“What do you want?”

Lara Jean takes a bite of her sandwich, waiting until she swallows before shrugging. “I don’t want to wait forever.”

"So like, right after the wedding?" Chris asks, and there's a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. Like she’s almost too excited to see her best friend pregnant and have kids with her high school sweetheart.”

Lara Jean rolls her eyes, smiling and reaching for her water bottle. “Maybe not _right_ after, no. I want to enjoy being his wife for a little bit before I get pregnant,” She argues, taking a sip. “But I watch the way he is with Emmi and I can’t help but think what it would be like to watch him be a parent from the very beginning. The late nights and sleep deprivation together.”

Chris nods, leaning her head in her hand, elbow resting on the table. “I always knew Peter was a good dad,” She smiles. “It’s infuriating, really. That he’s good at everything.”

“I know,” Lara Jean agrees, wiping the corners of her mouth with her napkin. “Like sometimes I’ll go down to our room to get changed after work and he’s getting Emmi in the bath or putting her to bed, and they’re always giggling while they read stories or make up games in the bathroom. And he _always_ knows what to do when she’s upset or hurt or sick and I just… I want to experience all of that with him from the beginning.”

She pauses, chewing on a carrot. “I missed all of that with Emmi. And I love having her in my life and being her stepmom and sharing all these moments that I didn’t get to have with my mom, but at the same time, what will life be like when I raise a child with Peter from the very beginning? I’ve always thought about it, you know that, but I want it now more than I ever have before.”

“And you will get that,” Chris smiles, reaching over to squeeze her hand. “You’re going to have kids with Peter and experience it all from the very beginning like you want. You know that. And you two are going to make the cutest little babies and Emmi is going to be the best big sister, and I’m going to be the aunt that spoils them all because they deserve it.”

Lara Jean laughs, nodding. “You’re ridiculous, but I know there’s no stopping you.”

“You’re right, there isn’t,” She smiles, standing up from the table and taking their trash. “And I can’t wait.”

Chris disappears back into her office, Lara Jean finishes the rest of her lunch and tosses her things in the trash, moving back to her station to continue working on orders and general things for the bakery.

And while she tried not to think too much about the future, tried to live in the moment and be thankful that she gets to marry Peter and help raise Emmi, Chris has planted the baby seed in her mind.

She spends the rest of work thinking about how amazing it would be to have kids of their own. Raising them together, letting Peter show her how he got through those long nights in the newborn stage, how he survived the toddler stage and made Emmi into the amazing little girl she is today.

And while they may not have a time frame on it, they may not have decided when exactly they want all of this to happen, Lara Jean thinks she’d much rather have it happen sooner than later.

She’s ready for this stage, ready to discover a new stage of life with the guy she once used to daydream she’d get to experience all of this with.

_______________________________

The second Chris admitted that her new boyfriend Nico was more than just a fling and things were definitely getting serious, Lara Jean declares she needs to meet him.

“I didn’t ask to meet every guy you went out with!” Chris argues while she filed through paperwork in her office, exasperated. “Besides, isn’t that weird? Having us over?”

“No?” Lara Jean questions, falling into the chair across from Chris’ desk. “Why would it be? You know Peter and Emmi, it’s not like you’re meeting them for the first time or something. And besides, it’s just dinner.”

Lara Jean watches Chris chew on the corner of her lip, pushing away a strand of hair that falls in her face when she writes something down in her notepad. The silence is a dead giveaway she’s trying to find a reason to say no, find a reason to put off answering the question, but Lara Jean is persistent.

“Fine, we’ll be there,” Chris concedes, smiling. “Nico and I will come to your place for dinner.”

Lara Jean is practically beaming, standing up from the chair triumphantly as she nods. “Good. You can come over after work.”

She turns on her heels, walking back into the bakery to continue working, but sends Peter a million thumbs up emojis that convey she had managed to get Chris to say yes.

—

Nico is great.

Like so great that if Lara Jean wasn’t engaged to the man she always wanted to be with she’d probably have a crush on him.

He’s not at all what she thought Chris would go for — tall, handsome, clean-cut and put together and he doesn’t love partying — but somehow they just fit together. And from one look at the two of them Lara Jean can tell that Chris is smitten with him.

As in she’s basically falling in love with him on their sofa surrounded by Barbie dolls and a mountain of toys piled in the corner.

“So, Chris told me you guys were getting married,” Nico smiles when Peter hands him a beer, sitting down next to Lara Jean on the sofa.

“We are,” Peter nods, arm lazily draped over Lara Jean’s shoulder. “In June. I take it you’re going to be Chris’ plus one?”

“You’re giving me a plus one?” Chris asks, a look of amusement on her face. “You’re so considerate.”

“What can I say,” Peter smirks, “I’m a giver.”

Lara Jean smacks his thigh, rolling her eyes. “Of course you’re getting a plus one, Chris,” She smiles.

“Then yes, Nico will be my plus one.”

The fact that Chris didn’t say they’d see where they were at that point in the relationship was a huge indicator for Peter and Lara Jean, who share a knowing glance with each other before talking more about Nico’s life.

He’s originally from New York, came to UVA for school and ended up getting a job in the area. He and Chris were set up by mutual friends of theirs, and while it took a while for them to make things official, he was happy to see that it was all working out in the long run.

To make Nico seem even better Lara Jean listened to him talk to Emmi about her interests and sports she was doing from the kitchen, Emmi animatedly talking about it all while Peter sets dinner out on the table.

“He’s really good for Chris,” Peter mumbles against Lara Jean’s ear, the two of them watching from the living room. “And she seems so happy.”

“I think she is,” Lara Jean decides. She doesn’t say she can’t ever remember Chris being like this in the 20 years she’s known her, but she thinks Peter knows that.

Because they all used to be friends. Back in the day they’d spend more time in the treehouse than in their own homes, and while those days were far behind them and that group that always used to be together had long since split apart, there were moments Lara Jean remembers from it all.

Chris being this happy was never one of those things.

They eat dinner and talk about life and their wedding planning and the trip Chris and Nico had been planning to take together on a long weekend, and Lara Jean watches the way Chris stares at Nico while he’s talking about the trip, heart eyes practically filling her face.

It’s the same way she used to look at Peter. The same way she _still_ looks at Peter.

Wedding planning and the bakery booming had taken over her life, but sitting here in the kitchen with her childhood best friend and her boyfriend made Lara Jean makes a vow to herself that there will be more time for this.

Time together as a family for she, Peter and Emmi. Time to hang out with Chris and Nico and all their other friends outside of work. Time to just cherish the everyday moments that have seemed to slip out of her grasp in the chaos her life had been the last year and few months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys so much for reading/commenting/leaving kudos :) i'm so glad you guys are liking this! we're getting closer to the wedding :)
> 
> also a few people have asked and i realized i basically made it sound like this was all over after this fic which isn't the case! i'm currently going back and forth between doing one-shots of moments or a full fic (if i did one-shots i would absolutely take requests haha), but there will be more in this little universe because i'm not ready to leave it yet!
> 
> more will be up soooon :) 
> 
> title of the chapter is from In My Arms by Johnnyswim


	14. I will love you endlessly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they inch closer towards the wedding, Emmi asks Peter an important question, and they celebrate with a bridal shower

The long winter finally breaks and brings bright flowers, warm sunshine and longer days, enough to make everything feel happier and lighter. Peter and Lara Jean make an effort to take Emmi to the park after work on the weekends and some days after school, reveling in the Spring weather and the moments as they inched closer to Summer and their wedding.

“We’re two months away,” Lara Jean smiles one morning when their alarms go off, looking at the date on her phone screen. “In two months we’ll be waking up in separate beds because it’s going to be our wedding day.”

Peter stretches, pushing his hands up until they hit the headboard as he yawns, and then turns lazily to look at Lara Jean, smiling. “Think we can fast forward that to right now?”

“And get married in bed?”

Peter smirks, rolling onto his side and kissing her. “Now you’re really talking. Put Em in the middle of us as our flower girl and just have them marry us in this bed.”

Lara Jean laughs, hands cupping his cheeks as she kisses him softly once, and then again. “Two more months,” She mumbles quietly against his lips, then rolls over and gets out of bed, walking into their bathroom to start getting ready for the day.

—

It seems a little bit ridiculous, hanging the countdown to the wedding up on the fridge surrounding Emmi’s art projects from school.

Margot sent it as a joke, mostly, saying that Lara Jean was pretty scatterbrained and now that it was getting closer to the wedding it might be good to have a countdown.

So of course Lara Jean hung it up, proudly FaceTimed Margot to show her, and then laughed with her when she realized it was a joke to lighten the mood and make her less stressed about the finer details that were coming up now that they were closer to the big day.

“60 days is two months?” Emmi asks, standing in front of the fridge with a juice box in hand, staring at the countdown that Lara Jean hadn’t bothered to take down, instead actually following through with changing the days every morning before work.

“It is,” Lara Jean nods, glancing back from her spot at the counter when she gets working on dumplings for dinner. “Which means in two months you’ll be out of school and we’ll be back home at Grandpa Dan’s and Grandma Trina’s getting married!”

Emmi smiles, poking her straw through the juice box. “And I can wear my pretty dress and stay up late and be in the wedding?”

“You can do all of that at our wedding, I promise you,” Lara Jean smiles, pulling a chair over to the counter beside her. “And right now, you can help me make dumplings so that they’re ready when Daddy gets home from work.”

Emmi laughs, pulling herself up onto the chair and setting her juice box down, following Lara Jean’s lead when it came to helping with getting dinner ready.

Peter quietly slips into the apartment after a long day at work, smiling at the scene in front of him. Both his girls with their backs to him, laughing as they make dinner together.

It’s two months before the wedding, but looking at the scene in front of him is enough to know that even if the wedding didn’t happen, even if they said they just wanted to do it now or put it off for a while, he’d have this in his life.

That was what really mattered to him.

_______________________________

At the insistence of Kitty and Chris, Lara Jean agrees to go shopping for a new dress for her bridal shower.

She hates the thought of spending the money for something that she has in her own closet, but the girls remind her that it’s a special occasion and promise her that they won’t find something too expensive or something she’d only be able to wear once.

Peter thinks about making it a special day with Emmi, but when she says that she just wants to stay home and do crafts with him he silently celebrates, agreeing and pulling out the art bin to set on the table for her while he works on cleaning up the apartment.

“Daddy?” Emmi asks when Peter walks back into the kitchen, eyes watching him. “Can I give Lara Jean stuff for Mother’s Day?”

“Like the things you make at school?” He asks, watching Emmi nod.

The Mother’s Day gifts she would make at school in years prior were always a touchy subject. Her teachers, understanding of the situation, were amazing. They let her make things for Peter instead, and although they were always the same project the kids were giving to their moms, Peter loved them all the same, hanging them up in his office at work or on the fridge on display for anyone who would come over.

This year she had Lara Jean, and Peter couldn’t help but feel even better knowing that she was wanting to make things for Lara Jean instead of him for the first time ever.

“I think she’d really like it if you made her things for Mother’s Day. And I can take you to get a card.”

“Can she adopt me?”

Peter’s hand freezes on the countertop, fingers growing wet from the paper towel clutched in his hand. He chews on the corner of his lip, and when minutes begin to feel like hours, he finally forces himself to look at his daughter.

“Emmi, do you know what adopt means?”

Emmi nods, reaching into the center of the table to grab an apple from the fruit bowl, holding it out for him to wash off for her. “It means she would really be my mom. And my real mommy wouldn’t be my real mommy anymore.”

“Em, where did you learn that?” Peter walks over and takes the apple, letting it run under the cool water for far too long after he washes his own hands.

“At school.”

“Is it those kids that were teasing you that asked you about this? Are they being mean again?” He asks, handing her the apple back and sliding into the chair beside her. “Because if they’re still being mean we need to talk to the teacher. This can’t keep going on, baby.”

“They’re not being mean anymore,” Emmi sighs. She sets her crayon down, takes another bite of her apple, and then stares at her father. “I told them that I call Lara Jean Mommy and so she is my mom and they said that she didn’t adopt me so she can’t be my real mommy, it’s just in my brain.”

“How did you learn what adopt means?”

Emmi takes another bite of her apple, legs swinging off the side of the chair as she shrugs. “I asked my teacher.”

Peter nods, a mixture of feelings running through his brain that he isn’t quite sure how to process. “You know you could’ve asked me, right? I would’ve told you what being adopted means.”

Emmi hesitates, and then nods. “But I didn’t want you to be mad.”

“Why would I be mad that you want Lara Jean to adopt you? Or that you want to know what adoption is. Emmi, that’s not a bad thing to learn about, you know.”

“I don’t know,” Emmi whines, tossing her head back. “But can I ask Lara Jean to adopt me?”

Peter taps his fingers against the table for a moment, searching for an answer.

It’s not that he hadn’t thought about Lara Jean adopting Emmi. Because he had, but he always figured it’d be one day in the future. Maybe when they were married a few years and had kids of their own. Maybe way down the line, when Emmi was a teenager and things were settled and life was different.

He didn’t think he’d be thinking about this now because his 6 year old daughter had learned it at school and wanted to know the answer.

“I don’t think that’s a question I can answer. I think it’s a really big question that we need to ask Lara Jean because she’s the one that would become your mommy,” Peter begins, leaning forward to take one of Emmi’s hands into his own. “But baby, if she isn’t ready to adopt you, then we just wait, okay? It doesn’t make her love you any less.”

“Okay,” Emmi nods.

“You know she still loves you more than anything though, right?” Peter asks, reassuring himself more than her. “Even if she’s not ready to adopt you quite yet, she still loves you so much.”

Emmi rolls her eyes, a toothless smile staring back at him. “I know,” She shrugs. “I know I’m still her favorite.” She finishes off the last of her apple, hands Peter the core, and turns back in her chair to go back to coloring as if she hadn’t just asked the heaviest question Peter can ever remember hearing from her.

He cleans the rest of the kitchen admiring how unaffected kids were by everything, the question constantly floating through his mind.

—

“I have something to ask you, but you absolutely cannot get mad.”

Peter stands on his side of the bed, tossing the decorative pillows onto the chair beside him, pulling back the comforter for both of them.

“You know, starting a sentence like that doesn’t put me all that at ease about whatever question is about to come out of your mouth,” She smirks.

Peter looks at her, then looks horrified when he realizes how he phrased it, quickly shaking his head. “No, no, no. It’s nothing bad. At least I don’t think it is. I just… I don’t know that it’s the right timing to ask. Like maybe I’m asking you too soon or something. That’s why I said you can’t get mad.”

Lara Jean raises her eyebrows, a hint of amusement on her face. “I’m intrigued,” She smiles. “But go ahead.”

“Would you ever consider adopting Emmi? In the future, I mean. Like would you ever want her to officially be your daughter?”

“I’d adopt her in a heartbeat,” Lara Jean answers immediately, the amusement gone from her face, replaced with the smallest of smiles. “Peter, I know we haven’t been back together _that_ long in the grand scheme of things. I know that I haven’t known her for years and I haven’t completely built up that trust with her, but I like to think that we’re close and she would come to me with anything the same way she’d go to you. But I love Emmi, and if she would ever one day want for me to be her mother, I would adopt her in a heartbeat.”

Peter smiles, nodding as he pulls off his t-shirt and falling into his side of the bed. “I love you. Thank you for being the best mom to her when you really didn’t have to do any of this.”

Lara Jean smiles, pulling on one of Peter’s t-shirts over her head. “Did you ever think that maybe I just love Emmi more than I love you?” She teases, crawling onto her side and rolling so she’s facing Peter.

“It’s crossed my mind once or twice,” Peter admits, laughing, hand reaching out to rest against her hip. “It would be justified, honestly. I did make a pretty cute kid.”

“That you did,” Lara Jean smiles, eyes crinkling as she leans forward and kisses him. “But I’m kidding about loving her more than I love you. You know I love you and Emmi the same amount.”

“Very diplomatic of you,” Peter smirks, kissing her again. “But I do know that.”

He thinks about telling her that Emmi asked about being adopted. He lets it cross his mind telling Emmi’s surprise and how she learned about it in school and she wants the same from Lara Jean, but he figures he’ll let it stay secret.

He’s much more excited to see the look on her face when Emmi does ask.

_______________________________

For being mostly organized by Kitty with the help of Trina, Lara Jean has to admit she has her worries about her bridal shower.

It’s not that Kitty and Trina aren’t reliable or good party planners — because they are — but she knows that Margot would have this whole vision of what she wanted the party to look like, and Kitty and Trina are much more spontaneous, spur of the moment planners, finding what looked good together and making it come together last minute.

But with Margot in North Carolina and limited to helping via Skype and texts, Lara Jean knows that it’s largely left in the hands of her little sister and stepmom.

So she spends the morning telling herself that what really matters is that her friends and family are going to be there to celebrate the upcoming wedding, she’s getting time with people she can’t always see all that often, and her sisters love her enough to throw her a bridal shower when it’s not at all necessary.

“Kitty said she’d text me when I should head over to the party, so don’t worry about doing that. Just have fun today,” Peter smiles, reaching across the console to grab Lara Jean’s hand as they make their way back home.

“What are you going to do while we’re at the party?” She asks, glancing into the back seat to find Emmi looking out the window, legs swinging back against her seat.

“Owen and I are going to order food and watch soccer. Get some quality brother time in since his last day of spring break is tomorrow.”

“Kitty’s spring break is this weekend,” Lara Jean frowns. For a moment she feels bad about having this party on the only day their breaks overlap, but then she remembers it was out of her hands when it came to planning it.

“I think they’re going out tonight. After we go home,” Peter says brightly, and Lara Jean slightly feels better about it all.

The car is silent for a while except for the radio, Lara Jean’s hand still in Peter’s as she watches the mile markers pass by outside her window. “Do you think it’s weird that they’re throwing me a shower?” She finally asks, lifting her head and looking back to her fiancé.

“Why would it be weird?” Peter asks, scrunching up his nose and glancing at her. “I know you don’t really like attention, but the girls wanted you to have one.”

“No, I know,” Lara Jean nods. She pulls her hand from his, loosely redoing her braid. “I just… we already live together. And we have the essentials. I don’t want them spending money on things we have.”

“Which is why we made a new gift registry,” He says, smiling. “Babe, no offense, but our stuff isn’t great. Anything we kept from my place besides the kids plates is from my freshman year of college or my first apartment junior year. And anything we kept from yours was mostly baking needs. We could do with some upgrades.”

Lara Jean hesitates, thinking about reminding him that they can afford all of that now, now that they’re at least a little better off. But she stops, shakes her head, and smiles. “No, you’re right. I’m just being ridiculous.”

Peter laughs, shaking his head. “You’re not being ridiculous,” He insists. “But just enjoy yourself today. Don’t worry about anything else. They’re throwing this party and celebrating you — or us — because they want to. Not because you asked for it.”

She nods, taking his hand once more and squeezing, more for her own reassurance.

She was going to have a good time today, and no amount of worrying could stop that.

—

Lara Jean’s childhood home looks the most gorgeous she can ever remember it looking.

She hadn’t even made it look this beautiful when they threw Margot’s bridal shower a few years prior. And she had been really proud of that day, she and Trina spending her first day of fall break doing crafts to hang up around the living room for all of the party guests.

Kitty, Margot and Trina had all gone overboard. There were a million different Pinterest crafts that Lara Jean remembers pinning hung up around the living room and out on the back patio. Flowers had been placed strategically in all the right places, the furniture had been rearranged so everyone could sit and enjoy the day together, and Lara Jean is so overwhelmed that they took the time to do this for her that she almost cries, even with Emmi standing at her side, hand grasped in hers.

“Do you like it?” Kitty asks, but she’s beaming with pride about their decorating and Margot walks in from outside, her smile also getting wider when she notices her younger sister taking it all in.

“I love it,” Lara Jean smiles, stepping down into the living room and hugging both of her sisters and then Trina, following them out to the back patio where Mrs. Kavinsky was finishing with the last of the decorations, walking over to hug her as well. “You guys really took the time to do all of this?”

“Your dad helped us out with moving the furniture and hanging some of the decorations outside before he was off to the hospital this morning,” Trina explains. “But it was mostly Margot and Kitty that did the directions. Both here and in North Carolina.”

“We looked at your Pinterest board and took inspiration from that. Tried to mesh it all together and this is what we came up with,” Margot smiles. “I don’t think this is too bad for doing all the decorations mostly long distance.”

“It’s definitely not,” Lara Jean insists, looking between both of her sisters. “I can’t believe you actually coordinated to work on this long distance just so we could celebrate my wedding.

Lara Jean’s cheeks hurt from smiling so much, but she hugs them all again and thanks them and before long there’s guests that are starting to arrive and she leads Emmi around the room, reintroducing them to each one of her family members.

“So, a little less than two months away from the wedding!” Lara Jean’s Aunt Diane smiles, “You two getting more excited?”

“Extremely,” Lara Jean replies immediately, holding her hands out for Emmi to hold as she sways in front of them. “I feel like we still have a lot to do to get it all put together, but it feels more real than ever before and I really can’t believe it’s come up so quickly.”

Diane smiles, taking a sip of her drink. “It’ll all work out. The backyard is a beautiful place to get married, and it’s always beautiful weather in June,” She says. “Although I think this little one is going to steal the show.”

Lara Jean laughs, squeezing Emmi’s hands to get her attention. “Are you excited about the wedding being so soon?”

Emmi looks up at her, smiling as she nods. “Yeah, because then Mama and Daddy will be married and I get to be in the wedding and it’ll be so much fun.”

Mrs. Kavinsky walks over asking Emmi for help with setting up a game, leaving Lara Jean to move to sit down in a chair on the patio across from both of her aunts where it’s more comfortable to continue their conversation. “Lara Jean, is Emmi calling you Mom?” Diane asks, filling Lara Jean’s Aunt Eva in on Emmi calling her mom just a few minutes prior.

Lara Jean nods, sitting up a little straighter as if she’s going to have to defend herself or the choices that they made when it came to parenting Emmi. “She has been for a few months now. It just felt like the right timing, and I _am_ going to be her mom.”

“Did you adopt her?”

“I didn’t,” Lara Jean admits. “At least not yet. But I have no plans of leaving Peter, and she doesn’t have her mom in her life, so I am that for her. Rather than waiting until after we’re married, it just felt like it wasn’t a bad idea for her to do it now. And besides, it was her idea. We didn’t push her to do it.”

Her aunts are quiet for a moment, a moment which makes Lara Jean feel more uncomfortable than she has this entire party, but then they smile. “If this is what you feel is right,” Diane says, which Lara Jean immediately nods because of course she thinks it’s right, and then she’s relieved when Margot calls everyone into the living room for bridal shower games so this conversation can’t get any awkward.

Lara Jean has never really been one to like the attention on her. She always liked being able to slip into the background, letting other people have the spotlight and answer the questions and bask in the fact that they were popular.

But it was her bridal shower, and no matter how many times she insisted she would much rather just have a party and open the gifts and _not_ play games, both Margot and Trina insisted that that couldn’t happen on their watch.

“Games at the bridal shower are an essential part of the party!” Margot argued over Skype one evening, and Lara Jean was too tired from work to argue back. “We won’t play anything too extravagant. Just some fun, lighthearted games to have fun with everyone. And then we can open presents. I promise we won’t make this torturous.”

She thought about arguing that it’s her bridal shower and not theirs, but they were already going out of their way to throw this party for her, and so she finds herself sucking up to her sister and stepmother’s crazy insistences and agrees that they can play two games as long as they aren’t mean or going to embarrass her or Peter.

The first one is simple enough, a quiz about the couple and when they first met. Most of the family and friends that are there from both sides of their families get the questions wrong, but Chris proudly stands up and declares that she is right, and Lara Jean can feel her cheeks heat up, permanently staying red.

“Technically they first got together New Years junior year, but they were fake dating the whole fall,” She explains, which Lara Jean mumbles an embarrassed “Chris” under her breath and Emmi climbs up into Lara Jean’s lap, asking her what fake dating meant.

“I’ll explain when you’re older, kiddo,” Lara Jean explains quietly, smoothing the wisps of hair that came out of her braid back down onto her head.

The rest of the game goes by with little embarrassment, Lara Jean laughs at some people’s answers and explains some stories that she feels are appropriate for her and Peter’s extended families, and when they move onto a game to see which of the couple is more likely to do something, Emmi has fun joining in on the game.

“Daddy would forget to cook dinner,” Emmi decides, slowly writing out ‘Dad’ on her sheet Kitty let her work on.

Lara Jean laughs, shaking her head. “Are you sure about that? I don’t think your dad has ever forgotten to feed you.”

Emmi cocks her head, thinking about it for a moment before flipping the pencil around and erasing her answer. “You would forget then!” She laughs, falling back against Lara Jean’s chest. “But you’d let me have a treat.”

“When I felt bad? You’re right, I would,” She laughs, pressing a light kiss to the top of her head.

When the games have finished and Lara Jean feels slightly more at ease that she’d have a break from all the attention on her Margot says they should just open gifts, and so Lara Jean sucks it up, taking a sip of her wine and resituating Emmi on her lap so they can open gifts together.

“Daddy!” Emmi exclaims when Peter opens the front door of the Covey home, Owen trailing behind him as they say hello to their family and friends.

Peter walks over to where Lara Jean is sitting, Emmi sat on his hip as he leans down to kiss her. “Are you having a good time?” He asks, sliding into a chair Margot brought over for him for them to open the last of the gifts. “It seems pretty fun.”

“It has been fun, yeah,” She nods, kissing him again as she picks up another gift, the two of them going over each one and thanking the person who gave it to them.

As the party winds down and everyone begins to say their goodbyes, Lara Jean finds herself realizing just how close it is to all of them seeing each other again. “Let us know if you need any help at all with the planning,” Her aunt smiles, hugging both of them and sending her well wishes to Emmi on her way out.

Lara Jean helps Trina and Mrs. Kavinsky clean up the kitchen while Kitty, Owen and Peter load the gifts into the car, thanking them profusely for the whole afternoon while doing so.

“I only have sons, Lara Jean, and we’re a ways off from Emmi getting married. So getting to celebrate you joining our family and how lovely you are to both my son and my granddaughter was a no brainer,” Mrs. Kavinsky smiles.

“Well, Emmi clearly had a good time,” Lara Jean smiles, turning back to see Emmi laying on the sofa watching a movie on Peter’s iPad, clearly fighting sleep.

They make the kitchen look better than it had looked in months, Dr. Covey comes home from work with dinner and invites everyone to stay, and while Lara Jean is savoring her family and Peter’s family being in the same place at the same time, her mind drifts to the thoughts that this could be the last moment they’re all together before the rehearsal dinner in just a few months.

She takes in every conversation, every laugh and joke thrown between their two immediate families, wanting to remember the way their families just got along from the very beginning. And while they had all known each other for years, a million things were different now and Lara Jean knows that she wouldn’t change any of them, because changing them might mean not being two months away from marrying her best friend.

They say their goodbyes to everyone on the front porch, promising that they’ll be in touch soon with plans for the rehearsal dinner, and then begin their journey home, Emmi asleep in her seat before they even reach the highway.

Lara Jean turns up the music a little bit, humming along to the radio and stealing glances at her fiancé when she knows he’s not looking at her, and for the first time in a long time she thinks about how she’s going to grow old with this man, spend the rest of her days with the boy she once fake dated in high school.

The thought alone makes her heart flutter, a grin tugging at her lips when she thinks about the millions of adventures they’re going to go on as husband and wife.

And for the first time she isn’t scared. She’s just excited to see where this life will take them.

_______________________________

“Emmi spent all of bedtime telling me about the shower,” Peter mumbles, crawling into bed next to an already half asleep Lara Jean. “I think she had a really good time.”

“Everyone loved her,” Lara Jean smiles, parting her eyes just enough that she’s able to see him. “And Margot and Kitty made sure she could participate in the games to an extent. I think she liked feeling included.”

Peter nods, reaching out and pulling Lara Jean in closer to him to kiss her softly, hands cupping her face. “I can’t believe I get to marry you.”

“I think that every single day,” Lara Jean admits, kissing him again for good measure. “Who would’ve thought way back when we were fake dating junior year that we’d end up getting married all these years later?”

Peter laughs, shaking his head as he rest his chin on top of her head. “I’m so glad that fake dating led to this,” He admit quietly, throat vibrating against Lara Jean’s head. “Because I can’t imagine my life without you.”

“Ditto,” She echoes quietly, voice thick as she tries to hold it together and not cry about getting married to Peter for the millionth time. “I love you.”

“Love you too,” Peter says quietly, pulling back to press his lips against her forehead.

She falls asleep that night pressed against his chest, his arms around her, and for all those nights where she thought maybe she wouldn’t ever find someone that made her feel the way Peter did in high school, she has never been more grateful to live right here in this moment forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys for reading/commenting/leaving kudos! :) not long until the wedding now!
> 
> more of emmi being adopted is coming (as in there's a plan for when they ask lara jean), but so many of you have been asking if lara jean would adopt her and i am the WORST at not spoiling things haha so i'm very glad that we got to it :)
> 
> more will be up soooon :)
> 
> title of the chapter is from Endlessly by The Cab :)


	15. I'd cross the whole world for someone like you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter celebrates his bachelor weekend, and Lara Jean celebrates her first Mother's Day :)

When Peter thought about bachelor parties, he thought of them the way they are in the movies.

Weekends of partying with your best friends, getting drunk and making slightly irresponsible decisions and spending the final days before he was married having a good time.

Now that he was a dad, the thought of even leaving Emmi for a weekend was enough to make him want to forgo a bachelor party at all, a prospect that Gabe and Owen were not going to allow to happen.

So on Owen’s first weekend home after finishing his last year of college before law school they’re set to road trip to the Smoky Mountains in North Carolina for the weekend, spending his final month of not being married adventuring in the woods like he used to love to do when he was younger. And Peter has this weird lump in his throat, anxiety bubbling about being so far away from his daughter for the first time and what if something goes wrong or she needs him and he can’t get to her in enough time?

“You know Em and I are going to be fine, right?” Lara Jean asks, walking into their bedroom where he’s been packing for almost 45 minutes. She breaks him out of his trance, smiling as she sits on the edge of the bed. “You don’t need to worry about her. You need to enjoy your weekend with your friends.”

“I’ve just never been so far away from her before,” Peter admits sheepishly, tossing another pair of pants into his suitcase.

Lara Jean resists the itching in her hands to pull the clothes out and refold them. “I know you haven’t. But she’s 6, she’s not a baby anymore,” She says softly, tapping her fingers against her thigh. “She and I are going to have a girls weekend, you’re going to have a good time, and before you know it it’ll be Sunday night and you’ll be back here with us where you belong.”

Peter nods, leaning down for a kiss as he tosses another t-shirt into his bag. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” She smiles, standing up and resting her hand against his bicep. “And I love you so much that I’m going to go make us dumplings before you leave in a few hours.”

He smiles, kisses her a little more forcefully this time as he tastes her vanilla chapstick, and then smacks her butt playfully on the way out the door.

_______________________________

The cabin is nestled among the mountains in North Carolina, virtually pitch black when they finally arrive on Friday night. Peter steps out of the car and immediately feels at ease, grabbing his bag from the trunk of Gabe’s car and following everyone into the house where they immediately begin claiming rooms and beds.

He settles himself in the master bedroom at the insistence of all of his friends, dropping his bag in front of the doors that lead out onto a porch, sending a quick text off to Lara Jean to let her know they were there safely and he was definitely still missing both his girls more than he ever expected.

Lara Jean sends him a picture of she and Emmi cuddling together on the couch, both of them smiling. _We watched Moana to start off our girls weekend. Missing you too, but have fun! xo_

_Oh, she’s also in bed now. That was from earlier. I’m not THAT irresponsible to have her awake at almost midnight :) love you!_

He smiles, sending back a kissy emoji for good measure before pocketing his phone, walking back to hang out with his friends and live in the moment.

They immediately find the alcohol in their feverish unpacking of the food they brought with them, cracking open beers and retreating to the porch that overlooks the mountain range just outside the window. Peter can’t remember the last time he felt this at peace, away from the bustling of the city and life in general and just reveling in the quiet that nature brings to this part of the world.

He and his friends talk about life, spending time catching up after months of being apart. Peter can’t remember the last time Mark and Jake were in town to hang out with them, and while Owen was much younger than all of them even he seemed to be enjoying his time, taking the light jabs and teasing about him finally being legal to drink in stride.

When they finally retreat to bed when the clock is nearing 2 Peter hates to admit that he feels slightly tipsy, pulling his shirt off and letting it fall to the floor as he drags himself underneath the blankets in the impossibly comfortable bed, drifting off to sleep before he has a chance to think about how much he’s missing both of his girls being beside him and right down the hall.

—

Peter wakes up to the smell of bacon floating down the halls, running his hand over his face and quickly realizing his dry mouth and the slight headache behind his eyes.

He’s _not_ admitting he’s hungover to his best friends, but when he finally does pull himself from the bed he’s pretty sure he could live in for the rest of his life and walks down the hall, he finds that he’s not the only one clearly feeling the slight hangover despite not going too wild the night before.

“You guys are so weak,” Owen teases, poking at the bacon with a spatula. “We had like, three beers each, and all of you are hungover.”

“Not all of us are 22 anymore,” Peter sighs, nudging his brother on his way to the fridge to grab the orange juice. “Apparently I can’t drink the way I used to.”

“Thank god we’re not going clubbing,” Mark yawns, running his hand through his hair. “I really don’t think we can handle that, and I feel very lame saying that.”

Owen laughs, putting the bacon onto a plate and sliding it in front of everyone, grabbing a piece for himself before it’s gone. The conversation shifts from how hungover they were to getting out of the cabin and going hiking that afternoon, and as the guys trickle in and out of the kitchen to start getting ready Peter convinces himself to get up, wanting to make the most of this guys weekend.

—

They go hiking that afternoon on a trail near the cabin they were staying at, where there’s little cell service and almost no other people, and for most of it Peter can feel his head clear and himself become more relaxed.

When they reach the summit he stands far too close to the edge for anyone else’s liking and takes in the scene below him, the valleys and trees and burning sun hanging above them, as he takes a deep breath.

He hasn’t been away from Emmi since she was born. He’d made tentative plans with Mark and Jake when Emmi was 3, set up dates he thought would be good to go hiking when the weather was nice, and then canceled all of them when they got close, apologizing profusely but that he couldn’t fathom leaving Emmi in that moment.

And he had been nervous this time about leaving Emmi. Anxiety bubbled up inside of him for weeks, almost forcing him to cancel the plans for his own bachelor party. He called his mom on his way to pick up Emmi from school one afternoon, letting his worries and anxieties spill out as she listened, then simply took a breath and spoke.

“I think you’re so worried about Emmi believing that you’ll leave her too that you haven’t thought about what you want,” She had said, pausing her conversation to help a customer. “Emmi is 6 years old, Peter. And she loves you and knows that you are never going to leave her.”

“But what if I leave and she suddenly thinks I lied to her this whole time?”

“She won’t,” His mom said. Peter remembers her words being so firm, no room for negotiation, that Peter just accepted it. “She has Lara Jean to stay with her all weekend. And she’s going to have a blast. Isn’t this what you always wanted? To have someone in your life who loved Emmi so much that you wouldn’t feel guilty for leaving her for a few nights.”

Peter stayed silent for a moment, then quietly admitted that she was right and that he was being ridiculous.

And now he finds himself standing at the summit of the hiking trail looking out over the terrain below him, the sounds of nature and no cars or city life, and takes a deep breath.

He is here. He is celebrating. He has a fiancé in his life who loves his daughter so much he can go away for a weekend without her. And everything in his life finally feels okay.

They stop to eat lunch on the outlook, unpacking the bag they took turns carrying up and talking about what they wanted to do when they got back. Peter mostly stays quiet, listening to the light bickering between the other guys who are deciding between venturing into town to go to a bar or stay at the house and go in the hot tub while having beers together instead.

The argument isn’t settled by the time they finish their lunch, but with the trail getting more crowded and people beginning to stop around them for lunch they head back down the trail and towards the cabin, joking and laughing the entire way.

—

Venturing into town for dinner wins eventually. They got back to the cabin to shower and change before piling into the cars and driving the short distance into a small town that reminds Peter of UNC, stopping at a bar to get some food and have a good time.

It was quiet, just a few couples huddled into booths before the boys piled into one themselves, ordering a round of drinks and looking through the menus.

“Thank you guys for planning all of this,” Peter smiles once they’ve ordered, reaching for his beer. “I know you guys are all busy and it probably wasn’t easy to get everyone free at the same time this close to the wedding, so like, thanks for working it all out.”

“Are you joking? We wouldn’t have missed this,” Mark jokes, nudging Peter’s shoulder beside him. “It’s not every day we get to spend one of the final weekends together before one of us goes off and gets married.”

“I’m personally very glad that it’s Covey you’re marrying. Don’t think it would feel quite right being at a bachelor weekend celebration if you were marrying anyone else,” Darrell teases.

Peter rolls his eyes, lets it cross his mind that this could’ve been a bachelor weekend before his marriage to Juliet, and then stops himself. Because there’s this part of him that thinks maybe he was always destined to be with Lara Jean. That despite the messy breakup and the losing touch and him having a child in those years between all of this, they were always destined to find their ways back to each other. They would have always made it to this moment.

She always felt like the one. Even back in high school. Peter was just too dumb to make her realize that, too. At least until now.

They watch the baseball game on TV and eat bar food that Peter wishes they had in the city, laughing about the weekend away and how great it was to get away from their lives.

And then they go back to the cabin and drink more to the point where Peter feels slightly tipsy climbing into the hot tub, Owen offering to stay less drunk so the guys could all have a good time and no one drowned. And they talked about everything from life to girlfriends to work, even stopping to give some jabs to Owen about his not-relationship with Kitty.

One by one the guys go to bed, Owen makes Peter and Gabe promise that they’ll be fine if he retires for the night, too, and just for good measure both guys get out of the hot tub and sit down in the chairs on the deck to finish off the last of their beers in the still of the night.

“Just a few more weeks,” Gabe mumbles, lips hovering near his bottle. “A few more weeks and Covey will officially be your wife.”

“Can you believe it’s happened so fast?”

Gabe shakes his head. “No, I can’t,” He admits, turning to look at his best friend. “But I’m glad it did.”

“Me too,” Peter mumbles, taking another swig of his beer.

“You know, I’ve watched you and Emmi through everything. Being okay back with Juliet, moving back here and struggling for a while. Em’s first day of school, her first soccer game. Everything. And I thought about what her life would be like if she was Lara Jean’s kid.”

“You did?” Peter asks. He’s aware they’re both drunk, can feel the way he feels kind of like he’s not all there, but the sentence almost sobers him up a little bit.

And Gabe nods, swallowing another sip of his beer. “It’s just… you and Lara Jean just fit. There’s something about you that’s different when you’re with her. You’re settled, you’re happy, you look more relaxed. And Juliet just didn’t do that for you. You were happy with her, sure. And she gave you the best kid ever. But you weren’t _you_.”

Peter nods like he understands, staring out over the starry sky.

“But now Emmi does have Lara Jean, and you guys are all going to be a family in a few weeks, and I’m just really happy that this all worked out. Even if it took a long time.”

Peter nods. “Emmi asked me if Lara Jean could adopt her a few weeks ago.”

Gabe sits up a little straighter, turning to look at Peter. “What did you say? Is she going to?”

“Well I wanted to make sure Lara Jean was open to even wanting to adopt her. Which she _is_. But Em’s going to ask her officially on Mother’s Day.”

“Damn, Kavinsky,” Gabe smiles. “I’m really, really happy for you. And for Ems. Things are really looking up for everyone, aren’t they?”

“Yeah, they are,” Peter nods, hiding a smile behind his beer bottle.

Gabe finishes the last of is bottle, clapping Peter’s shoulder on the way back into the house after Peter says he’ll be right there.

And then he takes in the quiet air and the sounds of early Summer, savoring this last night before they’re back to the city and he’s back to his crazy life.

He can hear the door open and shut behind him and Owen appears in the chair once occupied by Gabe, changed into pajamas with a bottle of water in hand.

“Thought you’d come in when Gabe did.”

“I am now,” Peter nods, head leaning back against the chair. “Just taking in the scenery for the final night. I was about to come to bed.”

Owen nods, taking a sip of the water before handing it over for Peter to take a sip. “I know we weren’t always close when we were younger, but it means a lot that you chose me to be your best man.”

“How could I get married without my brother right by my side?” Peter smiles. “And besides, I’m really glad we’re close now. Makes life a lot better. And Em has the world’s best uncle.”

“I do what I can,” Owen smirks, but he’s hiding a smile and Peter laughs, reaching out to nudge his shoulder. There’s a comfortable silence, Owen nudges Peter to have more water, and then he sighs. “I was thinking about asking Kitty out on a date.”

“Oh yeah?” Peter smiles, eyebrows raising. “Be careful with those Covey girls, they know what they want.”

Owen laughs, nodding. “Why do you think it’s been this long before I’ve asked her out on an official date?” He pauses, pulling at the tie on his pajama pants. “But we’re going to grad school near each other and I just… the distance won’t be an issue anymore.”

Peter smiles, standing up from the chair and steadying himself on his feet. “Dude, you’ll be fine. You and Kitty have been close for years, and besides, she’s definitely into you. Just be your normal self and she’ll say yes.”

Owen laughs, resting his hand on his brother’s arm as they walk into the house. He walks him down to his room, watching him clumsily pull his shirt off and fall into bed, and then pulls the blankets over him. “I know you’re drunk, but you still give pretty decent advice,” Owen smiles. “Night, Peter.”

Peter doesn’t answer, just smiles and buries himself into the blankets further, and as Owen shuts off the light and makes his way back to his own bedroom, he finds himself feeling thankful that he and Peter had grown this close after their dad left.

_______________________________

Peter spends the week leading up to Mother’s Day researching stepparent adoption, finding the procedures and what forms he’ll need to get to make this all official.

Emmi has done surprisingly well keeping it a secret, working on a craft to give to her on Mother’s Day morning while Lara Jean works late at the bakery. She keeps insisting that she want this, that she’s excited to ask Lara Jean and she hopes that she likes the drawing she’s making to ask her to adopt her, and then on Friday Peter helps her spell out “will you adopt me?” in her neatest handwriting at the top of the page.

Peter stops by the courthouse on his lunch break, following the signs to the right offices and grabbing the forms for the adoption. He doesn’t plan on filing it right away, wanting to wait until after the wedding when they file their own forms, but they’re nice to have and it all feels little more official when they go to ask her.

He hides them in his work bag, tucked away behind important documents just in case Lara Jean did happen to see his work things. Emmi’s drawings are tucked away in the guest bedroom dresser, a place where Lara Jean has no reason to go looking for things.

On the morning of Mother’s Day Peter sets his alarm earlier than they would normally get up, quietly creeping out of bed as Lara Jean stirs beside him but never wakes.

He throws on a t-shirt, opening and closing their bedroom door with ease, and creeps down the hall into Emmi’s room, sitting on the edge of her bed. “Hey, love bug, want to come make pancakes with me for Lara Jean?”

Emmi rolls over, rubbing her eyes and stretching out along the length of her bed, nodding. “It’s Mother’s Day?” She asks, sitting up and pushing her messy hair out of her face. “I can ask her to adopt me today?”

Peter laughs, nodding as he holds his arms out. Emmi pulls herself from her blankets, crawling into his lap and wrapping her heavy body around him, head resting against his shoulder as he walks into the kitchen and sits her down on the counter.

They turn on music quietly and laugh while they make the pancake batter, and with Emmi’s help Peter pours the batter into the pan, flipping them and piling them onto a plate to set out on the kitchen table. Emmi swipes at the bag of chocolate chips and steals a handful, shoving them into her mouth as she giggles at Peter leaning towards her, teasing her about stealing the chocolate this early in the morning before he kisses her nose and all around her face.

And what they don’t realize is that Lara Jean has been standing in the entry to the kitchen for the last few minutes, watching the scene unfold in front of her. She pulls the sleeves of Peter’s sweatshirt down around her hands and crossing her arms over her chest. She watches the way Emmi sneaks more mini chocolate chips when Peter turns to flip the pancakes, laughing when Peter fake yells at her. Her head tips back, her tiny hand covers her mouth, and even though Peter is laughing and jokingly getting in her face he still reaches a hand out, rests in on her hip and steadies her so she doesn’t get hurt.

And maybe before she _had_ been afraid of dating Peter again. Of meeting his daughter, winning her approval. She’d been afraid to trust him, realize that people grow and change and Peter wasn’t the same Peter who pushed her away and broke her heart junior year of college. And things didn’t have to be like that. They were adults now, time had passed, life had happened. And so maybe taking the leap of faith would be okay.

She’s glad she jumped, in hindsight. In just over a month they’d be standing in her childhood backyard getting married, and even though it took a heartbreak and years of losing touch to finding each other again, it happened. A twisted seal of fate, one that proved that if the person is right they’ll find their ways back to each other.

She watches the scene quietly, unable to keep the smile off her face when Emmi laughs or when Peter kisses her just because he can, and thinks about how effortlessly they opened up their little family unit to her. She no longer feels like an outsider, no longer feels awkward or uncomfortable with picking up more parenting responsibilities. And there are a million others that she doesn't get right, a million things she still needs to learn and grow and get used to, but Emmi calling her Mama is the greatest joy in the world, and those days where she feels overwhelmed and like she’ll never learn to toe the line between biological parent and stepparents suddenly get a little easier.

“Mama!” Emmi says, breaking her from her trance when she notices Lara Jean standing in the doorway. “Mama we made you pancakes! For Mother’s Day!”

Lara Jean smiles, walking into the kitchen and perching up on her tip toes to kiss Peter before she presses a kiss to Emmi’s head. “You didn’t have to do this.”

“We did,” Peter smiles, shutting off the burner and kissing Lara Jean again. “You’re her mom, aren’t you?” He smirks. “Besides, I made banana. Still your favorite?”

“God, yes,” Lara Jean groans, grabbing the syrup from the cabinet as Peter helps Emmi off the counter and grabs the plate of pancakes to bring to the table.

They eat as a family, laughing as they tell stories and listening to Emmi talk about her friends and her t-ball team, but Peter’s mind drifts between the conversation and the question Emmi is going to ask Lara Jean in a few minutes.

When the chocolate chip pancakes are gone from Emmi’s plate and she’s begrudgingly let Peter win her mouth she turns to him, eyes wide. “Can I _please_ give Mama her gifts now?”

And Peter nods, watching Emmi slide off the chair and run down towards the guest room, turning back towards his fiancé.

“She has gifts for me?”

“She does,” Peter smiles. “They make them in class. Gotta say, I’m a little sad they’re not for me this year.”

Lara Jean laughs, but before she has a chance to reply Emmi sets a gift bag in front of Lara Jean on the table, bouncing on her toes. “We made it in art class!”

Emmi watches as Lara Jean pulls the tissue paper out, revealing a flower pot that was decorated with paintings of flowers on it. “Do you like it? I did your favorite colors!”

Lara Jean smiles, twisting the pot around in her hands and admiring the pinks and purples Emmi had chosen, chewing on the inside of her cheek to stop herself from crying as she looks back at the 6 year old standing in front of her. “I love it so much, Emmi,” She smiles. “We’ll have to go find the perfect flower to plant in it at the garden center.”

Emmi is beaming at this point, throwing herself into Lara Jean’s arms when she sets the pot down on the table. And Lara Jean squeezes her, pulling back just enough that she’s able to press a kiss to her cheek. “Thank you for my gift, peanut. I love you.”

“Love you too," She smiles, leaning back to sit on Lara Jean’s lap as she looks back over at Peter. “Can we give her the other gift now?”

“There’s more?”

Peter laughs, nodding. “You know where it is?” When Emmi nods she jumps off Lara Jean’s lap and runs back down the hall, returning a moment later with a drawing in her hand.

“Daddy helped me with it,” Emmi smiles, but Lara Jean notices the way she seems more timid as she walks back over to where Peter is sitting, standing in between his legs and leaning back against his chest.

Lara Jean sets the paper down on the table, unfolding it and looking at the drawing in front of her.

It’s a picture of the three of them, Emmi in between holding both of their hands. Lara Jean smiles at the detail, how she drew cupcakes next to her and what she assumes is a lacrosse stick next to Peter, and how there’s a soccer ball in front her.

And then she notices the writing up top, messy 6 year old handwriting that’s clearly done as neat as possible, all the words spelled right. Lara Jean reads them once. Then twice. And then her eyes widen, reading them once more for good measure.

_Will you adopt me?_

Lara Jean doesn’t bother stopping the tears now, looking up from the drawing and back over at Peter and Emmi. “Are you serious, Em? You want me to adopt you?”

Emmi is smiling timidly, nodding as she chews on her fingers. “Will you, Mama? Will you adopt me?”

“Oh my god, yes of course,” She says, holding her arms out for Emmi to walk into. She’s squeezing her against her chest again and they’re both crying and when she looks at Peter he’s just smiling but she notices his eyes are watery, too. And so she reaches her hand out, taking his and squeezing it, savoring this moment that seems so perfect and so far out of reality that she can’t even believe it’s actually happening.

“I figured we could wait until after the wedding. That way we don’t have to refile everything after we’re officially married,” Peter says quietly once they’ve all composed themselves. He moves into the seat where Emmi once sat, hand still resting firmly in Lara Jean’s.

Lara Jean nods, smoothing Emmi’s hair back as she rests against her chest. “And we don’t have to do anything extra?” She asks, being mindful about Emmi listening in on their conversation.

Peter shakes his head, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “She ended it all. I have all the forms.”

And Lara Jean feels her heart speed up even faster at the thought of no roadblocks to stop this from happening. Just a straightforward process that will happen after the wedding, and while it won’t bring any major changes, it just makes everything much easier.

“This is the best first Mother’s Day ever,” Lara Jean mumbles, squeezing Emmi against her chest, lips pressing to the top of her head. “Want to go get ice cream to celebrate?”

“Now?” Emmi asks, perking up. “But we didn’t eat lunch yet!”

“I think this is a good day to break that rule. To celebrate,” Lara Jean smiles.

“Go pick a dress to wear,” Peter agrees, laughing as Emmi takes off down the hall.

He turns to Lara Jean when they’re alone, standing up to clear the table and pull Lara Jean in for a hug, kissing her.

“Peter, is this why you asked me if I wanted to adopt Emmi a few weeks ago?”

Peter shrugs, pulling on his t-shirt and nodding. “I just wanted to be positive that we were on the same page before I let Emmi ask you. It was her idea to ask you, I had nothing to do with it.”

Lara Jean believes him, standing on her toes to kiss him again. “Well, I have never been so surprised about something in my life.”

“Not even me proposing?”

Lara Jean laughs, pressing her lips just above his t-shirt on his collarbone. “Okay, maybe that day, too.”

“Well, Covey, I am honored that our family could be the top two most shocking moments in your life,” He teases, squeezing her hip. “Celebrate tonight?” He teases, raising his eyebrows and Lara Jean just laughs, smacking his arm and walking down the hall to get ready for their day out.

He texts his mom to tell her the updated good news, and when the three of them are finally dressed and ready to go he trails behind the girls walking down the hall of their apartment building, watching as they hold hands and laugh about something Emmi’s said, thanking every twist of fate and every bad experience that led up to this moment.

This is the greatest moment of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> emmi asked! in all honesty i was going to delay this and make you all wait longer for it, but with only a few chapters left there really isn't any other place it would fit! and i really wanted her to ask on Mother's Day omg so! you get it today yay!
> 
> thank you guys so so much for reading/commenting/leaving kudos! you guys are the best and i can't wait to post the wedding :)
> 
> more will be up sooon! 
> 
> title of the chapter is from Someone Like You by The Summer Set


	16. on a night like this I could fall in love with you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lara Jean celebrates her bachelorette weekend and there's a slight hiccup back home

Lara Jean digs her toes into the sand standing on the water’s edge as the ocean laps at her feet, sun setting over the horizon. The wind blows through her hair, flips the edges of her dress back against her skin, and it’s a feeling Lara Jean wishes she could have every day.

They rented a house right on the beach for her bachelorette weekend, and while the girls had gone back to get ready for dinner Lara Jean lingered out on the beach for a little while longer once they arrived, breathing in the warm air and trying not to think about the wedding happening one week from this very moment.

When she walks back up the steps to their house and opens the back door she’s met with decorations hung in the living rom and kitchen, Margot mixing a drink at the island with a smile on her face. “We can’t have a celebration without decorations!” She reasoned, handing her sister a cocktail on her way down the hall to get ready for dinner.

Lara Jean had never been one for big celebrations. She remembers back in high school when Peter would drag her to parties and how out of her comfort zone she always felt. How she wished she could be back at home in her kitchen making cupcakes while Peter swipes his finger at the batter. But she always went, and eventually, after what felt like years, they didn’t feel so bad going to.

Her bachelorette weekend is a whole other situation. She knows it's a rite of passage into the wedding, a tradition in which her sister’s weren’t going to let pass by, and so she’s been preparing herself for the attention and the slightly out of her comfort zone experience she’s going to endure for the weekend.

“What did you put in this?” Lara Jean calls, grimacing as she follows Margot back down the hall. “And by what did you put in this I mean how much alcohol is in this?”

Margot laughs, setting her own drink down on the nightstand and pulling her shirt off, digging through her bag for a dress for dinner. “Enough alcohol to make you relax and stop worrying about the wedding and Peter and Emmi back at home,” She smiles. “It’s your bachelorette weekend, Lara Jean! We need to celebrate properly!”

“The wedding is a week away, Go-Go,” Lara Jean sighs. She sits on the edge of Margot’s bed, smoothing out the hem of her dress. “And I feel like there’s so much I have to do, and it’s not that I don’t want to be here with you guys, I just don’t want to forget to do something because I was here partying.”

Margot pulls the dress over her head, smoothing it out and braiding her hair in the mirror. “Lara Jean, you’re not going to forget to do something for this wedding,” She says softly. She’s so confident that Lara Jean almost believes her instantly. “You have Mina, who’s great and getting the last of the touches together for this thing, and Peter has coordinated the final things this weekend. All you need to worry about is having a good time this week and let us worry about the final details when we get home Monday night.”

Lara Jean agrees, moving to braid Margot’s hair effortlessly while she talks about how she and Ravi trying to have a kid and how they feel like they’re more ready than ever. Lara Jean is half waiting for Margot to ask her when they’re going to have kids and mention how exciting it would be to be pregnant together, but she ties off the braid and Margot stands up, smiling and taking her hand so they could get ready to go.

_______________________________

Lara Jean doesn’t know how she ended up at a bar when it’s well past midnight.

All she knows is that she’s had three vodka cranberries, she’s sufficiently tipsy, and she wants nothing more than to crawl into bed and sleep until the sun rises the following morning.

Chris has dragged her out onto the dance floor, all the girls laughing in the crowd of people as they knock their bodies together, everyone clearly drunk. Lara Jean has this ridiculous bride-to-be sash on that Jenna bought and all the girls insisted she wear, and while it keeps falling off her shoulder Lara Jean just readjusts it, letting herself let loose and have fun when she normally wouldn’t do anything like this.

They don’t leave the bar until the bartenders announce last call and most of the people have dispersed back to their tables to get ready to leave, and for as much as Lara Jean hadn’t wanted a bachelorette party that was too wild, she has to admit that she had an amazing night and she knows the following day will only get better.

Jenna, Zoe and Chris all file into their rooms when they walk back in the front door of their house that night, mumbling some sort of goodnight. Kitty lingers for a moment before going to her room, and wordlessly Lara Jean and Margot follow her, the three climbing into the double bed together, savoring the moment.

“You okay, Kitty?” Lara Jean asks, but her head is sort of spinning and she doesn’t really think she’s in the position to be asking that question, but Kitty hums underneath Lara Jean’s chin that had been resting on her sister’s shoulder, nodding.

“I had a really fun time tonight,” Kitty whispers. It’s obvious she drunk as she wriggles her body to be able to turn around, staring at both of her sisters. “I’m glad that I’m old enough to be able to hang out with you guys like this.”

“We’re really happy, too,” Margot smiles, arm reaching over Lara Jean to ruffle Kitty's head. “Just the Song-Covey girls forever, right?”

“Always,” Lara Jean nods.

It feels like the end of an era in a way, this bachelorette party. Lara Jean can remember how she felt on Margot’s bachelorette party as if it was yesterday. Because yes, Margot had been out of the house since she was 18 and the Song-Covey girls had been mostly long distance except for holidays, but a wedding just seems so permanent. And now that she was getting married it meant that it was just Kitty left, a change that was subtle, but felt between the girls nonetheless.

Lara Jean is convinced Kitty’s fallen asleep, nudging Margot that they should get to bed themselves before Kitty’s voice cuts through the quiet.

“Owen asked me out on a date.”

And as if the alcohol hadn’t been altering her brain enough, Lara Jean half wonders if she hallucinated Kitty talking.

But then she looks down and Kitty is staring at her with wide eyes and a hint of a smile tugging at her lips, and she knows it wasn’t something her hazy brain made up.

“He did? What did you say?”

“I said yeah, sure,” Kitty shrugs, chewing on her lip. “I mean, we’ve been fooling around for a while, might as well let him take me on a date.”

“You’ve been fooling around with Owen Kavinsky?” Margot asks, eyes flicking between both of her sisters. “How did both of my sisters get Kavinsky boys?”

“Well, I think Lara Jean’s started with some letters she wrote when she was in 7th grade,” Kitty smiles smugly, earning a groan from Lara Jean.

“Good night my favorite sisters!” She calls, wiggling out of her spot in the middle, blowing both of them kisses and walking down the hall as their laughs echo off the walls.

She changes into one of Peter’s old t-shirts, checking her phone and texting Peter a quick kissing emoji, setting it on the nightstand and rolling over.

The waves crash along the shore outside her window, the sea air blows through the bedroom, and for everything that Lara Jean has to finish that week, nothing feels better than being by the sea.

_______________________________

The sun beats down on her skin, the waves lap at her feet from where she’s sitting in her chair, and Lara Jean has spent the last 20 minutes trying to figure out a sensible way she, Peter and Emmi could move to the beach and start their lives there.

It’s not realistic, not in the slightest, but sitting here digging her toes into the sand and feeling the cool water on her ankles combined with the slight hangover she’s still nursing has Lara Jean thinking irrational thoughts.

Like how that abandoned shop on the corner would be the perfect place for a little bakery. Or how Emmi would love riding her bike on the trails lining the beach’s entrance on the weekends.

She texts Peter her ideas, which he promptly sends back three crying laughing emojis and begins typing immediately.

_Maybe when we’re older and Emmi and any future children are old enough we can get a vacation place there. And you can open a seasonal second location :)_

Lara Jean agrees, lets it be a pipe dream in her mind, and then finds herself getting distracted when the girls all huddle under the umbrella to eat lunch and get out of the sun for a few minutes.

“So, you’re really adopting Emmi?” Zoe asks over her sandwich, reaching into the cooler for a bottle of water.

Lara Jean nods, smiling. "She asked me on Mother’s Day,” She say quickly, but all the girls know and so she shrugs, trying to act totally casual about it all. “We decided it’d be best if we waited until after the wedding when I have to file all my legal documents as well, but I’m going to officially adopt her and we’re all really excited about it.”

“And you don’t have to worry about her birth mom coming back in the picture?”

Lara Jean shakes her head. “I didn’t really get into specifics with Peter because he said it was all handled, but I do know that her mom signed over to surrender her parental rights when she left them, and so I guess that’s why it qualifies me to just adopt her without having to get permission from her for me to do so.”

All the girls nod, eating their sandwiches for a moment before Jenna speaks up. “Do you ever worry about her birth mom coming back into the picture? Like asking to see her again or be a part of her life?” She asks, reaching for her water. “I think that would be a huge fear in the back of my mind if I was adopting my future husband’s child.”

Lara Jean opens her mouth to answer, and then closes it again and thinks about the question for a moment. “I mean, Peter met with her right after we got engaged. She sent him an email asking if they could meet up and talk.”

“She did?” Jenna questions.

Lara Jean nods. “She basically told him that she has no interest in being in either of their lives right again, but she had been curious as to how they were doing and wanted a chance to explain herself,” Lara Jean takes a sip of water. “So while I guess it’s possible she could come back, I don’t think she will. Ever. And if she does, well, Emmi can choose what kind of relationship she wants to have with her. We wouldn’t deny her seeing her mom or having a relationship with her if she wanted one.”  
The girls nod, the conversation shifts to the rehearsal dinner and the wedding itself, and Lara Jean takes a back seat to it all, letting her mind wander to the butterflies in her stomach and the excitement coursing through her veins when she thinks about marrying her best friend in just a few days.

_______________________________

That feeling where your skin feels slightly sticky from the sunscreen and being out in the water all day is one of Lara Jean’s favorite feelings.

She thinks it has a lot to do with her love of summer, how those feelings make her feel like she can breathe and the weather is nice and there’s a little reprieve from the chaos of the school year that’s now winding down, and when the summer ends and that feeling slowly dissipates as the leaves begin to change, Lara Jean finds herself missing it.

They make their way back to the house to get changed for dinner, and after showering the sunscreen off and braiding her hair so it’s out of her face Lara Jean retreats to the deck, waiting for everyone else to be ready to go.

The door opens and closes, Chris appears at her side with a daiquiri in hand for her, and together they sit to watch the sunset together. “We’re not driving, it’s perfectly fine to have these. Besides, I only made one batch and split in half between the two of us. You can call me a genius at any time, LJ,” Chris laughs, taking a sip of her own daiquiri as she sits in the chair beside her best friend.

“Can you believe the wedding is in six days?” Lara Jean asks after a moment, pulling her feet up underneath her. “Like I’m really going to be getting married in six days.”

“You’re just realizing that now?” Chris laughs. “I can’t believe it’s happening in six days, though. Feel like you just FaceTimed me telling me you were engaged.”

Lara Jean smiles, sipping on her daiquiri and staring out at the sunset over the ocean, shamelessly snapping a photo to remember forever.

“Who would’ve thought all those years ago when we used to hang out in the treehouse that little Lara Jean Song-Covey and Peter Kavinsky would be getting married?”

“Did you have your bets on Peter and Gen?” Lara Jean smirks.

“God, no,” Chris laughs, taking a sip of her drink. “They were doomed from the start, let’s be honest. Even pre-love letter that got sent out.”

Lara Jean laughs. “I guess I really do have Kitty to thank for this relationship. Even if there was a six year break in between us breaking up and getting back together for good.”

Chris nods, lets the silence fall over for them for a moment, and then turns to face her best friend. “I’m really, really glad that we never lost each other through college and long distance and dumb excursions I thought were a good idea at the time.”

“You got a lot of world views,” Lara Jean laughs, picking at a string on her dress. “But I’m really glad we stuck through it all, too,” She says softly. “I really can’t imagine standing up there getting married without my best friend standing right by my side.”

“I’m not really one to get sentimental,” Chris reminds Lara Jean, eyebrows raising. “And I _definitely_ don’t believe in that fate thing because I wouldn’t be with Nico if I believed in fate, but you and Peter are all those dumb cliches that we used to laugh about when we were in middle school.”

“What cliches?” Lara Jean asks, and quickly she finds herself turning back to face the sunset, taking a sip of her drink and praying her quickly blushing cheeks look more like sunburn than anything else.

“Oh come on, you know,” Chris smiles. “Like who falls in love with a guy in elementary school, writes him some sick love letter that gets sent out when we’re juniors, fake dates him, really dates him, breaks up with him and is heartbroken about it only to have him walk into your bakery years later ready to take a leap of faith and fall in love with you again.”

“I don't think him walking into the bakery and seeing me again means anything. That’s not — I don’t really consider that fate.”

Lara Jean hears Chris shift in her chair and glances out of the corner of her eye to see Chris leaning on the arm with her elbows, staring at her. “You _have_ to be kidding me,” She deadpans, smiling. “You’re telling me out of all the bakeries in the city he just happened to come to yours?”

“He said it was on his way home!”

“Peter lied, Lara Jean,” Chris laughs. “I’m not into this fate bullshit, but some greater force brought him to your bakery. Trust me.”

Lara Jean rolls her eyes, but can't hide her smile anymore as she finishes off her drink. “You’re ridiculous, Chris.”

“But you do love me, don’t you?” Chris teases, standing up from her chair and following her back into the house.

“Of course I do,” Lara Jean nods, taking both of their cups and putting them in the sink, the two of them pulling on heels to get ready to go to dinner.

Lara Jean takes in the last dinner of her bachelorette weekend when they make their way to the restaurant, and as she looks around the table at her friends and her sisters laughing and joking about things and their day on the beach, Lara Jean has no doubt in her mind that she picked the perfect wedding party to stand beside her on her special day.

_______________________________

Peter doesn’t text Lara Jean back immediately on Monday morning, but Lara Jean doesn't think much of it and chalks it up to the fact that they’re five days out from the wedding and it’s Emmi’s first official day of summer after the school year ended on Friday.

They make their way home, exhausted from a weekend in the sun and slightly burnt, but Lara Jean swears she’s never felt more relaxed in her life despite the fact that there’s a checklist sitting in a binder in her apartment with a million things that need to be checked off within the next five days.

They meet back at the bakery, where some of the other employees were working and were excited to see them back. Lara Jean had taken off for the entire week and the following week for the wedding and honeymoon, but she can’t resist going over a few orders until Jenna practically forces her out the door, hands resting on her slightly burned shoulders.

“We will be _fine_ the rest of the week,” She insists, pausing to let Lara Jean grab her bag. “You need to go home and finish planning your wedding, and then next week you’re going to be married and on your honeymoon and we will take care of the bakery.”

Lara Jean relents, but does manage to get in a few more requests for the bakery before Jenna laughs, pushing her out the door.

Lara Jean takes the subway home, balancing her bag from the weekend on her lap as she people watches. She checks her phone again, notices Peter had texted her back saying to drive safe with a few heart emojis, but other than that there’s nothing else.

She snakes her way through the crowds of people and into their apartment building, making her way upstairs and unlocking their front door to find Peter pacing the living room, Emmi resting on his shoulder, hiccuping as she tries not to cry.

“Everything okay?” She asks, watching as Peter spins around and looks relieved to see her standing there dropping her bags by the door.

“She was up all night because she didn’t feel well and then she woke up with a fever and she says her ear hurts and I know we’re only five days from the wedding but I haven’t been able to do anything because she won’t let me put her down.”

Lara Jean furrows her eyebrows, shaking her head. “Babe, you can’t worry about that,” She says quietly, resting her hand on Emmi’s forehead. “We’ll figure it out, we have time. She needs to come first.”

Peter nods, hand rubbing mindlessly across his daughter’s back as he moves to walk around the room again. “She has a doctors appointment in an hour, but until then all I can do is hold her.”

Lara Jean nods. “I’ll go with you. Want me to hold her? Give you a break?” She offers, shifting back to Emmi. “Em, do you want me to hold you for a little?”

Emmi nods, hiccuping as she lifts her head from Peter’s shoulder, reaching out for Lara Jean. “Hurts, Mama.”

“I know, baby. We’re going to get you some medicine in a minute, it’ll be fine.” She soothes, moving to sit on the sofa with Emmi as she falls asleep on her shoulder.

“Do you think she’ll be okay for the wedding?” Peter asks when he sits down on the sofa next to Lara Jean, kissing her just for good measure. “Welcome home, by the way. I can’t wait to hear all about your wild bachelorette weekend.”

“Wasn’t that wild,” Lara Jean mumbles. “But I’m sure she’ll be fine. I’m sure the doctor will give her some medicine and she can lay around here this week while we work on finishing touches, and everything will be fine.”

Peter has no choice but to believe Lara Jean, nodding as he takes a deep breath and stares at his daughter, lightly running his hand over her warm forehead and hair, hoping that everything will be fine for the wedding.

—

Emmi ends up with an ear infection and some sort of virus. They give her antibiotics for her ear, but her doctor explains that the virus will just have to run it’s course and there really isn’t much that they can do other than wait it out.

“Say we’re getting married on Saturday,” Peter begins, watching as Lara Jean pulls Emmi off the table and into her lap. “Do you think she’ll be okay for that?”

Emmi’s doctor smiles, glancing up from Emmi’s chart. “I’d say she’ll be fine. She’ll still be on the antibiotic, but the virus should’ve run it’s course by then and she’ll be back closer to your normal Emmi.”

Peter nods, thanking her quietly.

“I’m the flower girl,” Emmi speaks up, chewing on her fingers as she looks back at her daughter. “I can still do it?”

“You can, you just have to rest for the next few days,” Her doctor nods, and Peter is still so relieved that it’s not as bad as he made it out to be in his mind that he doesn’t even get annoyed his daughter’s doctor just promised Emmi she’ll be good to go for the wedding. “You’ll be walking down that aisle with your dad and Lara Jean, but you will still have to keep taking your medicine.”

Emmi scrunches her nose but nods anyway, thanking the doctor when she hands her a sticker on the way out the door for being cooperative.

Peter barely has time to get some soup and her antibiotic in her before Emmi is passed out on the sofa, stuffy breathing and all. Peter opts to leave her there, joining Lara Jean at the kitchen table where their wedding binder is spread out and the final touches are being done so they can send things over to Mina.

“I’m going to send these playlists for her to give to the DJ,” Lara Jean says, scrolling through her Spotify until she finds the two playlists the two spent far too long and had far too many arguments over. “Any last minute songs you want to add?”

“I’m too exhausted to go through a whole process of adding more songs,” Peter laughs, running his fingers through his hair. “Just send over the playlists and we’ll live with whatever we chose in our most heated moments.”

“Those arguments were relationship strengtheners.”

“Were they?” Peter asks, but he’s half laughing and leans over to kiss Lara Jean, reaching out to play with her ring while she scribbles down on their note sheet.

“Do you have any particular poses you want for our wedding photos?” She asks, tearing her gaze away from the sheet in front of her to look back at her fiancé. “Because if you do I have to make special requests to the photographer now. Otherwise we’re just going with what she tells us to do.”

“Babe,” Peter sighs, looking back at her. “Do I look like the type of person that’s going to have a wedding photographer pose I’m dying to have done?” He asks, and Lara Jean is laughing, shaking her head.

“God no,” She admits, shaking her head as she types out an email feverishly. “So whatever poses she suggests it is.”

“I just want a picture with you and I want a picture with Emmi, and any other picture is a bonus at this point,” He admits, stifling a yawn. “Does it make me ridiculous if I tell you that I’m going to bed as soon as we’re done with these decisions for the night?”

Lara Jean types, shaking her head. “I think it’s fine. You were up with a sick kid last night, she isn’t any better today, and you have to be exhausted.”

“Didn’t feel any worse than when she was two right after Juliet left,” Peter mumbles, staring at the table. “Kind of made me feel like that again last night. I just felt so… helpless.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here,” Lara Jean frowns.

Peter realizes what he said, widening his eyes. “Oh my god, no, I didn’t mean it like that,” He says quickly. “I just… you’re not like her. Not at all. I was just saying that it reminded me of when I didn’t know what to do and all I could do was hold her, and —“

Lara Jean cuts off his rambling, pressing her lips to his. It’s rough at first, and then she backs off, kissing him lighter. “I knew what you meant,” She whispers, cupping his face in her hands and kissing him once again for good measure. “And if she wakes up tonight, I’ll get up with her.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Peter whispers.

“Hey, you can let me in, remember?” She mumbles, thumb brushing against his jaw. “We’ve been doing so well. You know I can take care of her.”

And Peter, who had been so guarded and so caught off guard by him feeling like he used to back when things were so uncertain, smiles and nods. “You can. God, you definitely can,” He says, and he’s never believed something so firmly in his entire life.

They finish up the last of the checklist Lara Jean had made for that night, Lara Jean closes her laptop, standing up and kissing the top of Peter’s head as she moves to get something to drink. “Go get Em in bed, I’ll be back to bed in a minute.”

And so Peter does, carefully lifting Emmi off of the sofa and bringing her down to her room, leaving her water bottle and the baby monitor he occasionally uses when she’s sick on her nightstand, and when he climbs into bed Lara Jean joins him, crawling into her side of the bed.

“We’re getting married in five days,” She whispers when she turns to face him.

And for everything Peter had experienced in the last 24 hours, he can’t help but smile. “We are,” He agrees, thumb brushing against her hip.

“I love you,” She smiles. “And I love how you’re the best dad in the world and you care about Emmi more than anyone or anything else in the world, and I know that whenever we decide to have kids in the future you’re going to be the best dad to them, too.”

“You’re going to make my lack-of-sleep mind cry, Lara Jean. Just so you know.”

“Maybe that was my intention,” Lara Jean smirks, laughing against his lips as she kisses him.

Peter does eventually stop making out with her, kissing her once more for good measure before he burrows under the blankets, falling asleep almost instantly.

Lara Jean stays awake for a little, listening to Emmi breathe over the baby monitor on Peter’s side of the bed and watches the moonlight and the car headlights stream across their comforter, but when she does eventually will herself to sleep all she thinks about is how in five days she and Peter will be married, and every seventh grade dream she ever had was finally coming true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> only two chapters left! but i'm not going to stop posting in this little universe, don't worry! i'm leaning towards doing one-shots of moments rather than a full fic again, so if there's any little moments in this universe you wanted to see, feel free to tell me! here or tumblr works :) (obvs there will be more kid moments - and those may be a little bit longer than just one chapter) :)
> 
> thank you guys so much for reading/commenting/leaving kudos you're all the best and i still can't believe you guys like this as much as you do! 
> 
> more soooon! :)
> 
> title of the chapters is from On A Night Like This by Dave Barnes


	17. all that you are is all that I'll ever need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the wedding rehearsal dinner and Lara Jean and Peter's last night before they're married

Lara Jean moves hastily around the apartment, grabbing everything she needs for the wedding and triple checking the bags by the door of things they need for the ceremony.

“What if we forget something? I’m not driving back here tonight and we need everything,” Lara Jean panics, tearing through their bedroom as if she had hid something in a drawer or under the bed to find later.

Peter laughs, reaching out and resting his hand on her shoulder. “You have checked this apartment for things we might have forgotten a million times,” He says softly. Lara Jean huffs, gets irrationally annoyed that he’s half laughing, and then takes a deep breath. “Everything we need are in those bags. Yours and Emmi’s dresses and anything else are already at your dad’s house, and what’s not there is being finished by your sisters. I promise you, everything we need is packed away and you didn’t forget anything.”

Lara Jean nods, letting her shoulders relax and her head fall into Peter’s chest, taking a deep breath as she breathes in the laundry scent of his t-shirt. “We’re getting married tomorrow,” She mumbles, voice muffled by his his shirt.

He runs his fingers through her hair, then down her back. “We are,” He nods, chin resting on top of her head. “And if we don’t go get our acts together, we’re going to miss the rehearsal dinner.”

Lara Jean nods, forcing herself to pull away from his arms to lean up and kiss him, grabbing her duffel bag off the bed. “You have all of Emmi’s things?”

“They’re all by the door, too,” Peter calmly answers, kissing the top of her head when she walks by to grab the last of the things on the bed so they can leave. “All her stuff is in her bag so she can spend the night with you guys.”

After a few days of back and forth and debates Peter decided that Emmi should spend the night before the wedding with all of the girls at the Covey house. She had mostly recovered from her illness, just a little ear infection left and the virus all but gone, and while Peter still worried that maybe it would come back and he wouldn’t be there to comfort her, he wanted Emmi to experience the night before the wedding with the girls she’d walk down the aisle with.

Lara Jean was more than for it, although she did ask Peter a million times if he was okay with it. It was his last night as a single parent to Emmi before they got married, and Lara Jean knew he was a sentimentalist. So if he wanted to spend one final night curled up in his childhood room with his little girl before the wedding, Lara Jean wasn’t going to deny him of that.

He agreed with Lara Jean though, and when Emmi was given the option she immediately chose staying with the girls.

“Do you have my medicine?” Emmi asks, pulling her backpack onto her arms and slipping her feet into her sandals when she sees Peter and Lara Jean walk back into the living room. “I don’t want to forget it and be sick for the wedding.”

“It’s in your bag, babe,” Peter smiles, picking up his own duffel bag from the ground as he grabs his keys. “Lara Jean will give it to you tonight before you go to bed, okay? And then you won’t be sick for the wedding.”

Emmi nods. “I don't want to be sick for it,” She smiles, sneaking underneath Peter's arm and down the hall, racing down to the car just ahead of Peter and Lara Jean.

Once the trunk is packed and Emmi is safely in her seat Peter climbs into the drivers seat, reaching over and taking Lara Jean’s hand in his.

“Let’s go get married.”

_______________________________

Setting up for the wedding is everything Lara Jean had prepared herself for when reading blogs online.

They arrive at her dad’s house as the people are setting up the tent, organized chaos happening in the backyard. Lara Jean watches from the doorway, thanking Trina when she hands her a glass of champagne. “It’s never too early to start celebrating,” She says, and then turns back to where Emmi is sitting on the couch with Margot drinking apple juice out of a plastic champagne cup Trina bought at the dollar store to help make her feel included.

Mina arrives just before early evening to help with setting up the aisle and the seating for the ceremony, talking with the caterers and the organizers about cocktail hour and how they’ll change the aisle to a dance floor while Lara Jean and Peter are taking pictures. Lara Jean tries to help, but Mina just shoos her away with a smile on her face. “It’s the night before your wedding!” She argues, clipboard in hand. “Let me take care of things so you can just enjoy it.”

It’s a lot to take in, Lara Jean feels a little bit like her head is going to explode and a little bit like maybe it would just be easier to just have the ceremony right that second in front of her family and Peter’s family since they’re already legally married after getting the papers at the courthouse, but then she stops herself.  
Because there really isn’t anything more that she wants to do than to slip on the dress she has been dreaming about wearing again and celebrate marrying her best friend with all of their friends and family.

Peter comes up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist as they stand on the edge of the patio and watch the tables be set up and the candles begin to line the rows of chairs down the aisle.

“Insane that this is all happening, right?” He mumbles. Lara Jean can feel his voice vibrate against her head, raspy and quiet as she pulls herself closer. “We’re watching them set up our wedding.”

“I feel like we should be helping,” Lara Jean mumbles, resting her hands on top of his. “But I think we would just be in the way.”

“We definitely would be,” Peter laughs, lips pressing to the top of her head. “Kitty took Emmi to go paint her nails since she couldn’t go with you earlier this week when she was sick, and I told Em you’d be up to hang out with her.”

Lara Jean nods, twisting in Peter’s arms so she’s facing him. “I’m going to go hang out with her then,” She says, leaning up on her tip toes to kiss him before she slips out of his grasp, disappearing through the back door as Peter watches her, smiling.

—

Lara jean lays on Kitty’s bed while Kitty and Emmi sit on the floor, Emmi holding her hands still while Kitty paints them. They can hear things being set up outside, Lara Jean’s phone goes off sporadically with last minute design decisions from Mina and questions about the rehearsal from her bridesmaids, but overall Lara Jean doesn’t feel nearly as stressed out as she thought she would amidst the chaos.

“Do you like my nails, Mom?” Emmi asks, reaching her free hand out to show Lara Jean. Emmi chose a light blue, one that was as close to the bridesmaids dresses as Lara Jean could find, and as she stares at it she finds that she loves it even more.

“I love them,” Lara Jean smiles, holding out her own hand for Emmi to see. “Now we get to have the wedding with pretty nails!”

Emmi smiles, nodding as she coughs into her arm, her attention shifting back to Kitty. “Are you almost done?”

“One more finger,” Kitty mumbles, glancing up. “Why? You okay?”

“Yeah,” Emmi nods, holding her hands till as she leans forward to watch Kitty paint the last of her nails. “Just want them to dry.”

She waits impatiently while they finish drying, then when Lara Jean gives the okay, pushes herself up to stand. “I’m going to go show Aunt Margot and Daddy,” She says, taking off out the door and down the hall before Lara Jean can stop her.

“She excited about the wedding?” Kitty asks, capping the nail polish and cleaning up the paper towels and old magazine they were using at the table.

“I think so,” Lara Jean sighs, sitting up and pulling her hair up into a bun. “I don’t think she really realizes it's tomorrow.”

“She will when we have the rehearsal in a few hours.”

Lara Jean nods, following Kitty downstairs to get a snack before they start getting ready for the rehearsal and the dinner after, everything finally beginning to feel more real.

_______________________________

The rehearsal is about as chaotic as Peter and Lara Jean envisioned. The wedding party are all piled into the backyard, Emmi is doing a surprisingly good job at following directions, but it’s still a mess and there’s a lot of moving parts and Lara Jean wonders how they’re going to make this work the following day when actual people are there.

“Let’s have Emmi stand with Peter since she’s his daughter,” Mina says after a moment, surveying the bridal party standing at the alter after they practiced walking down the aisle.

Emmi moves to stand in front of Peter, turning back and looking up at him. “So I stand in front of you instead of Aunt Kitty?”

“Right,” Peter nods, smoothing his hand over her braids as he smiles. “After you throw the flowers, then you come stand with me. And then when the ceremony starts you’ll stand back here with Uncle Owen.”

Emmi nods, leaning back against Peter’s legs as Lara Jean practices walking down the aisle with her dad, Owen grabbing Emmi so Peter could do his part.

By the time they run through the ceremony a few times and everyone promises that they know what they’re supposed to do Lara Jean feels sightly better about it all, coordinating a few final things with Mina while Peter gets Emmi in the car to go to dinner with everyone.

They’re seated in a back room at the restaurant after the rehearsal, the room bustling with laughter and stories and celebrations with their wedding party and their families. Lara Jean holds Emmi’s hand as they walk in, smiling and saying hello to everyone properly before taking her seat beside Peter at the table with the rest of their friends.

They talk about the wedding over dinner, mostly discussing how Lara Jean and Peter can’t believe it’s finally here. “I don’t really think much is going to change after we get married, though,” Lara Jean says softly, taking a bite of her salad. “We already live together, it’s not like it’s going to be that noticeable.”

“Maybe not,” Chris smiles. “But I’m willing to bet that Peter will be insanely obnoxious about calling you his wife at all times.”

“Oh, you know it,” Peter smirks, arm draping over the back of Lara Jean’s chair. “I’m going to walk everywhere and make sure they all know that she’s my wife.”

Chris rolls her eyes, laughing as she looks back at Peter. “Knew it. Kavinsky just can’t resist a good opportunity to brag.”

The dinner turns into reminiscing about high school, which Mark, Jake, Jenna and Zoe enjoy hearing about a side to Peter and Lara Jean that both had desperately tried to bury.

“You really went that fake dating route, didn’t you Kavinsky?” Mark laughs, shaking his head. “Gotta say, you didn’t strike me as the type to be like that, but I admire your determination.”

“I really thought we could just keep it strictly based on the contract,” He shrugs, but when Lara Jean looks up at him he’s blushing and shaking his head and she knows that he doesn’t hate this light teasing, but it’s not exactly what he thought he’d be discussing at his wedding rehearsal dinner less than 24 hours before he’s marrying his best friend. “Clearly we couldn’t though.”

They finish up dinner, slowly standing up and making their way back outside to their cars, getting ready to go their ways for the night. Peter and his groomsmen were spending the night at his mom's house, while Lara Jean and her bridesmaids were spending the night at her dad’s house to get ready for the wedding the final day.

Lara Jean was a traditionalist, insisting that they spend the night before the wedding apart. “I don't want to bring bad luck to this wedding or anything,” She argued, and while Peter thinks it’s a little bit ridiculous because they’re already living together, he agreed to it because he knows it’s important to Lara Jean.

They linger out by the car in the parking lot, Emmi resting her head on Peter’s shoulder. “Her medicine is in the front of her bag. She’ll probably fall asleep on the drive home, but just make sure she takes it.”

“Peter,” Lara Jean smiles, reaching out to take Peter’s free hand.

He grabs her hand, smiling. “I know, I know. I’m being paranoid.” He turns back to the car, opening the back door and slowly lowering Emmi into her sleep. “You sure you want to spend the night with Mama and the girls? I’m going to be at Grandma’s.”

Emmi nods, rubbing her eyes and yawning as she looks up at her dad. “Want to stay with her,” She whispers, leaning forward in her seat to hug Peter. “I love you, Daddy. See you tomorrow.”

Peter smiles, squeezing Emmi against his chest. “See you tomorrow, sweet girl. Love you forever and ever.”

Emmi smiles, leaning back and kissing him before he buckles her in, leaving one last kiss on her forehead.

And when he shuts the door and turns back Lara Jean is still standing there, a smile on her face. “I love you.”

“Good thing,” Peter smirks, reaching out for her hand. “Because we _are_ getting married tomorrow.”

Lara Jean laughs, leaning up to kiss him softly. “Next time I see you we’re going to be getting married,” She whispers, and her heart pounds in her chest and she feels a little lightheaded because the day is finally here, she’s finally marrying her best friend.

“We will,” Peter nods. “And I’ll probably be a mess watching you walk down the aisle.”

Lara Jean laughs, hugging him tightly before she pulls back and kisses him again. “I love you. See you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow,” Peter smiles, his hand squeezing her hip as he kisses her once more, just for good measure. “Love you.”

He watches Lara Jean climb into the drivers seat and pull out of the parking lot before walking back over to Owen’s car, climbing in the passenger seat.

“Let’s go celebrate my final night before I’m married,” Peter says to his little brother, and every feeling he had been masking from nervous to ridiculously excited creeps up on him all at once, bringing a smile to his face.

_______________________________

Mrs. Kavinsky leaves the boys be once they’re settled into the guest room, Owen’s room, and Peter’s room.

“I’ll be in my room if you need anything,” She says, sending a quick goodnight to all the boys before she disappears down the hall.

Peter passes out beers to everyone, where they spent their time talking and watching sports while sitting in the living room. Peter’s checked his phone more than a few times, thought about texting Lara Jean, and then stops himself. He thinks it’s probably part of the tradition to not talk to each other before the wedding either.

“So, did you write your little note out to Lara Jean?” Gabe ask.

Peter nods, smiling. “Emmi wrote her one too. They’re in my bag. Her dad is going to stop by in the morning and pick them up so he can give them to her,” He says, leaning back against the back cushion and smiling.

“Do you think Em is loving being with all the girls?” Mark smiles.

“Oh, definitely,” Peter smiles. “All she kept asking this week was if she’d still be allowed to stay with them even if she was sick. I think she’s been dying to have some girl time away from me for a little.”  
The conversation dies down a little, shifting towards each other’s lives and summer plans and a little teasing about the upcoming honeymoon for Peter and Lara Jean, and eventually they decide to go to bed, saying their goodnights to each other.

Peter finds that he feels anxious, lingering back in the kitchen for a little before stepping out onto the back patio, desperate for some air.

The door open and shuts behind him, and when Ravi appears Peter almost feels a little bit of relief, like maybe being alone with his thoughts isn’t the best option after all.

“Nervous about tomorrow?” Ravi smiles, sitting down in the chair beside Peter.

“I don’t think nervous is the right way to word it,” Peter shrugs, taking a sip of his water. “I guess just more… excited.”

Ravi nods, smiling. “I was the same way the night before I married Margot.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Ravi shrugs. “I think it’s natural. To be a little excited about the thought of marrying your best friend, even if the thought of doing it in front of everyone is kind of intimidating,” He smiles. “And I know I haven’t known you all that long, but from what I’ve heard from Margot, you and LJ were kind of destined to be together.”

Peter shrugs, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “I mean, we did find our ways back to each other,” He agrees, but he still feels a little silly admitting it. “I wish I wouldn’t have messed things up when we were in college. Maybe things would be different now.”

“Maybe,” Ravi agrees, “but then maybe you wouldn’t have Emmi.”

And for everything that Peter wishes he didn’t have to experience without Lara Jean, he can’t imagine his life without Emmi now.

“Peter, I’m a big believe in everything happens for a reason. And yeah, maybe you and Lara Jean could’ve worked things out in college. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that you would be here right now marrying her. Or maybe things could’ve worked out with Emmi’s mom, and you would’ve never found Lara Jean in this way again.”

Peter nods, sinking down into the chair.

“But fate brought the two of you back together. And tomorrow you’re going to see her and every little thing you’re worrying about right now will melt away, I guarantee it. I don't think I’ll ever forget seeing Margot walking down the aisle with her dad, and you won’t forget Lara Jean walking down either. And for everything that you think could happen tonight, I promise you you won’t remember any of it tomorrow. Just try to soak it all in. Remember every little moment and every perfect thing that is going to come out of it.”

“Thanks,” Peter says quietly, looking over at Ravi for the first time. “That somehow made me feel a lot better about it all. About not feeling so worried about things I can’t control anymore.”

Ravi nods, finishing the last of his water. “It was the best advice I got from my brother on my wedding day,” He smiles. “I’m going to go to bed,” He says, standing up. “Thanks for letting me stay with you tonight even though I’m not in the wedding. You really didn’t have to do that.”

“You shouldn’t stay in a hotel,” Peter smiles, standing up and following him back into the house. “Besides, I feel a lot better having you here knowing you’ve been through all this. And you’re going to be family tomorrow.”

Ravi laughs, clapping Peter on the back as they walk back down the hall. “I will be,” He agrees, putting his glass in the sink and moving back down the hall towards the guest bedroom.

Peter climbs over Gabe sleeping on an air mattress on his floor, falling into his bed. He checks his phone one final time, doesn’t find a text from Lara Jean, and then sets an alarm on his phone for the following day.

He falls asleep feeling a lot better that night, the anxiety of marrying Lara Jean all but dissipated. And while he knows that things can go wrong, there’s bound to be some hiccups, all that matters is that tomorrow he and his best friend will be standing at the end of that aisle finally getting married, and that’s all he cares about.

Tomorrow he finally marries his best friend.

_______________________________

Dr. Covey spends the night at a hotel.

Lara Jean insisted he didn’t have to, that they’d be going to bed early and most of Saturday would be taken up by getting their hair and makeup done, but he just held his hand up, shaking his head.

“I’m not going to be in the way of your big day,” He insisted. “I’ll be back in the morning to grab whatever you want me to give to Peter tomorrow morning, and then I’ll be out of your hair until just before the wedding.”

Lara Jean nodded, hugged him and thanked him for everything, and then stood in the living room while he grabbed his overnight bag and walked out the door, leaving Trina home with the girls.

“Mama, where am I gonna sleep?” Emmi asks, breaking Lara Jean out of her trance when she turns to look at the 6 year old standing in front of her.

“You and I are going to share my old room,” Lara Jean beams, sticking her hand out for Emmi to take as they walk upstairs to get changed into their pajamas.

The girls stay up for a while, sitting in the living room talking about the following day. Lara Jean finds that she feels oddly calm, not at all nervous about the fact that tomorrow there will be people here and they’ll all be watching her stand at the alter to marry her best friend.

“I just can’t wait to see you in your dress and Emmi in hers, it’s going to be so cute,” Margot smiles, looking between both girls. “Are you excited, Em?”

Emmi nods, crawling up into Lara Jean’s lap and laying back against her chest. “I’m so excited,” She mumbles, and as the minutes tick by and the night grows quieter each girl moves to go to bed, ready to get up early and start the celebration.

Lara Jean sits Emmi on the counter, pouring a glass of water and grabbing her medicine from the bag she left downstairs. “I know you hate it, but real quick and then we can go to bed,” She bribes, handing the cup to Emmi. Emmi whines but downs it immediately, reaching out for the water and taking a quick sip. “Good job, peanut,” Lara Jean smiles, tossing the cup into the trash and moving to stand back in front of Emmi.

“You’re a natural,” Trina whispers in Lara Jean’s ear on her way by from cleaning up the kitchen for the night, flashing Lara Jean a smile before she says goodnight to both girls.

Lara Jean gets Emmi into bed, tucking her in and kissing her head. “You have to go to sleep so you’ll be ready for tomorrow,” She smiles, smoothing her hair back onto the pillow.

“You’ll come sleep in here soon?”

Lara Jean nods, smiling. “I’m just going to get something to drink,” She promises, and when Emmi seems satisfied with that answer and wiggles further underneath the blankets Lara Jean kisses her forehead once more, shutting out the light and disappearing back downstairs for a moment.

Margot is standing in the kitchen when she gets down there, making herself a cup of tea. “Can’t sleep,” She smiles, wordlessly pulling out another mug for Lara Jean and fixing her a cup of tea as well. “You excited for tomorrow?”

Lara Jean nods, thanking her quietly as she takes a sip of her tea. “I really thought I was going to be more nervous than I am.”

“You have no reason to be nervous,” Margot smiles, sliding into a seat at the island beside her little sister. “It’s a fairly small wedding and everyone coming loves the two of you more than we can describe. Everything is going to go perfect.”

Lara Jean chooses to believe that, mostly because it’s late and she knows that whatever it looks like now is how it’s going to look for their wedding. She turns back, glancing outside to the tent and the rows of chairs that form the aisle for the ceremony, the decorations illuminated by the bright moon above them.

“I just can’t believe it’s finally here,” She whispers, turning back to her sister. “I feel like we’ve been planning this for years, and now I’m really marrying Peter.”

“I felt the same way with Ravi,” Margot smiles, pausing. “But he and I weren’t childhood friends. It kind of makes it all a little more romantic, huh?”

Lara Jean nods, letting the silence fall over the two of them for a moment. “I really wish mom were here.”

It’s not something that’s crossed Lara Jean’s mind all that often while wedding planning. She felt guilty about it for a while, like maybe she should want her there more when they’re planning something as big as this. But the ache that was constant in her heart about missing her mom didn’t get any bigger when it came to the wedding up until now, where she finds herself sitting with her sister pushing back tears.

Margot frowns, nodding as she leans her elbows on the counter. “I wish she were too,” She admits quietly. “But she would’ve been really proud of you. And she would’ve loved Peter.”

Lara Jean laughs at that, nodding. “She would’ve,” She agrees quietly, letting herself think about her mom loving Emmi almost as much.

“I missed her at my wedding, too, but she’s not all that far, Lara Jean,” Margot reminds her. “We’ve got Korean ties to have her there. And I bet she’s watching.”

Lara Jean nods, leans her head on her sister’s shoulder, and after a few minutes have passed she takes a deep breath. “I’m really getting married tomorrow.”

“You are,” Margot nods, lifting her head from Lara Jean’s and squeezing her against her side. “And now that it’s far too late, you and I should be getting to bed. Big day tomorrow!” She smiles, taking both of their mugs to put in the sink, reaching out for her sister’s hand like she did when they were little to lead her up the stairs.

Lara Jean quietly creeps around her room, sliding into bed beside Emmi and grabbing her phone from the nightstand table, sneaking a quick, dark photo of Emmi curled up against her as they get ready to go to bed.

_Our little peanut and I can’t wait to see you tomorrow. Can’t wait to call you my husband :) love you <3_

She sets an alarm, putting her phone back on the nightstand and curling up beside Emmi, leaving a soft kiss on her forehead.

For everything that had stressed her out when it came to planning this wedding, she couldn’t believe the day was finally here.

Tomorrow she marries her best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> posted a little earlier today than normal :)
> 
> only one more chapter and it's the weddinggg!! i only have a little part of it written so far, but i have a feeling it's going to be long so i'm going to do my best to have it up by tuesday, but it may take a little longer :) it will definitely be up sometime next week though!
> 
> thank you guys for reading/leaving comments/kudos! i'm so glad you love this little universe as much as i love writing in it! :)
> 
> have a good holiday weekend if you celebrate!!
> 
> title of the chapter is from Tenerife Sea by Ed Sheeran


	18. it's a good day for marrying you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> let's have a wedding!
> 
> \--
> 
> aka 7k+ words of the wedding we've all been waiting for because i have no control and i couldn't bear to cut anything

Peter can remember the first time he met Lara Jean.

They were in third grade, her hair was in pigtails, and they were sat at the same table in Mr. Woods’ class.

They quickly became friends, laughing and teasing each other during lessons, only getting in trouble a handful of times. Peter remembers the way he’d show her the jokes on his candy wrappers during snack time and how she’d cover her mouth with her hands, laughing until her cheeks were red and her eyes were squeezed shut. Or how she would share her goldfish with him when he would stare at them longingly from across the table, her fingers holding the bag out for him to grab a handful.

They became closer in middle school, hanging out in John Ambrose McClaren’s treehouse with Chris and Gen and a bunch of other friends. They talked about everything, played assassin and a million other games together, and when the summer nights would draw to a close, they’d camp out in the backyard with everyone under the stars, laughing until their sides hurt and the sun started creeping up behind the trees at the end of their street.

If someone told Peter he’d be marrying Lara Jean Song-Covey when he was in seventh grade, he would’ve laughed in their face. He probably would’ve blushed, shook his head until his curls were splayed in a million different directions, and shrugged them off.

If they were to tell him that in high school or the beginning of college? Then he probably would’ve believed that he was destined to be right here in this moment.

He’s been thinking a lot about the past the last few weeks. Not necessarily in a bad way, but in a way that has made Peter wonder what life would be like if he and Lara Jean hadn’t broken up junior year.

Emmi wouldn’t be here. Or maybe she would be, but she would be a different kid and not the product of he and Juliet. They’d probably be living in North Carolina because Peter knew how much she loved it down there. Raleigh isn’t all that far from UNC so she could’ve opened her baking business there and they could’ve had a cute apartment above a shop like in those romantic comedies she used to make him watch all the time.

He’s apologized a million times for those days. Moments where he didn’t know how to express how he was feeling. How he shut down and shut everyone out and got so _angry_ at her and everything and eventually it just became too much and she needed to end it.

She always brushes him off. Presses a kiss to his forehead and his nose and then his lips, and tells him that it’s in the past. That they’ve moved past it, he’s a different person, and whatever happened back then does not dictate right now.

So, as he sits at his desk he once remembers spending hours studying for the SAT with Lara Jean at he finishes off the letter he’s going to give her before the wedding, writing down every little moment and detail he never wants to forget them having together.

Like the day he walked into the bakery to buy Emmi a cookie to make up for the fact that she had been with Gabe more often than not those few weeks. And how they met up and talked for hours about their lives and none of it felt awkward or out of place or forced. It just felt… right. Like it was destined to happen in that moment.

He reads it over once, folding it and placing it in an envelope his mom had left for him, and goes to write one for Emmi. A much simpler one, but one he finds more difficult than Lara Jean’s.

Because as much as this was a huge day for he and Lara Jean, Emmi’s life was officially going to be changed. Lara Jean was going to become his wife, and the little team of the two of them was permanently changing to the three of them.

Emmi loved it, Peter knew. He didn’t worry about her adjusting, or her acting out or suddenly hating this. But after all those years of living in dingy apartments and spending more time apart than together at times, he wants Emmi to know that he’ll always love her more than anything, and this marriage doesn’t change that.

There’s a knock on his door, creaking open after a moment as Owen stands in the doorway, pajama shirt sleeves rolled over his hands. “Mom made pancakes for everyone,” He says softly. Peter nods, laughs as Owen nudges the air mattress Gabe was staying on, both of them smiling as it deflates slightly when Gabe rolls over.

“Heard you talk about food,” Gabe mumbles, stretching and sinking a little further into the ground. “Be there in a second.”

Owen’s gone without replying, Peter seals the envelopes, and when he turns to stand to go join his friends for breakfast, Gabe is standing there with a giant smile on his face.

“Happy wedding day, bro,” He says, and uncharacteristically he pulls Peter in for a hug, clapping his bag as he holds him tight for a moment.

Because today is the day Peter marries Lara Jean Song-Covey.

_______________________________

Dr. Covey arrives back a the house with a box of donuts and two notes stashed in his hand, a smile on his face.

“It's my daughter’s wedding day!” He sings, and Lara Jean can’t help but laugh, standing up to hug him as Kitty takes the donuts and brings them over to the counter. “I see Trina has made a huge breakfast. Guess you didn’t need those.”

“We always need donuts,” Kitty smirks, lifting Emmi up onto her hip as they peer into the box. “Right Em?”

“Right!” Emmi smiles, then twists around in Kitty’s arms. “Thank you Grandpa Dan.”

It’s a name he’s still getting used to, but Dan smiles all the same. “You’re welcome, sweetheart,” He says, and then he turns his attention back to his middle daughter.

“I went to Peter’s this morning and picked these up. Do you have yours for him?” He asks. Lara Jean nods, digging through her bag on the sofa before finding both envelopes she and Emmi wrote together a few nights before, handing them back to her dad. “I need to go deliver these.”

Lara Jean nods, hugging him again. “Thank you for letting us do all of this here, Daddy,” She says softly.

Dan squeezes her back, pressing his cheek against her hair before he leans back to kiss the top of her head. “Always, sweetheart,” He promises, squeezing her arm lightly. “Now, you need to go finish getting ready so we can have the best wedding in this house!”

Lara Jean nods, letting him leave the house once more after saying goodbye to everyone. She turns back to look at everyone in the living room of her childhood home, all wearing the matching robes she bought them as a wedding gift before walking over to where Emmi is now sat in front of Lara Jean’s hairdresser Taylor to get her hair done for the wedding.

“Em, sit nice and still for Taylor, okay? She’s going to braid your hair.”

“Like you braid it?” Emmi asks, staring at Lara Jean as she nods, sitting down in front of her with snacks on a plate for both of them.

And so they sit there, Lara Jean feeding Emmi grapes while she holds still, the two of them giggling about the scenario as Chris comes to join them.

“I’m guessing you’re going to say I can’t send a picture of this to Peter?” She asks, handing Lara Jean a glass of champagne. “Because this is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen, and I think Peter would die seeing it.”

Lara Jean smiles, feeding Emmi another grape and taking a sip of her champagne before she shakes her head. “I think it’s still bad luck to even send him pictures. But don’t worry, we have a million pictures to share with him when we’re all done with this,” She says, and reluctantly Chris agrees.

She takes pictures for good measure anyway, Lara Jean takes a few of Emmi, and when Taylor finishes her hair and sprays hairspray to hold the braid and her curls in place for the day, Lara Jean already feels like crying.

“I love it,” Emmi whispers, running her fingers lightly over the braid as she stares in the mirror. “It’s so pretty, isn’t it Mama?”

“It is,” Lara Jean agrees, situating Emmi on her hip and kissing her cheek, walking back into the kitchen so she can get her own hair and makeup done.

“You still have to read Peter’s letters,” Jenna smiles when Lara Jean starts getting her own hair done, a smile on her face. “Are you excited to see what he wrote in them?”

Lara Jean nods, leaning back in the chair. “I am, yeah. I’m just kind of waiting for the right moment. After I’m done my hair, I think. I’ll take Emmi for some alone time so we can read them together.”

Jenna smiles, smiling over a snack while she gets her own hair done by one of Taylor’s assistants, and the kitchen that had once been quiet and sluggish that morning is now bustling and full of excitement, and Lara Jean’s nerves are slowly starting to bubble up in the pit of her stomach like they once were before.

She wants to cry at her hair and makeup, simple like she wanted, but just fancy enough that it feels like her wedding day. She thanks Taylor a million times, standing up so she can move to work on a bridesmaids hair, and quietly Lara Jean grabs the letters off the coffee table and takes Emmi’s hand, leading her out to the front porch where they can get some fresh air and some privacy to read them together.

“You know how you and I wrote Daddy letters for him to read? Well, he wrote you one, too,” Lara Jean smiles, sitting Emmi just beside her on the swings with her own letter in her hands. “Want to read yours together?”

Emmi nods, opening her envelope and unfolding the letter, smiling at the drawings of dogs and people he put at the bottom of the page just like she’s always loved.

Lara Jean’s aware of the photographer capturing the moment for them, silently grateful as Emmi moves back up to the top of the page, slowly starting to read out loud.

_My baby Emmi,_

_The first time I held you in my arms I already loved you more than anything I had ever loved before. You were so tiny that you almost fit in one of my hands, and I didn’t want to ever let you go in case you got hurt or you needed me and I wasn’t there._

_I know we haven’t had the easiest time all the time. I know that sometimes things are sad and it makes you angry and you don’t always know how to tell me that. I know that you’ve had some bad things happen, but I want you to know that I am always going to be there. No matter what happens, anything else you through I am going to be right there by your side, ready to help you or cheer you on whenever you need it._

_A lot of things are changing today. I’m going to marry Lara Jean and she’s going to adopt you in a few weeks, but no matter what, you are always the most important thing in my life. You changed me, kiddo. You made me a better person, you’re the one who made me a dad, and I love you more than I can ever tell you. I know I tell you that all the time, but it’s so true, Emmi. Because you’ve made me this person that I didn’t think I could be, and I love you so much._

_I think maybe one day when you’re not 6 and you’re much older you’ll understand a lot more why I love you the way that I do and why I’m so grateful that I get to be your daddy, but for right now I’m just going to keep telling you. Even when you laugh and try to push me away and tell me that you get it, I’m going to be right there reminding you that I love you so much and you’re my favorite person in the whole entire world._

_I can’t wait to see you in your dress and how beautiful you look today, and we’re going to party all night and dance together, and you’re going to be so happy that I’m probably going to think my heart is going to burst seeing you like this. It’s all I wanted for you, Em. I want you to be so happy that you smile all the time and you see how much we love you._

_I love you to the moon and back and back again. And forever and ever._

_Daddy_

Lara Jean feels her bottom lip wobbling, biting on the corner until she manages to contain her emotions as Emmi leans against her arm, reading the letter over in her own mind again.

"That was so nice of him, wasn’t it, baby?” Lara Jean asks softly, pressing a kiss to the top of Emmi’s head.

Emmi nods, folding the letter back and turning to Lara Jean. “Can I go put it in my bag upstairs?” She asks quietly.

“Of course you can,” Lara Jean nods, “But I actually have a note for you too,” She says, pulling the note from her side and handing it to her.

Emmi settles back onto the cushion, opening it and laughing at the animal stickers stuck to the top of the page before she begins reading.

_Emmi,_

_I am so happy that today I get to marry your dad and become your mom!_

_Thank you for being the flower girl for us. I know you’re so excited to wear a dress that looks like mine and hang out with us all night, but I don't think you get how happy your dad and I are to have you a part of our special day._

_From the very first day I met you I knew we were going to be best friends. Spending time with you is my favorite thing ever, and I can’t wait to be right there as you grow up and learn and become the best kiddo in the entire world (even though you already are the best kid ever). I know we’re going to go on a million adventures together and laugh and tease each other, but I hope you always want to come help me at the bakery and you always want to try all my new baked goods to tell me if they’re good or not._

_I love you forever and ever, Emmi bear. I can’t wait to dance with you all night and have the best time ever._

_Love,_

_Lara Jean (Mama)_

Lara Jean watches as Emmi reads through the note slowly, slightly startled when Emmi jumps into her arms, squeezing her tightly. “I love you, Mama.”

“I love you too, peanut,” Lara Jean whispers, kissing Emmi’s cheek once more. “And you know how excited I am to be your mama, right?” She says, mostly for good measure.

Emmi nods, hugging her again and smiling. “I’m really excited you’re going to be my mom,” She says softly, and then she kisses her cheek again, a toothless smile staring back at Lara Jean.

She savors the moment again, taking a minute to memorize the way Emmi looks sitting in front of her, and then she pats her back carefully with a smile on her face. “Now, go put that note in your bag and go get one more snack before we put your dress on.”

Emmi nods, slipping back in the front door. Lara Jean is left alone (minus the photographer, who has stayed so out of the way that Lara Jean barely realizes she’s even there), and quietly she unfolds Emmi’s letter first, tucking Peter’s just under her leg so it won’t blow away.

_Dear Mama,_

_You and Daddy are getting married today! I’m so excited to be in the wedding and be the flower girl and stay up late with you guys._

_Thank you for being the best mom ever for me. Thank you for letting me help you at the bakery and always giving me treats even when Daddy sometimes says no. And thank you for letting me watch movies and eat popcorn past my bedtime sometimes._

_I love you so so so much!_

_Love,_  
_Emmi_

The letter is unmistakably Emmi’s handwriting, but all the words are spelled right and Lara Jean laughs at the wording, knowing that it was Peter helping her write it all. She reads it over a few times, feels her heart swell and the emotions take over, but she manages to stop herself from crying as she carefully folds the letter back up, tucking it back into the envelope and moving onto Peter’s.

She notices her hands shaking as she fumbles with the envelope, unfolding the letter and staring at his messy handwriting for a moment before forcing herself to read. Around her the birds chirp and the sun shines and if she listens she can hear them setting up the last of chairs for the ceremony, but her mind can only focus on the letter in her hands resting on her lap.

_Covey,_

_I felt like it was a little bit appropriate to start the letter off with the name I’ve been calling you since we were 12, isn’t it?_

_Today we’re getting married. I’ve said it a million times in my mind, I’m pretty sure I’ve said it out loud to you every single moment I’m thinking it, but it’s kind of hard to believe. If you would’ve told seventh grade Peter (and probably Lara Jean) that he was going to be marrying the girl he had his first kiss with, he probably would’ve died laughing._

_But between you and me (and every single person coming to celebrate today), I’m really glad it is you that I'm marrying. Even if it took a fake dating scheme, a breakup, and years apart before we found each other again._

_Thank you for being back in my life. For loving me without a second thought, for listening to me through all my worries and rants and fears that I have over being a single dad. For being patient with me, reassuring me when I needed it more than anything in the world. For being that person that isn’t afraid to tell me how it is, but who also reassures me that with time this will all get easier._

_I didn’t think it was possible to have someone who was so patient and understood that I wouldn’t just be ready to let you take care of Emmi right away. But you got it. And you let me take the time I needed to figure out how to let someone I care so much about care for the person I care the most about._

_Thank you for loving Emmi the way that you do. For holding her when she’s hurt or sick, for putting her to bed or bringing her to work or telling her funny stories when you can tell that I need a break. For meeting her and taking the time to get to know her as a person, not just as an extension of me. I don’t think I can ever thank you enough for any of this. For loving Emmi so hard that I no longer feel afraid to have someone be with her without something happening. For taking care of her on days where I need a little help._

_I know that no matter what happens today, you and I are getting married. And I’m probably going to cry watching you walk down the aisle, and you’re definitely going to look the most gorgeous you have ever looked, and somehow all of it is going to feel perfect._

_Thank you for giving me a chance again. For taking the leap with me, for loving me without a second thought in your mind. For helping me get over the past and starting fresh with this relationship. For being Emmi’s mom. For everything._

_I love you more than words could ever express. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life reminding you of that. And having more kids, and going on adventures, and loving you more every day that sometimes it doesn’t feel possible for life to get any better._

_Yours forever (and ever),_

_Peter Kavinsky_

Lara Jean’s crying now, tears running down her face. She’s praying the makeup is waterproof, that she isn’t ruining everything Taylor did, and then folds the envelope just as the front door opens and Kitty and Margot appear, more champagne in hand and smiles on their faces.

“His letter was that good?” Margot asks, sitting down on one side while Kitty sits on the other. Margot gently wipes Lara Jean’s cheeks, thumbs dabbing at her skin so they don’t mess up her makeup.

“It was so good. And his letter to Emmi almost made me cry, too. Which means I’m going to cry a lot later, aren’t I?” She smiles, to which Margot just nods, the three of them leaning back against the swing, looking out onto their quiet street.

“We were coming out to tell you that we need to get our dresses on and Emmi needs your help. But let’s just sit here for a minute,” Kitty says softly.

Lara Jean agrees, taking both of her sister’s hands and squeezing. She wants to live in this moment forever. Where the breeze blows across their faces and the warm beginning of Summer air sticks t their skin, and everything feels okay.

“I’m getting married in an hour,” Lara Jean whispers, noticing the caterers bringing things from the driveway to the backyard and her dad arrive back with his suit in hand, directing the people on where to go.

“You are,” Margot whispers, squeezing Lara Jean’s hand. “Which means we should probably go finish getting ready, right?”

Lara Jean nods, but the three Covey sisters sit there for a few minutes longer, savoring these last few moments together.

But eventually they do get up, making their way back into the house. Lara Jean takes Emmi’s hand and leads her back up to her bedroom, where their dresses are hanging and the photographer had already taken a million photos Lara Jean is going to love, and quietly they slip on Emmi’s dress, fixing her hair carefully.

“Emmi,” Lara Jean mumbles, smoothing out the hem of the dress and smiling. “Baby, you look gorgeous. You’re definitely going to make your dad cry.”

She helps Emmi slip on her shoes and nudges her towards the full-length mirror, where Emmi twirls in her dress and smiles, staring at herself. “I love it, Mom.”

“I love it, too,” Lara Jean agrees, and as she pulls off her own robe and slips into her dress, all her bridesmaids and Trina come in, Margot helping her zip up the back of her dress.

“Lara Jean, you look gorgeous,” Zoe says quietly, the rest of the girls agreeing.

“Can you guys give us a few minutes alone with Lara Jean?” Kitty asks softly, and Trina takes Emmi’s hand to lead them out the door for a minute.

“When Kitty and I were thinking about something special to give you for today, we knew there was only one thing,” Margot says. She reaches out for Kitty’s hands, holding a necklace in front of her. “This was Mom’s necklace that I wore on my wedding day. And I know that it’s going to look gorgeous on your for your wedding day.”

Lara Jean turns around, letting Margot fasten the clip on the back of her neck before she looks at herself in the mirror. It’s a dainty necklace, a small gold chain with a small pendant that her mom wore all the time when she was younger. It was from Korea, and Lara Jean can remember asking her mom a million questions about it when she was little and would sit beside her on the sofa.

Now she was wearing it on her wedding day, and while her mom wasn’t there physically, it felt like she was there now with the necklace on her neck.

“Thank you,” Lara Jean whispers, hugging both of her sisters. “And thank you for doing all of this.”

“We always will,” Kitty smiles, pulling both of her sisters in for a group hug. “Covey sisters forever, right?”

“Absolutely,” Margot smiles. “And when you’re getting married, we’re going to do all of this for you, too.”

Kitty rolls her eyes, smiling and savoring the last moment with her sisters before the wedding.

Lara Jean takes one last look at herself in the mirror, smoothing out the pendant and running her hand down her dress. And then she turns back to her sisters, smiling and desperately trying not to start crying before the wedding even begins.

“Let’s go get married.”

_______________________________

Peter finds that there’s a lot of time between the whole getting ready and going to the ceremony.

He goes for a run, takes an obscene amount of time in the shower to clear his mind, and then eats lunch with his groomsmen while they hang out together before they need to start getting ready.

His mom has mostly stayed out of the way, heading over to Lara Jean’s for a while to help Trina with last minute decorations and then stopping by the store to check on a few things which means Peter can’t even have her help him stop freaking out, so when Dr. Covey stops by with the notes from Emmi he’s grateful for them, excusing himself from the conversation in the living room and disappearing out to the back patio for some fresh air and alone time.

He looks at both of them, animal stickers stuck to the front of Emmi’s envelope and Lara Jean’s envelope written with that perfect scroll handwriting she’s always seemed to have.

He picks up Emmi's first, carefully tearing the top of the envelope so he doesn’t ruin the handwriting and stickers on the front, feeling oddly sentimental and wanting to keep it all. The paper is the same paper Peter remembers tucked into Lara Jean’s bedside table, drawings down the bottom of the page courtesy of the 6 year old who he was pretty sure was perfect.

_Dear Daddy,_

_I am so happy that you and Lara Jean are getting married today. You are my favorite person ever and she’s my other favorite person and I can’t wait to live with you guys forever and have you both be my mommy and daddy._

_Thank you for helping me with my homework and teaching me to draw puppies and flowers and for always making me laugh when I’m sad. And thanks for kissing my scratches from riding my bike and for taking me to the park all the time and teaching me how to play soccer and baseball and lacrosse even though I don’t really like it._

_I can’t wait to dance with you forever and ever and always lay with you and watch movies. Even if Mama is there now._

_I love you Daddy forever and ever and ever and all the way to the moon and back! :)_

_Love,_  
_Emmi_

Peter smiles, reading the letter in messy first grade handwriting over and over until the letters blur and he’s in danger of getting tears on the page, and then he tucks the note back in the envelope, planning to keep it until he’s old and grey and the memories of Emmi when she was a little girl are all but distant in his mind.

Emmi was without a doubt the best thing to ever happen to him. He thinks about it a lot, often on nights where sleep is a struggle and the apartment is quiet. Lara Jean being back in his life is amazing, he thanks whoever put that back together in the universe nightly, but without Emmi he doesn’t know where he would be, or the person he would be at this moment in time.

She makes him the happiest he’s ever been, and the fact that she’s so on board with the wedding and she loves Lara Jean almost more than he does is enough to know that everything in Peter’s life was finally beginning to work out, even if it took heartbreak and a million twists and turns to get there.

He notices his fingers shaking when he opens Lara Jean’s letter, her perfect handwriting floating across the lines on the page. She had always had this handwriting that was straight out of a book. Perfectly legible, always consistent, and not at all like his handwriting looks on the letter he wrote to her.

He takes a deep breath, focusing back on the top of the page for a moment before beginning to read.

_Dear Peter,_

_Oddly enough, I feel like I’m starting one of those love letters I wrote in seventh grade. Only this one is for real, and you’re intended to see it because it’s our wedding day. We’re getting married today and that means we’re going to spend the rest of our lives together laughing and making memories and getting through everything that’s hard, and I can’t wait._

_I’ve always been a sucker for fairytales and true love, but you know that. So you know that the way we got back together maybe wasn’t the most ideal. I always thought you and I would stay together forever, or we’d break up and never see each other again. But I’m glad we did find each other again, even if it was too long and I needed you sooner than the universe was ready for us to reconnect._

_Thank you for letting me in. For giving me the chance to love you again, to fix things that have happened in the past so that we could be together now. For letting me be a mom to Emmi, and for trusting me to take care of her when I know that you need a break. I know it hasn’t been easy letting me in, I know it’s hard to trust me sometimes with Emmi, but I’m so glad you’ve given me that chance to prove to you that it’ll be okay, that I am always going to be there for her no matter what she needs._

_When I used to think about the future and I thought about you and I together, I used to think about what you’d be like with kids. I know Emmi isn’t biologically mine, that I didn’t get to see you raise her from the beginning, but watching you with her daily is my favorite thing. I love watching from afar when you don’t realize as the two of you work on homework or read stories or make dinner. And for so long it was just the two of you against everyone, and I can see so much of that when I just watch and smile at how much you love her._

_It’s evident she’s your favorite thing in the world, and she’s quickly becoming mine. I could watch you be a dad for hours, the way you care for her and make her laugh, and I can’t wait for the future when I watch you raise the kids we have together._

_Today is the beginning of the rest of our lives, and while you and I have been together more than we haven’t, today feels different. After today I get to call you my husband (and I will to everyone who even looks in our direction), and that means it’s the beginning of a new stage of life for us. One that’s uncertain and I’m sure will bring a lot of twists and turns, but we’ll be together._

_I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. Going on adventures, laughing at dumb jokes, making a million memories with Emmi and each other and any future children. I’m so glad it’s you I’m marrying, and while today is going to be filled with celebrating (and probably tears on my end), marrying you is all I care about. And I can’t wait to meet you at the alter and say our vows and love each other even more than we ever thought possible._

_Today is finally the day I can call you my husband._

_Love you forever,_

_Lara Jean_

Peter smiles, finds himself fully crying, and when the back door opens and Owen is standing there smiling he doesn’t even try to hide it. “We’re getting ready,” He says quietly, but he sits down on the sofa next to his older brother and smiles. “And you’re already getting emotional. Are you ready for the rest of the day?”

“Nope,” Peter says, laughing as he rubs at his eyes. “But I am ready to marry Lara Jean. And to party all night with everyone.”

Owen nods, letting the birds chirping fill in the silence for a moment, and when he doesn’t think of something to say Peter speaks up.

“Do you think Dad is going to show up?”

Owen sighs, picking at his cuticles. “I don’t know,” He says truthfully, and Peter thinks maybe any other day he’d take that as a punch to the gut. “But I do know that you’re marrying your soulmate today and whether Dad is there or not, we’re going to have an amazing time.”

Peter nods, hugging Owen longer than he thinks he ever has before. “Thank you,” He mumbles against his shoulder, the two of them walking back inside to put their suits on to get ready to go.

—

His mom’s a mess before they’ve even left the house.

He doesn’t really expect anything less, but when he walks out onto the front step and she’s standing there with a smile on her face and obviously holding back tears, he rolls his eyes, smiling as he pulls her in for a hug.

“Thank you for everything,” He says quietly when he pulls back, holding her for a moment. “For raising Owen and I alone and making all those sacrifices that I know you didn’t always want to make.”

His mom smiles, squeezing his hands. “You know I would’ve done anything for you and Owen. Always,” She pauses, reaching up to brush her hands through his hair. “And I’m so happy that you’re marrying Lara Jean today. You have done so well for you and Emmi, and I know this is only the beginning of the best years of your lives.”

Peter nods, and when he finds he’s on the verge of tears again he ushers her to the car, the whole group making their way to Lara Jean’s.

_______________________________

Lara Jean stands just inside the doors of her living room watching the ceremony begin, her heart beating a million miles a minute. It’s just she and her dad now, and she’s been holding his hand the whole time in a desperate attempt to steady herself.

“Your mom would be so proud of you,” Dr. Covey says out of nowhere, smiling. “And I’m so proud of you. For opening the bakery, for marrying Peter. He’s a really good guy, sweetheart. And he’s going to make you the happiest you’ve ever been.”

Lara Jean nods, chewing on the corner of her lip. “I love you, Dad. And thank you for everything you’ve ever done for me. Especially since Mom died.”

Her dad smiles, and when Lara Jean looks up she can tell he’s trying not to cry as well. “I’m always going to be here, sweetheart,” He whispers, and then the music gets louder and he looks out and holds his arm out letting Lara Jean wrap her arm around it. “And I’m going to keep this short before we both start crying. Now, should we go have a wedding?”

And Lara Jean nods, letting her dad push open the door as they step out into the backyard.

—

Peter ends up crying the second he sees Emmi. She smiles at him, tossing flowers carefully down the aisle before leaning up to kiss him, moving to stand in front of Owen. And then he sees Lara Jean, gasping and somehow managing to cry a little more as she walks down, looking breathtaking in her dress as she slowly walks towards him.

The crying continues through most of the ceremony, where Lara Jean also cries and Emmi stands at Owen’s feet, looking up at them both with a smile on her face. It feels like a dream, Lara Jean finds, and as she slides the wedding ring onto Peter’s finger and says her vows following the officiant, and her heart is pounding and she has this overwhelming urge to kiss him before she’s allowed.

Then she _is_ allowed to kiss him, and her hands cup his face as he leans down, kissing him so softly while their guests cheer and they both laugh against each other, Peter kissing her once more before pulling away. She thought she’d be more nervous, standing in front of people and getting married, but she finds that the only person she wants to look at is Peter, who’s evidently feeling the same way as he holds her softly.

They turn back to face the crowd, Peter reaches down and pulls Emmi up into his arms and takes Lara Jean’s hand, and for the first time they are introduced to their friends and family as “Mr and Mrs. Kavinsky” as the three of them walk down the aisle together as a family for the first time.

They take photos over in the corner of the yard, Lara Jean gets all the photos she knows she’s going to want hung in the apartment, and when they walk back into the backyard with their wedding party Lara Jean swears it looks more magical than she could’ve ever dreamed.

Lara Jean and Peter formally walk in to cheers and flashes from cameras, and as they walk to the dance floor and Ed Sheeran’s _Perfect_ begins to play, Lara Jean realizes she’s having the first dance with her husband.

“We’re married,” She whispers when he pulls her close, and while normally she would be embarrassed in this situation, she’s not at all. Because right in front of her is Peter Kavinsky, and he’s leaning down and kissing her and everyone is watching their first dance and she’s convinced nothing else could be better than this.

“We are,” He mumbles in reply, and as the song ends he kisses her again, and then turns to where Emmi is sitting patiently on Owen’s lap, her hand holding Kitty’s as they watched the first dance.

When Peter explained to Lara Jean that he and Emmi had been dancing to Aerosmith’s _I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing_ since she was a newborn, Lara Jean said she felt it was important for them, and so she suggested they dance to it at the wedding.

She stands off to the side, watching the way Emmi stands on his feet and she places her tiny hands in his, and carefully they dance across the dance floor. And when the song is almost over and Peter walks over to pull Lara Jean in with them, she feels like every dream she’s ever had is finally coming true. Because they finally became an official family today (basically), and Emmi is beaming and Peter is emotional and it's everything Lara Jean had dreamed about since they first started planning this wedding.

They do the traditional dances with mother and son and father and daughter, but instead of taking turns they share the same song, _Blessed_ by Elton John, one that the four of them all agreed on. And while it’s unconventional, Lara Jean feels like it fits. Their whole relationship has been a little bit unconventional, and so sharing a first dance between their parents just seemed appropriate.

They walk around the reception to say hello while everyone eats, Emmi sitting in between Owen and Kitty so she can her her dinner. They stop at Lara Jean’s family’s table, her grandmother kissing them both on the cheek and smiling.

“The Korean touches are perfect,” She says softly, and while Peter loved them either way, the smile on Lara Jean’s face is more than enough to know they did the right thing. “Makes me feel like your mother is here.”

“Me too,” Lara Jean nods. "Thank you for helping us with suggestions. I’m glad you like the touches we added,” She says, and her grandmother beams as Lara Jean kisses her again, holding her hand for a moment and silently feeling so incredibly blessed that her grandmother lived to see this moment before they moved onto other family members.

Peter’s dad did show up. He’s sitting at a table with his side of the family, talking and smiling and laughing and for a moment Peter finds himself so angry that he has all these relationships with his family, but he doesn’t care to know him or Owen or even Emmi.

But he swallows his anger, taking Lara Jean’s hand as they walk over to the table. “Dad, you remember Lara Jean,” Peter says. And his dad is standing and smiling, shaking Peter’s hand and pulling Lara Jean in for a hug, and then his wife is standing up.

“Nicole, this is Lara Jean. You remember Peter.”

And Nicole nods, shaking both of their hands and congratulating them. “This is lovely, you guys,” She says softly, smiling.

“I’m really happy for you, Peter. That you’ve found someone and you’ve settled down,” His dad says. It sounds sincere and he’s smiling, and so Peter nods, thanking him.

“Thank you for coming,” He replies quietly, and while there’s a million things left unsaid Peter says that they should keep moving along, and so they say their goodbyes for now.

“Well at least he came?” Lara Jean tries when they’re walking back to eat dinner themselves. “And he seems genuinely happy for us. So it wasn’t horrible.”

Peter nods, squeezing her hand and kissing her again, sliding into the chair at their table with the wedding party and enjoying the night.

—

Emmi has the time of her life. She dances around with Lucas and Gabe and Lara Jean and Chris, and for a moment Lara Jean feels so alive and so much like she’s a high schooler again. And then Peter finds them, lifting Emmi into his arms and kissing his wife’s cheek, dancing with them.

They dance together for hours, until their hearts are thumping and their faces hurt from smiling, and Lara Jean is almost positive she’s never had a better time. Peter nudges Lara Jean when they’re dancing to a slow song to show her Kitty and Owen, who are dancing together with Owen holding her close, and Lara Jean smiles, her head falling against Peter’s chest.

“Maybe one day we’ll be at their wedding celebrating,” She whispers, and Peter lets himself wonder what that wedding would be like, quietly agreeing.

They join everyone out on the lawn for sparklers as the night dies down, and as Emmi grows tired Peter pulls her up onto his hip, her head resting against his shoulder.

“Did you have the best night ever?” He asks quietly, hand resting on her back.

She nods softly, wrapping her arms around his neck as she pulls herself closer. “Love you, Daddy.”

“Love you more, kid,” He whispers, pressing a kiss to her head and nudging her so she’ll lean up to set off the sparklers.

They stand out on the side lawn with their friends and family surrounding them, and carefully Peter pulls Lara Jean into his side. He watches as everyone’s sparklers light up the backyard, the stars bright in the sky and the crickets chirping beneath their feet, and he tries to memorize everything surrounding him for the rest of his life.

Today had been the best day of his life. And as Emmi dozes off against his shoulder while they say their goodbyes to everyone, he finds himself hopeful about the future. About raising Emmi together and having more kids and falling in love with each passing moment. He knows one day he’ll forget about these things, where they’ll only be photos in an album for them to look at, but right now he wants to live in this moment forever.

Where Emmi is asleep on his shoulder and Lara Jean is pressed against his side, and together they’re celebrating with their closest friends and family. He can’t think of a better way to end the night, a better way to start this new chapter of their lives.

Today is the day they became Mrs. and Mrs. Peter Kavinsky.

Life doesn’t get any better than this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> like i said, i had a hard time cutting anything out so we get a full 7k+ words of just wedding nonsense! hope you guys enjoyed it! :)
> 
> i did cut the best man/maid of honor speeches (because this was getting ridiculously long and i had to cut something haha), but if you guys wanted them in a separate one-shot i could write them?
> 
> the only thing that's not elaborated on is the dance between emmi and peter. there's a reason for that! and the reason is i've been working on a one-shot of that of when it started/little moments where it occurred as it's something they've done for a while and wasn't special just for the wedding! it's not quite finished yet, but it couldn't be posted until after this was done anyway or it would've ruined it! so you can look forward to that :)
> 
> [here](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/72/e2/44/72e2446716f3e0278a51245ab1be08f5.jpg) is the link to emmi's hair  
> [here](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/27/81/58/278158bbf066a890ab8923ebcba03323.jpg) is the link to lara jean's hair  
> [here](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/04/9c/ae/049caed7c9dd5973afa1c50e00d860a6.jpg) is the link to their wedding cake
> 
> and for previous reference:  
> [here](https://www.dhresource.com/0x0s/f2-albu-g5-M01-0D-B3-rBVaJFkpQsaAStyiAAMh32rs2Pg571.jpg/vintage-full-lace-wedding-dresses-a-line.jpg) is a link to the wedding dress  
> [here](http://www.cubejelly.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/500x667/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/2/8/28002026.jpg) is a link to the bridesmaids dresses  
> [here](https://images.prod.meredith.com/product/5b10af271dbc39637f2b7b32d3c06b6c/1522209800598/l/flower-girl-dresses-floor-length-flower-girls-ivory-dress-lace-dress-rustic-flower-girl-dress-boho-flower-girl-dress-vintage-flower-girl) is a link to the flower girl dress  
> [here](https://www.creditdonkey.com/image/1/james-allen-cushion-outline-halo.png) is a link to the engagement ring
> 
> :)
> 
> thank you guys so so so much for commenting/writing/leaving kudos on this! i'm so glad you guys enjoyed it as much as i enjoyed writing it!
> 
> like i've said before i'm going to keep writing in this universe, but it's probably going to come in the form of one-shots rather than full fic again :) so, if there's any moment you want to see feel free to comment them/message me on tumblr if you want and i'll do my best to include them! i do have a list of them and i hope to start posting them fairly soon! 
> 
> thank you guys for reading!!
> 
> title of the chapter is from Good Day for Marrying You by Dave Barnes :)

**Author's Note:**

> you can follow me on tumblr [here](https://peter-covinskys.tumblr.com/) if you want :)


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